Thursday, January 31, 2013

A week of fretting.

Are you a fretter? 


1. fume, rage. 6. worry, harass, goad, tease. 7. erode, gnaw, corrode, abrade, grind, rub, rust. 10.harassment, agitation, worry.


When i start to worry about something, it takes over my life.  I've been this way every since i was a little, and as a 6 year old, i would express concern over the way my parents were managing the household.  I was that kid.  Some people have perfected the art of "going with the flow" but not me.
Neither the weather or I can get our shit together this week....

I might be looking at some major changes on the horizon, (or maybe i won't? I'm just fretting after all!)  But regardless, worrying about potential change is eating at my insides.  And any possibility for change in my routine has my whole week out of sorts.  Normally i have all my meals prepared so i can just grab them and go, my running bag is packed, my blog posts are typed.  This week?  No.  I am running in wool socks and eating stale jelly beans for breakfast.

What is the most horrible feeling your feet have ever experienced?  Because until you try running on a treadmill in thick wool walking socks, you do not know pain....

As i was running out my door this morning, late, disheveled, and shooting reddi-wip into my mouth justifying it as breakfast (it's like the cousin of yogurt, right??) It occurred to me that i might not be the only one who falls apart in the face of change.

So, before my car keys end up in the freezer, and my feet end up chafing down to the bone, Do you also worry needlessly??  How do you snap yourself out of it?

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Kindred Spirits

Have you ever seen people that look like their pets?  I have had a few people at work comment that Waffles kind of looks like me.  The main reason being that she has an auburn colored coat, and i have red hair.  We also both have long narrow noses, and skinny, underdeveloped arms.  (I like to think that i have ears that are much more proportional to my head though...)  There are a few good examples out there, but other than maybe matching hair colors, it's hard to find a dog to be your doppleganger.  

While i may not really look like my dog, it is becoming more and more apparent that we have similar personalities and living styles.  It might be because i have raised her since she was a pup, but we definitely act alike.

We are both hating winter.  We just have no tolerance for the cold.  It's nice for running, but pretty much nothing else.  Our daily walks have been shortened because we are both miserable, and salt burns the pups feet.  I usually end up having to carry her home.  We are waiting for summer!  A 90 degree day SUCKS for running, but is awesome for everything else.  We are anxiously awaiting the warmth.  We both are picky about our food (Hey!  We're classy gals that deserve the best!) and love our sleep.  We radically sway from running/playing tirelessly for two hours straight, to napping on the couch all afternoon.  We are super active and super lazy simultaneously.  We also both get overwhelmed in social situations.  Too many people/dogs make us uncomfortable, and i deal with it by drinking and saying awkward things, and she deals with it by snapping at unfamiliar bigger dogs that approach her.  We're like two peas in a pod!

Hooray for running and watching TV after running - our two favorite activities!

Do you share any traits with your pets?  Would you seek out a pet that matches your lifestyle?

Monday, January 28, 2013

Marathon Training, week 5.

Miles: 31
Martinis: 2.5
Strength Training: 3 p90x sessions
Overall outlook:  I feel good, but will most likely need to trim back on the strength training.  It's too much of an energy suck, and cuts into the precious time i have to run.  Also, my knee hurts like a bitch right now.

My long run Saturday morning really took a lot out of me.  It was supposed to be 14 miles, but it was cut a little short to avoid accidentally becoming a part of the F^3 half marathon.  The first half of the run was extra hard because of the cold. The "feels like" temp was hovering around 3 degrees, and my water bottle froze solid. Eventually the sun came out and it got a little warmer, but it was definitely draining.  I went home and spent a good chunk of time wrapped up in blankets on the couch watching the Biggest Loser.  And enjoying a martini.
I eventually worked up the balls to have another go at making pizza.  Matt had the fire extinguisher and a Chipotle coupon ready, but luckily, neither were needed!
Basil and balsamic reduction, yum!

Sunday morning, i met up with some friends for brunch at Karyns before the ice storm hit.  My friend Rachel and I spotted what appeared to be a banksy work, but we have no way to verify...
So much culture before noon....

When i got home, there was a terrifying amount of feathers on the sidewalk.  I assumed a dog or cat had gotten a hold of a bird.  I went upstairs, and was looking out the window, scouting for ice, and right outside was a hawk, eating a pigeon!! I don't know why i was so entranced, but i was.  It was like animal planet, only outside my window.  I eventually took the dog out, and talked to some of my neighbors who were also watching the hawk.  Why is there a hawk in logan square??
So much nature before two.....

Then the ice storm hit, and we stayed indoors for the rest of the day, and i made PRETZEL ROLLS! We used to get them at Marianos, but since i refuse to go there anymore because it's so crazy on weekends, Matt has been craving them.  Much like the tortillas, it's just easier to make them myself...
 
I'm not going to lie; we ate them all, and i had to make a second batch.  #fatfluential.



Friday, January 25, 2013

Why i love Honey Boo Boo, and you should too!

This little rant is brought to you in response to a bitchy west coast healthy living blogger (who shall remain nameless) that said some truly hateful and evil things about Honey Boo Boo and her family.  Seriously?  She's a seven year old.  Back off.  I know that show doesn't embrace a healthy lifestyle, but the whole world doesn't revolve around calorie restriction, believe it or not.  Not to take on even more responsibility, but i now consider myself the defender of Alana, and if you want to talk smack about a little girl and what she eats, i will snap your emaciated body in TWO.  

If you are unfamiliar with Honey Boo Boo, its a TLC reality show.  I am fairly certain most of it is exaggerated for TV.  They definitely play up the redneck aspect of the show, but growing up in a redneck family, i find it endearing.  They are working class, and enjoy a southern diet.  The mom is overweight, but if you watch the show, it is obvious that she truly loves her children and would do anything for them.  

Are we seriously going to wish death on people just because they eat spaghetti with butter and ketchup on it?  Some people eat primarily canned and processed foods because thats all they can afford.  Seriously. It's not just one crazy family in Alabama.  Its actually a big chunk of America.  Having access, and the financial means, to feed a family of six an organic super-healthy diet is actually really expensive!

And for the record, eating a processed food based diet does not condemn you to a life of obesity.  It sometimes allows you to survive childhood without starving to death, so that you can grow up and decide to eat however you want.

You know who was raised on canned green beans, saltine crackers with butter, and american cheese slices?


THIS GIRL.
 And, for the record, i have had spaghetti with ketchup.  I personally don't like it.  But if you seriously have nothing else to eat, you will eat it, god dammit.  Anyone sticking their nose up has maybe never been truly hungry.  Be grateful.

So, let she among us who was a 7 year old organic paleo gluten-free vegan yoga enthusiast cast the first stone.

I think your awesome Alana, and here are some reasons why!
(in response to her sister's baby being born with a deformity)
Samesies.  Optimism rules.

If only the whole world was as tolerant as you.  You're so wise, little one.
All women could take a page out of your book!

But seriously, even if you don't like the show (and honestly, reality TV is not everyone's cup of tea.  It's totally mine though)  If you look past the antics of the show, you see a family that loves and supports each other unconditionally.  Yeah, they don't eat healthy.  But, seeing as how momma June is putting all the money they make from the show into college funds for each of the girls, they will have the opportunity to maybe pick up some nutritional guidance down the road.  

Either way, i think you are one of the most normal people out there, and it really makes me sad that grown women are saying such (frighteningly!) horrible things about you.  Because, when all is said and done...

...you're a seven year old.  

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I think first world problems could also be whiny wednesdays, because thats basically what it is.

1.  WHY IS IT SO COLD???  Seriously, -15 degrees is lame.  And thats all there is to say about it.  I don't want to run, i don't want to get in my car, i don't want to walk that dog.  I just want to sit next to a space heater and pout.  The end.

First World Problems.

2.  In attempt to warm up last night after walking the dog in the aforementioned sub zero temps, i made this stunningly instagrammed hot cocoa.
Until i realized on the first sip that i don't even like hot cocoa.  It tastes like chalk.  I really just wanted the Reddi-wip.  Granted, i chugged the stupid thing anyway because i'm a god damn trooper, but i didn't enjoy it.

First World Problems.

3.   I miss daylight.  I really, really miss it.  And the weather channel keeps rubbing it in my face that i leave work everyday and it's pitch black.
You call that darkness outside sunny?  IN WHAT WORLD, WEATHER CHANNEL?  MORDOR???

First World Problems.

4.



I think the picture speaks for itself.

Actually, i am totally kidding.  Waffles is in no way responsible for this.  My runners snaggle toe managed to slice a hole in the sheets, and then they completely started to unravel in the wash.  Bad, snaggle-toe, BAD!

First World Problems.

5.  Speaking of the place which i slumber, i had that stupid teeth falling out dream again!! Only this time, i couldn't wake myself up because my noodle arms are so sore (STILL!) from that ONE time i did P90x that was unable to even poke myself to wake up.

First world problems.

6. Another dream i keep having which isn't a nightmare involves a fictional candy store where i go to buy sparkle gummy bears.  I'm not even making this up, i have a candy store that my brain made up that i visit in my sleep.  Almost every night.  I have problems that can't even be defined.

First World Problems.

7.

WHY IS THERE NEVER ENOUGH POPCORN!!!

First World Problems

8.  I spent my entire day at work yesterday coloring bamboo skewers with a marker.  

I'm super important, and kind of a big deal.

First World Problems.

9. According to NPR all week, about 360 of the health departments chimps are set to retire.  The only problem is, there is no way to accommodate them with out 30 million dollar chimp habitat fund.  That money would be gone by July.

a.  We have a 30 million chimp budget?
b.  When do i get to retire and go to a 30 million dollar habitat?
c.  NO SERIOUSLY, We have a 30 million dollar chimp budget??

First World Problems.

10.  The world is aflutter because groupon has decided to review and most likely cease all of its gun related deals.  Texas in particular is up in arms over this (pun intended) (god, i am so funny) Aside from the irony that yet another school shooting took place yesterday, IN Texas, people are lining up to buy semi-automatics and plastering the interwebs with "Guns don't kill people, People kill people" shenaniganery.  Yeah, i suppose that Guns don't kill people, but seriously, people kill people WITH GUNS.  Lets stop making them that much more accessible with groupons for "gun range & brewery tour experience!"  And yes, that one was real, because i almost bought it.  

And, just to clarify, i am not "anti-gun".  I come from a proud hunting family.  My Aunt Holly can take down a 6-point buck with just a bow and arrow, Katsniss style.  That takes way more skill than mowing down a herd of deer with semi-automatic.   So everybody calm down, and just buy one of the other 8 million groupons.  Perhaps a nice massage or a facial.

First World Problems.

11.  Sorry about the last one becoming a rant.  My brain filter is broken.  I blame the P90x.

First World Problems!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Holy crap, strength training is hard.

As a part of my attempt to fully commit to marathon training, i am forcing myself to do strength training.  Or something like it at least.  A couple people i work with have at various points attempted to do P90x in our basement gym.  It usually fizzles out due to work pressures, but they have recommitted fot the new year and dragged me down with them talked me into it.

Obviously, i can't fully commit to the p90x schedule because it involves working out 6 days a week, and i can't do that AND keep up with marathon training (and my job, and my life).  But, i am going to try to do it a couple times a week, and hey - how bad can it be, right?

OMFG, IT'S SO HARD!!!!!!

Seriously, let's casually do 30 push-ups in a minute?  followed by 30 more in an even harder positing?  And then lets do it with our feet on chair?  IN WHAT WORLD, P90X?????
We played the dvd on a laptop, because we are SO classy.
And then, when your body is about to break, lets do the whole damn thing ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, i knocked out about 5 solid push-ups, and spent the rest of the time on the floor in the fetal position, whimpering, and rolling around because my noodle arms no longer functioned enough to pick myself up.
I can't even explain how bad it had to be for me to be laying on that disgusting carpeted floor.  I snapped this photo, but i was actually trying to dial 9-1-1.

I woke up this morning and i felt like I was in some kind of horrific accident.  And i am fairly certain i bruised a rib.  How does one bruise a rib during an arm work out, you ask?  Probably by rolling around on the floor crying like a giant baby.

Needless to say, this crap is really, really hard.  But, the fact that i ran four marathons last year and can't do 5 push-ups kind of makes me look like a jack-ass, and i am committed to changing that.  Some day, 10 push-ups, SOME DAY!!!

In all seriousness though, it's fun to do with other people around.  I would have some serious motivation issues if i was trying to do this all by myself.  The video is cheesy, and laughing about it with your friends makes this torture video almost enjoyable. 

<3 Bustedfoxxx

Monday, January 21, 2013

Marathon Training: week 4.

Shits about to get real.

Miles: 26
Martinis: 3 (plus a few caipirinhas, or brazilian martinis, as i called them.)
Overall outlook: This week was another fail, but i have high hopes from here on out.

Whats my deal?  A huge factor has been air quality. I had two runs end in asthma attacks last week, which is scary.  Even with the inhaler, you aren't going to finish a run once that happens.  I have also been waking up with bloody noses, whatever that means, other than that i am just too cool for words sometimes.  I'm not sure what i can do other than just carry on and deal with it.  I failed on a lot of levels last week in that i totally let stress interfere with training.  However, in the midst of that stress, i made some awesome plans to keep myself on track.  We'll see how they pan out this week.

I also excited to attempt speed work again.  Pete was finally able to break it down for me in an understandable way (i.e. drinking.)  I'm gonna be all fast.

Either way, my marathon is in 14 weeks, so it's business time.  

During this weekends long run, which was 13.1 miles, i realized how glad i am that i didn't sign up for any races in January or February.  I'm just not up for it right now.  And those 13.1 miles were painful.  So have fun out there, suckers.  (I'm just kidding, good luck to everyone running F^3 this weekend, i will be out there training, and running much slower than all of you.  It's how i like to roll.)

This weekend i also took waffles to the dog part before the deep freeze.  
video
She is the curly tailed one that is head butting all the other dogs trying to get them to chase her.  She ran around for 2 hours!  Thank goodness, because with a wind chill of negative 9 night now, its too cold for her to even go on walks.  She goes potty and then sprints back to the door.  

We also did a major cleaning on Sunday, but Matt took it way too far when he decided to scrub the grill in the sub freezing temps.  Obviously, all the water just froze to it instantly, so now we have a quarter inch of ice on the grill.  

I  got really excited this weekend because i found a Le Creuset ceramic pie pan marked down to $7 at home goods.  
I mean $7?  Thats a steal!  only upon further research, i found out that while not labeled or publicly communicated, Le Creuset started outsourcing in recent years to:  You guessed it, China.  Only their cast iron is still made in France.  I wanted to throw the damn thing off the balcony in protest, but Matt intervened due to his love of potato and gruyere gallete.  So, the stupid dish will stay with us, but i am writing an angry letter to Le Creuset just the same.  

Today is a little too cold for me to run outside until i get this asthma situation in check, so sadly, i will be vanquished to the treadmill.  I really don't mind though - i mean days these cold days are few and far between.  My only real complaint about the cold is spontaneously needing to pee.  The second the cold air hits you, it's like BOOM!  and very few bathrooms are available on the outdoor running paths.  
I foresee many humorous public urination incidents in the near future......

Are you weirdly affected by cold?  

Friday, January 18, 2013

Tempo Tantrum

Well, for the second week in a row, my attempt at speed training was ugly and terrible.  Only this time it literally tried to kill me.  

My thought was to have a warm up mile, two miles at tempo pace (whatever that is...a tempo pace for me is a normal pace for most people) and a mile cool down.  Instead, i was a 1 mile warm up, about 1.5 mile tempo, asthma attack, and a half mile walk.  Having an asthma attack is kinda the worst thing ever.  You're running along, looking cool (well not me, but some people) and then all of a sudden it's like someone turned off the oxygen.  You breathe in, but you don't get any air.  And then if you're me (be grateful you aren't), you panic and make everything ten times worse.

It's like nature doesn't want me to improve at running.  My legs felt fine, my brain felt fine, but my lungs were like "awwww HELLLLL no.  we're done here."  So apparently, speed is just not my thing.
Regardless, the experience left me with two pieces of core knowledge:

1.  I have no idea what i am doing.

2. My asthma is kinda outta control this winter.  

Obviously, i need to stop being a doofus and have my inhaler on me at all times, no matter how bulky and #runnerdy it makes me look.  But the speed training is a mystery to me.  And i can't be doing it right if it is ending in an asthma attack.  All the guides say things like run your 5k pace for half a mile!  run your 10k pace for 2 miles!  seriously?  My pace for any distance is don't die or look like you're dying.  I don't have a set pace for ANY distance.  I ran one 10k last year, and it was 95 degrees, and i think my pace ended up being like 9:50/mile.  Is that my 10k pace then?

Why is speed training so mysterious?  perhaps i'll never know or understand how to speed train.  I will spend my life and my fortune (ha) desperately searching for the answers, much like the people still investigating the disappearance of Amelia Earhart (spoiler: she crashed the f***ing plane. But seriously, why are we still spending money to investigate this one??)

Or maybe someone will be able to dumb it down enough for me to understand through stick figures and smiley faces.  Either way.  It's hard and exhausting and confusing.  But i suppose it's supposed to be that way....

What am i complaining about?  At least I'm not Lance Armstrong.... 

Suck it, Lance Armstrong.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Would you?

Are you working your hardest to lose weight and not seeing results?? FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!

How much dough are you willing to spend to try and be the fittest of them all?

How much would you be willing to spend for a product that would make you lose weight?
Zaggora
Especially when the science behind it is to make you hotter?  Why not just wear two pairs of existing pants? Or, i dunno, work twice as hard?  Following in the footsteps of shape-ups (or whatever those toning shoes were called, i don't freaking remember)(also, pun intended.) Comes the newest fad in fit.  Clothing that makes you burn more calories by making you hotter.  

What. the.  f***.

Granted, i am 90% certain these are not geared towards serious athletes, marathoners in general, or mediocre quasi-runners like myself, but i spend every single minute that i am running trying not to be hot.  It is really my only goal.  Don't be uncomfortably hot. They even state that they are targeting moms and casual fitness people, so props on knowing their market.  I am actually not trying to be snarky, (i am just really, super grouchy and stressed this week, sorry i'm not sorry.), and i saw this new company on yahoo articles, and i thought i would put this one up for discussion:

Does being hotter burn more calories?  (are there any science savvy people out there?)
Would you pay extra for something that burned more calories if the science actually confirmed it?

Either way good luck to them and anyone trying to get in shape.  And you have very cute colors, so you have that going for you.

Also, i may or may not be quitting blogging to start my own clothing line - DoublePants (patent pending).  Its two pairs of pants, sewn together.  I will test out a prototype as soon as i acquire a second pair of pants with which to create the aforementioned prototype. 

WINNING!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Taco Tuesday.

Ok, before i say anything, i am still REELING from having that nightmare where all your teeth fall out.  Dang that nightmare is scary.  Why is having your teeth fall out so terrifying?  I mean, i have dental insurance.  They could replace my teeth.  Probably with better ones, actually... Regardless, even in the dream, i was trying to wake myself up by screaming "i have dental insurance, I HAVE DENTAL INSURANCE!"  I sure hope i don't talk in my sleep.

Moving on.

Last night i made TACOS!  It's really not that big of a deal, but i needed a boost after so many pizza failures.  I even made the tortillas from scratch!  It's not like fresh tortillas are hard to come by here - If i really want, there is a tortilla factory a few miles down the road, and they deliver fresh tortillas to the grocery stores daily.  But, i like to know how to make things.  Plus, what if something happens to that tortilla factory someday??  In a post-apocalyptic tortilla-less world, i will have nothing to worry about.

Also, my grocery store is stupidly crowded, and just going there makes me want to punch people.
Seriously.  It's easier to just make the tortillas.
I love tacos because you can just put whatever you have on them.  Matt made a seasoned chicken to put on the tacos that was tasty, but i don't really like chicken, so i tend to favor pinto beans and avocado.  
The tortillas were pretty easy actually.  The only downside was that i made them a little small, so the tacos were tiny.  But that just means eat more of them, right?
It's like a hand fruit!

Anywhose, they were delicious!  Matt and i totally pigged out.  Here is how to make tortillas!

2 c. Masa Harina flour
1/2 t. salt
1.5 c. warm water

Mix the salt and flour together, and slowly add the water.  Stir it up with a spoon, or just use your hands.  I ended up adding about 2T. extra corn flour because my dough was a little sticky.  I should probably try harder to measure things.  Make the dough into a giant ball.  (if its dry and cracking, add water.  If it is sticking to your hands and the bowl, add flour.  It should feel spongey.)  Place it in its bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let it sit for an hour.  This allows you to watch exactly one rerun of Lost while someone chops your veggies for you. 

After an hour passes, divide the dough into 12-16 little balls.  I did 16, but they were small.  Then, pop them in your tortilla press.  Oh wait - you don't have a tortilla press?  Neither do i.  I covered a cutting board and frying pan with plastic wrap and squashed those tortillas the cartoon way - smashing them with the frying pan.  It worked surprisingly well - there were only one or two that stuck and had to be re-rolled and re-squashed.  You only cook the tortillas for a few minutes, flipping half way through.  i stacked them on a plate with a paper towel over them and they stayed warm surprisingly longer than store tortillas.  

They were tasty, and nothing was set on fire.  Happy days!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Marathon training week 3

Miles: 26
Martinis: 4
Runs skipped: 2
Overall outlook:  Not so good.
Strength training:  None.  But i did have to make multiple trips up and down the stairs carrying heavy things at work one day.  Close enough, right?

Last week felt abnormally hard for me.  The runs not only left me fatigued, but sore.  Like really sore.  Post-marathon sore.  Seeing as i haven't run a marathon, or anything remotely close to one, it really only leaves two possibilities.  

a. My body has figured out what i am up to and has decided to quit.
b. Fighting the flu epidemic and cranking out immunity has taken its toll.

Either way, it was a rough, off week.  Everything i ate didn't sit right, and every time i went to sleep i was restless.  I ended up skipping two runs, and i feel like crap about it.  If i can't hack it now, i am in major trouble the next couple months.  Thus, the four martinis.  Balance.

Some other major weekend events?  I went to see my mom, who decided to adopt a dog.  This is a whole world of drama which i am happy to discuss offline with people.  Regardless, he is a husky-sheperd mix, and being introduced to a house with three cats, i figured he could use another canine to pal around with.  I was wrong.  He was not a fan of waffles at all.  The only time he didn't want to destroy her was when they were both on a walk.  So walk we did!  for like two hours.  
We drove back to the city so that Banner (the new dog) could calm down and have his space back.  When we got home, our friend Jordan was over, and Waffles happily slept in his lap while the boys played guitar hero.
I played with my iphone - i am still trying to figure out SIRI and instagram.  The only picture i could get Waffles to hold still for was when i stole her chew toy, and she gave me a ridiculously dramatic horrified look.
Chill, you'll get it back in 10 seconds.
So most of my weekend was spent resting and napping.  I was not sick, but i felt so tired and run down that i just needed to reboot.  I had almost forgotten what a life suck training for a marathon can be.

Almost.

And, did anyone watch the golden globes?  If i can be 1/100th as funny as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, i will die a happy woman.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Safety first!

I just thought i would use this beautiful Friday morning to remind everyone to BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.  Running in the winter is the best, because only the BAMF's (bad ass mother f***ers) are out there doing it.  The path is empty, the neighborhoods are quiet, and it is generally peaceful.  The down side to this is that it is dark all time, are you are usually completely alone if you don't run in the group.  Unlike summer, there aren't dozens of people out meandering around in the warm sunlight.  While less people should equate to more safety, that isn't quite true.

The main reason for this rant is that someone was mugged at gunpoint right in front of my apartment last weekend.  At a totally reasonable hour, that i would potentially be out, running around the neighborhood, by myself.  I would like to point out that even though i live in the city, it is not a bad neighborhood.  I know most of my neighbors, and it's a lot of very nice families.  We specifically chose to live in this neighborhood because it was safe and quiet.  

Just because our neighborhood seemed safe, doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful.  Obviously in a perfect world, we would just run with a posse at all times.  Or at very least, a body guard.  But, some of us just can't swing that.  So here are a few reminders, because you never know.

1.  Always be super diligent of your surroundings.  Whether you are on a city street, suburban neighborhood, lakefront path, or a remote trail.  If something seems out of place - trust your instincts.

2.  Know how to defend yourself.  I will be carrying pepper-spray from now on - even to walk the dog.  We also had a mandatory "anti-rape" class in high school where we were taught to gouge an attackers eyes with our car keys.  Just be ready.

3.  Don't argue.  If they want money, just give it to them.  It's just money.

4.  If they try to force you into a car or building, run for your god damn life.  Even if they shoot you, it will most likely not be a fatal shot.  If they get you into their murder van though, you are not coming back out.   

5. Never just sneak out for a run.  Always make sure that someone knows when you are running, how long you are running, and where you run.  That way if anything does happen, people will know immediately if something isn't right.

So be safe and diligent out there, kiddos!  Even the safest neighborhoods have muggers and crazies.

Safe and stylish.  And so much more compact than the machete.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

First Wednesdays Problems.

Awwww, its the first FWP of the new year.

BLERGHHH!

1. My first attempt at speed work was last night.  The schedule called for four 800m repeats.  Easy enough, right?  WRONG.  Do you know how difficult it is to run even moderately fast for four minutes?  It's really hard.  My splits were embarrassing, and the whole ordeal just made me sad and nauseous.  BOOOOOO, speed-training!
This smirk is actually meant to convey rage.  It's difficult to communicate through facial expressions.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  Last nights failure to generate speed was supposed to followed by 6 miles this morning.  It's Matts day to deal with the dog in the AM, so i was gonna get up early, and go knock those 6 miles out!  
What actually happened?  I punched the alarm clock and slept until 8.  The time i am supposed to leave for work.  AWESOME.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

3.  My new years eve outfit was marred by my mutant toe...
Although i was highly impressed by instagram's ability to disguise ole blackey.  #runstyle

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

4.  I don't have to worry about my toe in fancy shoes any more though, because waffles ATE THOSE SHOES...

So apparently this is what i get for owning expensive shoes.  R.I.P., Jeffery Campbell sparkle heels...

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5.  I threw a coworker a surprise baby shower this week, and i made cake-pops for all my coworkers.  Being OCD, i wanted to bring exactly 24 cake-pops.  Knowing that Matt cannot contain himself around cake-pops, i made a few extra to be sacrificed to him to save the others.  But then i fell asleep.
And woke up to this:
I CAN NOT COMMUNICATE HOW ANGRY THIS MAKES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!!

6.  I know oatmeal is the staple of healthy living, but i can't get on board.  Whenever i eat it, i feel like the guy in alien.  I am fairly certain that one of these days, the oatmeal will rip through my stomach and start running around my office.  Oatmeal does not seem to agree with me.  It's heavy and dense, much like that cursed pizza dough.  I hate it when my surplus of healthy food just makes me feel too full. le sigh.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

7.  They are remaking Evil Dead.  I do not approve.  Why do we have to constantly mess with perfection??  Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi not only approve of this, but they are also producing it.  But this means nothing as I DO NOT APPROVE.  When did my opinion become so meaningless in hollywood?  What is going to happen when they make a B class horror movie with an A class budget??

I'm totally going to go see it anyway.  sigh....
(they have the preview trailer on youtube - i didn't post it because it's fairly gruesome, and might offend some people - but check it out if you dare!)

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  I was running errands the other day with a friend, and she changed my radio station from NPR to one of the pop music stations in hopes that Ke$ha would come on.  (it did.  twice.) I guess i forgot to ever change it back, because i started jamming to pop music this morning.  This song came on, and i was totally loving it so i shazamed it.  It was Justin Beiber.
WTF IS GOING ON?????????  I feel so wrong.  And i just want to dance.....all i need is a beauty and a beat...OMG SERIOUSLY WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

9.  Marathon training.  If anyone so much as grazes my shins or knees, i wince in pain.  Why does it hurt so bad?  WHY?!?!??!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  So i have a personal new years resolution that i didn't post on here as to not offend anyone, but involves me trying to avoid purchasing anything manufactured in China.  Every time i buy something made in China, i am only hurting US design jobs (like mine) and US manufacturing jobs (like my brothers, who is currently laid off again).  So, while i am fairly certain it's impossible, i am going to try to buy US made items as much as humanly possible.  Sadly, i am in need of a pair of running pants.  I own one pair, and that is sort of ridiculous.  I have been searching everywhere, but every freaking pair of running pants in made in China!!! WTF? Needless to say, there might soon be a pantless runner cruising the lakefront path.  (spoiler: it will be me.)  FOR AMERICA!!!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

2013 - a year of much-anticipated problems!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

When the going gets tough....

The tough buy hats.


So now i am very easy to spot!  If you see me on the lakefront this winter, say hi!  And tell me to move my ass!  I could use the encouragement/threatening demands.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Pizza fail, and week 1 (technically 2) of marathon training.

What a humbling week it's been.  It's never easy to admit your shortcomings, but this past week has been jam-packed with them.

This was my first official week of marathon training.  Luckily, the first few weeks are meant to set you up for a solid 12 weeks of training (in my opinion).  Because my race date doesn't correlate with the training schedule, i technically merged the first two weeks together.  I will also have to tack on extra mileage to my long runs all throughout the program.  I am not too concerned about this, because once i actually start running, it is pretty easy to continue.  But man, is it hard to wake up, get ready in the dark, and go run in the freezing cold.  I definitely lack motivation to do that.

I have a lot of friends running the F^3 and Polar dash half marathons in the upcoming weeks.  This makes me painfully aware of the fact that not only could i not come anywhere near a decent race time right now, i don't even know that i could finish a half marathon.  It's scary how quickly we can reach that point.  I ran a marathon two months ago and felt great!  Now 6 miles leaves me tired and wheezy.  I am in for a world of pain as i ramp back up.  

Speaking of that recent marathon, my toenail hasn't improved at all.  It's actually looking worse.  It's still black, and it now appears that base of the nail is separating from the skin.  I would post a picture, but it is straight up disgusting.  I am starting to lose hope for spring sandals.  

For Christmas, i got an amazing cookbook of complex vegetarian recipes.  This was pretty exciting, because most vegetarian recipes i have found are a little lack-luster.  I like salad and all, but i want to be challenged when i cook.  And challenged i was.

Since i started attempting recipes in this book, i have been reminded every day that i do not have the proper tools to have a functioning kitchen.  Exhibit A:
I don't own a rolling pin.  Therefore i was forced to use a wine bottle to roll out the pizza dough.  It didn't really matter anyway, because something had already gone terribly wrong in the dough-rising process.  I tried everything to make this dough rise, and it just sat there mocking me.  We carried on with the pizza anyway, and it ended up tasting ok, but crust was so dense it was like eating a brick.  Matt still put away 4 pieces though, you know, to make me feel better. 
This battle is far from over.

Despite spending me weekend failing as a runner, and failing as a pizza chef, i did succeed in cuddling.  After my 8 mile run on Saturday, i had a hard time warming up, so i curled up on the couch with a pile of blankets.  Within 20 minutes, i had been swarmed.
They all just came over and fell asleep on top of me.  It kind of sucked to be unable to move for two hours, but it was endearing at the same time.  

Here's hoping that in 16 weeks, i am running the best marathon of my life, and making a pizza that will knock you on your ass.  (and not just because it doubles as a battering ram.)