Lunchtime FWP

1. Since Matt and i have lived together, he has done laundry twice.  And each time, he has managed to somehow find my most expensive sweater and ruin it.

I assure you, this was not a cropped sweater when i first got it.  For the life of him, he cannot figure out why people would ever wear clothes that can't be dried.  And god forbid you look at the tag.....Goodbye, sweet cardigan....
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


2.  In an attempt to heal my ailing feet, i decided to soak them in epsom salt.  

When i removed my feet, Waffles was secretly waiting and proceeded to lick every morsel of bathsalt off my feet.  I fully expect to come home to a zombie basenji that will eat my face.  It's not a huge stretch...she did bite matt on the nose once.  Although he bit her first....

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


3.  You what else that little asshole did?  She decided to eat a bic pen.  All over the white carpet. 

 Granted we have no business having a white rug ever.  But still, the carpet?!?!?!  The worst part is, we were right there, she was just under the coffee table where she KNEW we couldn't see her.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


4.  As long as i am bitching about the dog, she is actually on a streak of terror eating EVERYTHING this week!  I don't know how she even passed puppy class!  I am pretty sure he just didn't want to deal with her anymore.  She doesn't even chew things anymore, she just unhinges her jaw and swallows shit whole like a freaking cobra.  I have seen her shot gun a sheet of dryer lint with a chaser of burnt salmon skin.  The only thing she won't eat?  Her overpriced organic dog food.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


5. I got a call yesterday afternoon around 3 saying i had to call girl and the goat by noon to confirm our reservations or they would give them away.  WTF????  Then when i tried to call back, i could only get a pre-recorded message.  I went in there ready to karate chop a hostess, but it turns out our table was ready and waiting, and the food was AMAZING!

I am so depressed i can't eat like that every night....
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


6.  Without really consulting me, Matt decided to purchase himself a new car.  And not just any car, a VW gti - which i warned him is asking for trouble when you live in the city and park on the street.  Low and behold, the lady who lives across the street and apparently is blind whenever she gets behind the wheel backed into his car and shattered the VW emblem thing on the front.  

We saw her hit another car the next day (seriously, worst driver ever) and he ended up approaching her.  She was very nice about it and is actually going to pay for the damage which is nice.  We are still terrified to park anywhere near her though.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


7.  I finally got my photos for Sunburst!!  The only downside is that aside from having this to immortalize what is probably the happiest face i have ever made, it also immortalizes the fact that i have  let myself go a little in the midsection area.  

Chubbsfoxxx

It is so hard to admit that carboloading shouldn't last 6 weeks, and that now that the race(s) is over, i need to end my relationship with the 1000 calories of gummy candy i have been eating every day.  Its not you candy, it's me.  No - wait - its you.  It's totally you.  I know you are all crying for my struggle right now.  As you should.  My life is so hard.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


8. Obviously i am super unconcerned about my performance at 13.1 this weekend, but i did notice the near 90 temps predicted for race day.  I could careless, because this has become my destiny, but i am very concerned that everyone else will hate me for jinxing this.

Sorry guys.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


9. Game of thrones ended last weekend, and Mad Men is ending this weekend.  WTF am i going to do all summer???  I need dragons and Draper in my life to distract me from my own mediocrity!!!

DAMN YOU SUMMER AND YOUR TERRIBLE PROGRAMMING FORCING ME TO GO OUTSIDE AND ENJOY THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


10. Speaking of summer, you know what i hate?  Summer.  I don't eat grilled meat, i can't swim, i can't be in the sun without spf 50, i don't tan, i suck at sports, and the feeling of sand on my feet makes me angry.  I suppose i could make this summer the summer that i learn how to swim, but with the advancements in arm-floatie technology, i find it completely unnecessary.  The only part of summer i like is summer drinks, so i am going to do my best to get by the next few months in a whirlwind of margaritas and questionable outdoor drinking.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

The aftermath, and next steps.

The Aftermath

Now that i have had a couple days to recover from my second marathon, here's how i'm feeling.

I took the past two days to rest, but i already feel antsy to go running.  I miss it, especially when it's beautiful out.

I'm so hungry that it's terrifying.  There is just never enough food.  Ever.  

I have some lingering foot pain and numbness.  It's not unbearable by any means, but i don't just want to ignore it either.  The surfaces at Sunburst were less than ideal, and my feet are paying the price.  Lefty has a sore spot in between the heel and the arch, and righty has been numb in the big toe.

I am NOT in racing condition for this weekend.  If i hadn't paid WAY too much for 13.1, i would just skip it, but instead i am just going to run it very slow and comfortable, and bow out if at point i feel that i'm struggling.  This race means nothing to me, i am only going to see everyone anyway, so if i need to cheer people on from the sidelines, so be it.  

I am super pumped for Summer marathon training, which technically started Saturday.  While i was running a marathon.

Moving Forward.

Some things i need to work on this summer for my next marathon:

I need to get better about carrying water with me, especially during races.  I have still not mastered hydration.

I vow to run at least one run a week at peak heat.  Its going to take me a long time to adjust to it, but i don't really have a choice.  

Strength training.  It must happen.  

Attend the CARA speed training at least twice a month.  

I need to stop sugar coating ALL my runs with friends, music, and beautiful scenery.  I need at least one "mentally hard" run a week.  Somewhere ugly and lonely. 

I need to eat better.  The last month has been a nightmare.  A tasty, tostito nightmare.  

I need to work on my endurance.  I really started to struggle in the last 4 miles.  While training for Chicago, i would like to have at least one training run that is 22-24 miles. 

Thinking positive thoughts.  For some reason, around mile 23-ish, i just become a bitter and angry person. I become very self-defeating, and that's just not cool.  I need to learn to push through the dark spots and stay positive!

Weekend Winning.

This was a really great weekend for me.  Other than my sweet, sweet revenge on marathoning, i had these  "winning" experiences to make my weekend one of the best ever!


1. Guess who is now a puppy school graduate!

Obviously, Waffles is thrilled.  This photo is actually a little misleading - Waffles really loved puppy class because she loves being around dogs, people, and aisles full of toys.  She just loathes being forced into little hats, and other comical accessories.  

I seriously hate you guys.

2.  I now own this amazing mid-century modern starburst clock.

My last roommate Jessica had a clock like this, and i loved it and have wanted one ever since.  Our clock guy (Yes, we have a clock guy) Had this one and thought of us!  I am now one step closer to making my apartment look like the set of Madmen.


3.  Months ago (literally) i made reservations for Matt and I for The Girl and the Goat.  (Its a super hard to get into restaurant that i have been dying to try.) At the time, i thought i would make the reservations for a post-marathon celebratory dinner.  Only it was already mid March, so they had no openings until June.  So i just made the reservation for June 5th instead.  Little did i know i would have just run a revenge marathon!  Meant to be!

4.  We had to stop and Target for a couple things, and while there, i saw a line of packaging I designed!  I was the lead designer on the project, and saw it the whole way through!  Of course my vision was destroyed somewhere between here and China, but nearly as much as normal!

It's like validation for the past two years at my job!




All in all, i had a great weekend, and i am definitely looking forward to summer.  Did you have any amazing successes this weekend??

Revenge!

A lot of you might have already guessed or seen on facebook, dailymile, or Maggie's blog), but i ran a top secret revenge marathon yesterday!!


What planning goes into a revenge marathon, you ask?  Surprisingly, not much.


The outpouring of support after the fiasco the was the Rockford Marathon was amazing, but i was still feeling bitter about it.  I wasn't so much sad that i didn't get the time i wanted, but more sad that i didn't get the finish that i wanted.  I can tell you right now - it's all about the finish.  I had been stalking Marathon Guide for potential revenge marathons.  I had three potential ones in mind.  Sunburst in IN, Eisenbahn, in WI, and Ann Arbor in MI.  All three were in driving distance, and affordable, and not sold out.  I began weather stalking all three cities.  As of thursday, the predicted high for South Bend, IN was 74 for race day, so i just went out on a limb and registered.  36 hours before the race.

Some concerns:


1.  The race is called sunburst, and the sun is my natural enemy (and the enemy of any ginger, fyi.)
2.  The race was black-flagged last year for high heat.  Could it happen again?
3.  Maggie and her husband were running this race - if i register, will it curse the race and ruin it for them??
4. I was registered for the Cosley Zoo 10k the same morning!
5.  I have been making up for all the drinks i skipped training for Rockford.  Hell, the night i signed up for the race, i went out drinking!
6. Rockford was only 13 days ago....is my body really recovered?
7. Notre Dame??  I'm a Boilermaker!


Some Pros:
1.  The race starts at 6am EASTERN time.  That is like 5am Chicago time.  Even if it does get hot, i will be deep into the race by then.
2.  It was pretty cheap.  $75 for last minute registration?  Thats not bad.
3.  It was the closest of the three races.
4.  My friend Jordan said he would run the Cosley 10k in my place with Matt.
5.  Having black flagged last year, you better believe they were prepared for anything.  24 water stations on the course!  That is 2-4. Yep. (Take some freaking notes, Rockford)
6. No one had to know.  If i failed again, which was totally a possibility, i could just not tell anyone.  And if only Maggie knew, she would have to be my secret keeper according to the universal ginger law.


So i did it.  I signed up on Thursday, Ate as much as i could squeeze in Friday morning, went to work, went home and packed my race bag/picked out an outfit, and went to Waffles puppy graduation (separate post to follow) And was in bed by 10pm so that i could wake up at 2am to drive to South Bend.
For anyone else planning to ever do this race, just get a hotel room.  Seriously, 2am i unpleasant.
It's funny, because i actually have the draft email i wrote to send Maggie to apologize in advance if i cursed Sunburst by registering.  But i chickened out in sending it, because i really didnt want anyone to know what a potentially stupid thing i was doing. And literally, only Matt knew, because he was my emergency contact.  But then as i was walking to the start line, i saw Maggie!

As much as i was planning on lone-wolfing this race, i was so excited to see a familiar face.  It just gave me an overwhelming sense of calm, and i went into the race feeling confident.  This race was just for me, and i could do whatever i wanted.  


Sorry i have no pictures other than the one Maggie took.  It's the one downfall of sneaking away in the middle of the night to run a marathon where you know nobody.


The course at Sunburst was prettier than rockford, but surprisingly similar in that it went through neighborhoods.  The first half was quiet.  The marathoners started by themselves, and there was only maybe 450-500 people.  And it was so early that most of the people in the neighborhoods were still asleep.  Although i swear i saw a few people doing the walk of shame.  It was cool and breezy, the sun was low, and it was just very peaceful.  I had to laugh at the amount of water stations.  I would barely finish one cup before i was at the next one, but it was really nice not having to worry about where or when i would get water again.  The first half of the race was shady and wonderful, the second half was a lot sunnier, but not terrible.  Around mile 16 was when i started to feel kind of tired and lonely.  I took another gel, put on my headphones, and started following this guy wearing those shoe sock things.  (barefoot guy and i actually switched back and forth throughout the rest of the race)


Things definitely unravelled a bit in the second half of the race.  I started to get warm (nothing too crazy though - i think it was more just being in the sun) and my knees started to hurt.  Not "hey, i'm injured hurt" but more of a "do you realize you have 600 miles on these shoes and wearing them because they were pink was a bad choice" hurt.  I tried to take one last gu at 21, but i just couldn't stomach the taste.  (strawberry banana - eeewwww!)  I also only had gatorade only once on the course, and instead took a salt pill every 90 minutes to help with electrolytes.  I think this was a lot easier on my stomach.


The last few miles were really, really hard.  They felt acceptably hard though.  Like, this is what a marathon is - you coast until 22, and then you really need to dig deep to finish.  The last 6 miles i walked through every water stop, which hurt my time.  I was really thirsty though, and i am glad i made the time to drink entire cups of water.  At mile 23, i was overwhelmed by loneliness.  I just wanted someone to encourage me.  That was probably the hardest part for me.  In the future, i will stage people at mile 22-23 to give me a boost.  I also had a revelation that i could start walking at that point, and still blow my Rockford time away.  It was really hard to push that thought away and keep running.  I just kept following barefoot guy.  Then i started to see lots of people at 25, and everyone was like "you're so close!" I was so overwhelmed with relief when i entered the stadium and saw that finish.  They even shouted my name as i crossed the finish line! And then it hit me.  I did it.  I was done.  And i could tell people, because i didn't fail.  A stranger walked up to me, and high-fived me and said "Congrats!  Great job!" and then i lost it.  I just start crying.  And another person high-fived me.  And then i saw barefoot guy and i hugged him and said i followed him the last few miles.  (It was his first marathon!  Congrats barefoot guy!)  Then i just went on a high-five SPREE.  I was so happy to be walking around and enjoying my glory.  It was all i ever wanted!

Well i didn't qualify for Boston. (Duh.)  But i feel like i finished in a reasonable time for my training.  I think i could have done a little better if i would have had fresh legs, and based on my experience - I have a lot of things i plan on working on this summer.  But i finished.  And i beat Oprah.  And i qualify for Marathon Maniacs now!

I will eventually have pictures to add (maybe....it's brightroom....), but right now i am very sore, and tired!  writing this post has exhausted me, and i think i might take a nap! :)

This is the first moment where i can confidently say that i am a (slow!) Marathoner!!

Keepin it real.

First and foremost:


Come do yoga with me this weekend!  On Sunday, my favorite yoga studio, Tula Yoga, is doing a donation class at 5pm, and all the proceeds are going to Huntington's Disease!  Come watch me sit in childs pose in a hot room for an hour.

RSVP here, or don't, and just show up and surprise me - i'll be in the back.  In childs pose.




Now, for the serious stuff.


I have gotten a lot of flack for making light of the zombie incident in Miami, and i just want to let people know, i am not joking around about zombies.  Zombies are a real and serious threat, and i don't joke around about it.  


Here are a few fun facts - ways i am currently preparing for what is obviously an inevitable large scale zombie attack.


1. Remember that Machete i got for Christmas?  (and you all laughed...)

It had been hanging out in the hatch of my car, but since i am officially raising the zombie attack threat level from yellow to red, it has been moved up to the back seat for easy access.


2. I can barely fit my cell phone in my purse....

But i can fit a multi-use pocket knife, bandaids, and aspirin.  And gum.  Woe be the soul caught in zombie apocalypse without gum.


3. I am making sure to text this guy everyday.  

Do you have a zombie survival plan with anyone?  My brother and i have had this plan for years.  It also includes my friend Ashley, but she is currently in Europe, making it very hard to get to her in the even of a full scale zombie outbreak.  My brother is a collector of weaponry, and damn good shot in my opinion.  My goal is to get to him, and then pool our resources.  I am the "brains" of this duo.  


4. Carbo-loading.

You think a marathon is hard?  There is no finish line when being chased by zombies.  You just. keep. running.  Better make sure you are properly fueled.


5.  Food hoarding.

Sure, the bags of rice were on sale so it was a financially wise purchase, but my cabinets are currently packed with 15 lbs of Trader Joe's brown rice.  Because its delicious, and an excellent choice for sustained nutrition should i need to barricade myself in my apartment.  We also have a 40lb bag of puppy chow. (For the dog, obviously)  We are set.


6.  Rations deposits.
There is no telling when the zombie apocalypse will reach chicago.  I could be at work, or stuck in traffic, or at home, or walking the dog, or at a bar.  Thats why i am taking great lengths to make sure i am surrounded by food at ALL times.  I have a snack drawer at work, multiple bags of chex mix in my car, and sometimes i grab a clif bar just to go walk the dog. The only problem is, i keep eating all my snacks and depleting the rations...

7. Meticulous scanning of reputable periodicals for clues.  Remember in Men in Black, when "K" said he got all his leads from tabloid covers?  

Just sayin.


8.  When i was little, my dad taught me shoot a bow and arrow.  I wasn't very good then, and am probably even worse now....but it is definitely time to brush up, because if i learned anything from the walking dead, it's be the guy with the arrows. 

It is the single most efficient way to kill zombies.  And to hunt as well.  I figure at some point, my brown rice hoard will run out, and i will be forced to hunt to survive.  I will also need to convince myself to eat deer, as last i checked, free-range frozen yogurt cups were no longer found in the wild.....

FWP, FTW!

1.  I. warned. All of you.

But seriously, did you watch the video of this?  It only shows their feet, but i can already tell you, that guy is a god damn zombie.  And i sure hope they are watching that poor homeless man that was half eaten like a hawk, because we all know how this is going to end up.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


2.  So my desk at work faces this big beautiful courtyard, with huge glass windows.  The only downside is that birds keep kamikazeing themselves into the window.  We all like to eat, and have meetings in this space sometimes, and like to do so without walking over a dozen bird carcasses, so we started putting all the bird bodies into an empty planter, like a little bird mass grave.  Only last week, they hired a landscaping crew to come plant flowers.

I'm so sorry dude.  I swear, we're not psychopaths.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS


3.  I decided to treat myself to some delicious ice cream - 

I'm not one to really concern myself with serving sizes, because even though this has always been 4 servings, who are we kidding? I'm going to eat the whole damn thing, and it's going to be amazing.  Until i noticed this:

3.5 servings???
Since when did they start screwing me out of 2 oz of tasty frozen goodness??  When i want to eat 1,400 calories, i want to eat 1,400 calories!!


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


4.  While dining al fresco last night, i somehow managed to skewer a bumble bee with my fork on accident while instinctually trying to bat him away.  Seriously.  He was big too, and it was disgusting and horrifying.  I would have taken a picture, but i was too busy freaking the hell out.  So here is a reenactment.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


5.  Then when we got back from Detroit this weekend, Waffles was so sick of being in the car that she was being a needy little pup, and decided that she needed to be in my lap every waking moment of the day.

Oh yes, she laid there the entire time.

Every. waking. moment.  
How does an African hunting dog become such a lap puppy?


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


6.  So Matt planted some herbs for our balcony, only a family of birds has decided to take residence out there, and has been picking off our herbs, one by one!

I seriously hate birds so freaking much.  


FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.


7. To try and protect the few remaining herbs, i put a laundry basket over the planters so that the birds couldn't get to my plants.  Only instead, they POOPED ON MY LAUNDRY BASKET!!!!

ARGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
This means WAR!!!


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


8. I ordered two pairs of shoes to try out, so that i could see which felt better for running.  Only they are both so cute, that in order to spare hurt feelings, i must now keep both of them.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


9.  I have celebrated 28 Memorial days.

And i still don't own a set of corn on the cob holders.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


10.  I was being tailed by this guy on my way to work the other morning.

Thats the google street view car!  now my car will be immortalized.  Covered in dirt.  Sitting on the parking lot that is the Kennedy Expressway.  Sometimes it feels like i will be stuck in traffic forever.  But now, it's really true.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

Photo challenge number, idk, 4? 5?

My ability to count has escaped me. 


So this weeks challenge from Maggie was about your favorite "seen on my run" photo.  Only i never bring my camera with me.  I just don't like to carry stuff when i run.  So, since i actually have a career where i draw stuff all day, i thought maybe i could use my artistic license to recreate a scene.  I have seen some pretty neat things when i run.  I saw a crawfish once.  And a skunk.  And about 30 obese raccoons. And once even a perfectly intact grilled cheese sandwich.  But i think my favorite sighting is a reoccurring one on the North Branch trail.  There's this guy.  I think he is some kind of bird photographer.  I see him on the trail maybe 70% of the time?  So he has to be out there multiple days a week.  He has a badass walking stick, a super nice SLR camera with a giant zoom lens, and sometimes binoculars.  He has an awesome straw hat, and a handlebar mustache.  

No, Seriously, i draw things for a living.

Even if i had a camera with me, it would probably be very inappropriate to take a picture of a stranger, so this very accurate drawing of him will have to suffice.  If you think i am lying, Keren can back me up, because she has also witnessed the awesomeness that is this guy.  SO, if you are ever running in the evenings near skokie lagoons, keep your eyes open for him, he is my favorite thing to see on the North Branch Trail!