A damn good shot.

This past saturday, after my 18 mile run, rather than this:

like i normally do, i decided to check out Archery Bow Range Chicago.  

This actually not my first time to the range - my dad used to take me to the plug and pellet back in Rockford.  However, they didn't have any bows small or light enough back then, so i kinda sucked big time.  My little 10 year old arms just couldn't handle an adult bow.  I learned on a recurve bow when i was little, because thats what my dad had.  It was lighter, but also harder to draw.  

At ABR, i took an introductory clinic, because it had been such a long time.  I was a little worried it would be a herd of teenage girls hoping to be like Katniss, but i was really impressed with the diverse group they had.  Old, young, there was even a little 10 year old girl!  They suited me up with a compound bow which has little wheels, which makes it heavier, but much easier draw (i.e., easier to aim and shoot).

Just like when i was little, i have impeccable aim, but i tend to flinch when i fire the bow.  When you draw, your hand rests on your face, and i kept thinking i was going to graze my face, which is impossible.  So i either get bullseyes, or the arrow comes flipping back at everyone.  Luckily, our first lesson was bow safety, so even with my wild shots, we were all safe

Not my target.  mine usually consisted of two bullseyes, and one on the floor, perilously close to another archer.

I had a great time.  The introductory class was 90 minutes, and $25.  They provide all the gear, and make sure to fit you with a bow that will work well for you.  They usually have introductory classes on saturdays, and maybe on weekday, but the schedule changes, so make sure to look in advance.  Now that i went through the intro course, i can go to the range at any time and practice, so if anyone wants to shoot, call me!

*I enjoyed the class so much, i signed up Matt and I for a couples archery night next month.  Vwa ha ha!

Lacing up the skates again.

You may or may not know, but when i was in grad school, i joined the local roller derby, the Lafayette Brawlin Dolls.  Not because i was a great skater - sadly, the only thing i am worse at then running is skating.  I did it because i was lonely and i wasn't coping with the stress of grad school very well.  It was one of the smartest moves i ever made, because those ladies completely embraced me, regardless of my suck level, and gave me a space to unload all the stress and sadness.  By repeatedly slamming into the floor of a local junior high basketball court.  

Obviously, towards the end of school, i had to take a leave for my 20 hour work days as i finished my thesis.  Then the day i graduated, i moved back to Chicago.  Chicago has its own derby league, the Windy City Rollers, but those bitches are hardcore.  They are professional athletes and i don't think i will ever be able to make a commitment like that.  Also, it was seriously hard on my knees.

2009 bruises.

But bruises aside, i miss it.  It was an amazing stress reducer, and a huge confidence boost.  I don't think i would who i am today (an out of shape, snarky drunk, obviously) without those derby days.  So, while i still can't commit the amount of time it would take to play on a league, i have committed to Derby Lite!  

Derby Lite is a series of derby courses led by retired derby gals.  It caters to people who have never skated, all the way up to people looking to join a smaller suburban league.  I am doing the beginner class (the oak park one!), because i have a friend who convinced me to sign up.  Its 10 weeks, with a once a week practice, and the focus is more on skills and strength training rather than knocking people over.  I am so excited to skate again!  The ladies have been in a box in the closet collecting dust!

I can't speak to the Derby Lite classes (yet) as they don't start until next month.  But for me, joining a roller derby was a huge character builder that gave me confidence.  If you have ever wanted to be involved with a roller derby, but were scared because you have never skated before, i highly encourage you check this out.

Time to embrace your inner BAMF.  or at very least, your inner 5th grader going to a co-ed birthday party.  

In case you were all wondering, yes my derby name was/is gingerfoxxx.  Branding, people!

Holy crap, strength training is hard.

As a part of my attempt to fully commit to marathon training, i am forcing myself to do strength training.  Or something like it at least.  A couple people i work with have at various points attempted to do P90x in our basement gym.  It usually fizzles out due to work pressures, but they have recommitted fot the new year and dragged me down with them talked me into it.

Obviously, i can't fully commit to the p90x schedule because it involves working out 6 days a week, and i can't do that AND keep up with marathon training (and my job, and my life).  But, i am going to try to do it a couple times a week, and hey - how bad can it be, right?

OMFG, IT'S SO HARD!!!!!!

Seriously, let's casually do 30 push-ups in a minute?  followed by 30 more in an even harder positing?  And then lets do it with our feet on chair?  IN WHAT WORLD, P90X?????

We played the dvd on a laptop, because we are SO classy.

And then, when your body is about to break, lets do the whole damn thing ONE MORE TIME!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, i knocked out about 5 solid push-ups, and spent the rest of the time on the floor in the fetal position, whimpering, and rolling around because my noodle arms no longer functioned enough to pick myself up.

I can't even explain how bad it had to be for me to be laying on that disgusting carpeted floor.  I snapped this photo, but i was actually trying to dial 9-1-1.

I woke up this morning and i felt like I was in some kind of horrific accident.  And i am fairly certain i bruised a rib.  How does one bruise a rib during an arm work out, you ask?  Probably by rolling around on the floor crying like a giant baby.

Needless to say, this crap is really, really hard.  But, the fact that i ran four marathons last year and can't do 5 push-ups kind of makes me look like a jack-ass, and i am committed to changing that.  Some day, 10 push-ups, SOME DAY!!!

In all seriousness though, it's fun to do with other people around.  I would have some serious motivation issues if i was trying to do this all by myself.  The video is cheesy, and laughing about it with your friends makes this torture video almost enjoyable. 

<3 Bustedfoxxx

Recovering - LIKE A BOSS!

The one thing that kind of sucks with most training programs is that they prepare you for (almost) every scenario that occurs on race day, but they don't prepare you for the horrors that occur the week after.

I'm just kidding, there really aren't any horrors.  It's normal to feel run down and need more sleep (your body has to fix all that damage that YOU did to it!) but to be honest, everyone reacts differently.  In fact the same person might react differently to different races!  I know Hal Higdon calls this week "Zero week" and stresses rest-rest-rest!  And who am i to disagree with Hal??  Some people like to go for a shake out run the very next day.  Thats cool and all, but no one is expecting you to do that.  I take a minimum of two days off from running and strength-training (haha, we all know i never do strength-training...).  And thats if i am feeling perfect.  I do like to walk around though especially with waffles, who pulls me along and does most of the work.  

So what does my zero week look like you ask?  (ok, no one asked.)

PROTEIN! Normally, because i don't eat a lot of animal by-products, i tend to have a low protein/high carb diet.  It's what comes naturally to me.  I know its not the natural thing to do, but i rely heavily on on protein rich nutrition drinks/supplements after a marathon.  

SALT!  You would think by now i have the hydration thing mastered.  I don't.  I ended up with a terrible side stitch, and was so loopy after the race that i realized i was extremely dehydrated.  I think i did ok drinking on race day, but i did a terrible job drinking water all last week.  I am snacking on olives, which are salty and high in unsaturated fat.  And so delicious.

SNACKS!  Sadly, marathons mess with my tummy a bit.  I usually can't eat a large feast of a meal for a couple days.  Which sucks, because after running 26 miles, i want to be able to conquer an entire pizza.  I can't though (without getting sick at least) So i have literally been eating small and bland things every 2 hours.  Luckily, at my job i can sit at my desk eating all day with minimal judgement.

EPSOM SALT! I really wish i would have bought a massage like three months ago.  I didn't though.  grrrr.  Instead i have been soaking in epsom salt and foam rolling.  It's actually quite nice!  (although i totally smell like epsom salt now.  And that smell just will not wash off!

SLEEP!  Actually, i am still not getting quite as much sleep as i want.  I want a lot though.  And i have not alot going on this weekend, so i am SO sleeping in.  It shall be glorious.

VITAMIN C!  I get the sniffles after every marathon, and even after some of my harder half marathons.  It's basically a karate chop to the immune system.  I like the emergen-C mixes.  I don't know if they really help though, i just sneezed like four times in a row.

RELAX!  Seriously.  I just ran a marathon. If you need me, i will be on the couch in sweat pants after work everyday, with a fleece blanket and a dog in my lap.  And i will be watching brainless trashy reality tv.  My mind needs a little break too!  Aside from walking to keep everything from stiffening up, don't expect much from me this week!

I hope everyone is taking it easy this week.  I am already getting the "itch" to get back to training to try and sneak some in before Dublin.  Truth is, nothing i do between now and then will help me.  But a lot could definitely hurt me.  My main goal is to get there as rested as possible so i can bring my A game.  It's in here somewhere....

A journey through the 9 circles of hell.

All of which reside in IKEA.

This is the epic story of the time Matt and i decided to buy a hanging lamp for the living room.

Circle one-  The parking lot. This isn't so bad!  Matt bought me frozen yogurt in hopes that the sugar high would prevent me from having a panic attack.  As i chow down, i hardly even notice the minivan sitting in oncoming traffic trying to make a left turn onto a one way street going the opposite direction.  Hordes of people careen towards my car on winged monkeys that resemble carts, but thats ok, i have half a dozen different toppings to focus on.

Circle two - The revolving door.  My yogurt treat is gone, but the sugar high remains.  Until we get to the door.  How do so many people not know how to use a revolving door??  Why is your kid pushing it in the wrong direction??  WTF is going on in the front lobby?  Obviously, there must be a reason everyone has collected here around a fake kitchen.  Based on the overpowering cinnamon roll smell, i can only assume that some kind of pastry bomb has been detonated, forcing everyone to evacuate into this tiny area.

Circle three - Floor one.  NOPE!  That was only the tip of the iceberg.  There are even thicker crowds of people than were in the entryway.  They start crashing their carts into me, attacking from all sides.  I think, this is what the life of a pinball must be - and i am saddened.  I give Matt the look that says "I am already over this."  He promises me a lingonberry soda if we can just persevere to the third floor.  

Circle four - Lamp island.  I know a lot about architecture, but i still cannot fathom how lamp island is even possible.  We find ourselves in the lighting area, only somehow, there is no exit. I run to each side only to be met with a siderail and a 60 ft drop to the bottom level.  How is that even possible??  It's like MC esher meets Hogwarts meets everything that pisses me off in this world.  I start running to all sides in an increasing state of panic looking for an exit; alas there is none.  I am know condemned to live the remainder of my sad life on lamp island.....

Circle five - The food court.  Matt leaves me with a lampshade i have befriended named fruzenschlag.  Just as we began to accept our new life as comrades, Matt returns.  He has found a secret hall way that leads to the food court.  There is no official entrance to the gated off food court, but we are able to jump the metal gate, and i am face to face with my beloved savior, lingonberry soda.   Only their are no cups.  Apparently, you can only dine in here.  There is a second food court on the bottom level.  Part of me dies.

Circle six-  Furniture.  I don't know how we got here - we don't want to buy furniture.  There are screaming children everywhere, and the couches and beds are filled with the fallen.  To my right, a soon to be ex-couple next to me screams at each other over spending $500 on a futon, to my left, a child is repeatedly slamming a cabinet door on a storage end table while his mother stares into space, obviously contemplating ending it all with one of those tiny golf pencils that are everywhere.  I look to Matt with tears in my eyes and say, "we're going to die here."  He painfully nods, and we walk on.

Circle seven - Lamp Island.  AGAIN.  Dear God, NO!!  How did we end up here again?!?!?  It's like some kind of funhouse horror movie!!!  I peer over the edge and spot mattress two floors beneath me.  Matt immediately sees them too and acknowledges what i am planning.  "Don't jump." he says.  "At least i will die knowing i tried to get out of here!" i shout as i point to dusty skeletons littering the floor of lamp island.  (perhaps they were just more lamps; we were both hallucinating at this point.)  "You won't die if you jump, you'll just embarrass us." he replies.  Touche.

Circle eight - The area with all the kids crap.  We miraculously escape lamp island a second time, only to enter the one area more terrifying than lamp island and the food court combined - That area with all the kids crap.  By this point, i am crying and humming the theme to rocky;  Matt shields me with one arm, and uses the other to shove people aside.  It's like watching the bodyguard, only it's not awesome at all.  I clutch the lamp that i no longer even want to my chest.  Everything starts to go dark.

Circle nine (the innermost circle) - The checkout area.  As we enter the finishing chute, i spot the lingonberry soda machine, and it triggers an adrenaline fueled counter attack.  I charge for the express check out lane, using my stupid plastic lamp as a battering ram;  My hair is disheveled, my clothes torn. Everything is in slow motion as chariots of fire starts to play;  I jump over a six year old, i zig left past an overwhelmed grandmother, and zag right plast a herd of college dorm bound teenagers.  I use the little strength i have left in the final sprint, clutching the lamp i now hate more than life itself, as well as a 100 pack of tea lights, because they are SO dang cheap!  And some flower pots.  And a drying rack.  DAMN YOU IKEA!  I limp to the soda dispenser and get my drink, savoring the lingonberry goodness as a mixture of sweat and tears runs down my face.

As we walk outside into the approaching storm, i breath in my first breath of freedom.  I turn to Matt, and i gasp, "we made it"  And he looks back at me and says, "we forgot the lightbulbs...."

This clip of Charlton Heston at the end of planet of the apes basically sums it up if you need a visual.