Wednesday, February 29, 2012

First world problems.

First and foremost:

1. Comment HERE to be entered to win a sampler pack of Artisana nut butters.  A life with out a variety of free organic nut butters is a first world problem that just should NOT BE.

2.  Gas prices.  I got in a fight with Matt last night because i ended up adding an extra 40 miles to my already 40 mile commute, and was pissed about the cost of gas.  His argument is that $4.00 gas is nothing to complain about, only when the gas prices reach $4.50 can we complain.  WHAT?

3. Rather than figure out a possible alternative, like carpooling with coworkers, or trying to figure out a way to take the train, i am just going to use all my energies to bitch about gas prices.


4.  Kelsey, Keren and I went to the chicks night run last night, and then refueled with margaritas.  However, they totally skimped us on the salt rim.  As distance runners, we need extra salt on the rims of our margaritas, not less.  NOT LESS!

5.  Our internet went out for about 10 minutes last night, and i seriously flipped out because i couldn't log my miles into daily mile.  I seriously freaked out.  It's like if i don't log them in 30 minutes, they didn't happen, and then i would have to do them all over again.


6.  My tom's came last night, but i was too late.  TOO LATE!!!


7.  Because i have a job i have to actually go to work.  And work.  and it prevents me from spending 8 hours a day watching this baby polar bear web cam, and that is just not fair.  

8.  Parking.

9. Apparently there was a power outage for parts of the north side last night.  My coworker was telling me that his neighbor was unable to get the car out of the garage as a result.  Luckily, they had a second car that they keep parked on the street for such emergencies.


10.  The good pillow.  I have an extra nice pillow for myself, but Matt keeps stealing it at night.  He gets all close to me like we are snuggling, and then slowly moves away, taking the pillow with him.  This must stop.  The pillow is MINE!

11.  Everyone is raving about how Paula Deen has slimmed down.  She still professes her love for butter and hatred for anything reasonable.  I personally don't think she looks all that slim, and all that butter has gone straight to her face, because she is looking old and haggard lately.  Stop thinking you're so great Paula Deen...

Thats all for now, folks!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Free stuff for YOU!

The amazing folks at Artisana have been kind enough to offer a full variety pack of all their delicious single serve nut butters to one lucky reader!

All these tasty treats, for your very own!!

The lucky guy or gal will get all these single serves, as well as one full jar of one the flavors.  That's a whole lot of free and delicious organic food.  Just be warned, i might hunt you down and eat them all when you are not looking.

All you have to do to enter is tell me:

What time of day do you really need a snack??  For me, its in the car after work sitting in traffic...the hunger just hits me.  Like a brick.

Bonus entries if you like Artisana on facebook HERE.
(Just leave me a comment letting me know ya liked them!)

I will choose the winner at random Friday morning, so make sure to take advantage!!

In and around my face.

Finally, someone has answered my never ending cries of hunger.  I have made it well known that i have been struggling in an epic way with marathon nutrition.  I love to cook, but my recipes have always hung out in the low fat/meat free range.  Which is fine, but doesn't really supply the fat and protein required for 15 mile runs.  

Since i don't eat red meat, and only rarely eat poultry, AND have to limit dairy because of tummy problems, everyday becomes a battle to consume healthy fats and proteins, and not just load up on quick burning carbs.  

Artisana makes every kind of nut butter available:
I'm going to be perfectly honest, i ate an entire jar of cacao bliss this weekend.  Its a cocoa/coconut butter, and its basically heaven in your mouth.  I normally dislike chocolate, but this is a nice balance of coconut, and mildly sweet chocolate (none of that milk chocolate crap)  I am sure you can put it in oatmeal, or quinoa, or on bagels, or yogurt, or lots of things, but i liked just eating it with a spoon.  The only word of warning is that coconut by nature is high in saturated fat, so you probably shouldn't eat an entire jar in one sitting.

Artisana makes all their products in little 1 serving packets too, which works much better for me!
I have been having these babies on mini pitas at work when the 3 o'clock nightmare hunger strikes, and they are totally and deliciously doing the trick.  I have a hunch that if you put this on graham crackers, it would basically rock your world.  I just need to go to the store and buy graham crackers still.  

I think i might start eating these before my long runs on the weekends.  I still love luna bars, but its just not enough, and i become violently hungry around mile 14, even with a gu....and almost all protein bars taste awful to me.  I am thinking nut butter toast is my new long run fuel!!

I was going to give away some of the samples, but i honestly have eaten almost all of them in the past few days.  They are that good.  Luckily, they are super nice, and we are in talks to have an Artisana giveaway, so that they would ship a sampler directly to your house, therefore preventing me from eating them all!!! STAY TUNED FOR THAT!

Artisana PROS.
Tastes amazing.  Seriously.  I like these way more than standard peanut butter
I LOVE the single serves.  I have a bad habit of overserving myself anything.
They're organic and kosher.  The kosher thing doesn't really matter to me, but i am always paranoid about the quality of food going into my body, and this is quality.
It is safe for people with peanut allergies, gluten intolerance, and dairy intolerance.  That is seriously awesome.

Artisana CONS.
It's not in stores yet, you have to order it :( :( :( Here are all the online retailers
My mom is totally going to take credit for this excellent eating decision, and i totally made this one on my own!

And, in running news, I really want my Shamrock Shuffle time to be around 42:00 mins.  It is seeming a little impossible right now, because it takes me a solid three miles to not hate running.  That's more than half the race where my legs will be slow, angry, and unresponsive.  So unless i want to just run the last two miles as 6 minute  miles (HA!)  I need to figure out a plan of action, and fast.  Does anyone have any good warm up routines so that they start the race ready to race?  (I am looking at YOU all you speedy 5k people, how do you run a shorter distance race??)

And lastly, it had to happen:

Monday, February 27, 2012

I've got a fever...

and it's called spring fever.

-completely grouchy that it's still cold
-wearing shorts and flip flops around the house
-looking at bikinis i could never pull off online
-dusting off all the sunglasses
-cleaned out closet to get rid of clothes that have holes (and to make room for new clothes)
-intense need to purge the apartment of anything unnecessary
-sudden awareness of how gross my feet and skin have become.

Yeah, it's full-fledged spring fever.  I just want to run around in the sun wearing only a light sweater, and no giant coat!

I can assure you though, it is definitely not spring yet.
Saturday morning i went on a lovely 15 mile stroll with my CARA group.  It went much better this week (for me anyway)  Now that i broke through that mental block, 15-16 miles doesn't seem so bad.  Although i guarantee you i will drop dead at even the thought of 18.  I just know it.  It was a chilly one Saturday morning, but mostly on account of the wind!  When the wind was blowing in your face, i felt like 10 degrees, so i brought a scarf.  However when the wind wasn't in your face, it was actually sunny and pleasant, so i overheated quickly and would have to start stripping.  I ended up taking the scarf off and wearing it as a gypsy belt for the second half of my run.  Because i am stylish.

Its so weird to see myself after 15 miles both standing AND smiling, especially after last week.  I actually thought about doing a couple more miles on my own, but this week we had two people in our tiny pace group have to quit the program because of stress fractures.  One girl even tried to run saturday and had to quit in tears. 

I am now living in constant fear of an injury, because if i had to quit now, i would be devastated.  Its a super important reminder not to push too hard, and not to over do it on mileage.  Seriously, take care of yourself first.  (i am saying this mostly because i need to hear it.)

I did actually experience my first injury of the season this week.  I was on the couch cuddling with the pup, when i had a very sudden sneeze, and i pulled a muscle in my back.  I seriously hurt my back sneezing.  Why do people even talk to me??  The silver lining of this is that it forced me to take a break, lay down, and catch up on sleep and relaxation.  I ended up watching the "Spirit of the Marathon" movie that Maggie recommended, and really like it!  It was kinda crazy to watch Deena Kastor- she is SO freaking fast.  Its hard to watch someone run so efficiently when you know that you yourself are on the bottom half of mediocre.
I also convinced Matt to take me out on a super fancy date Sunday night.  We have been in a bit of a puppy rut, and haven't been going out at all.  I am also in somewhat of a drifit rut, and have been dressing like a downright slob.  We got all fancied up and went to Sola in Lakeview.  It was DELICIOUS.  We go oysters AND scallops, so i am basically a spoiled brat.  The martini even helped me forget about my back hurting!  It was just nice to dress up, and eat a meal with out a puppy crying about the fact that she isn't sharing the meal!

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Marathon.

Well, the runk is still in place, but rather than whine, i'm going to talk about the Marathon.

I think its safe to say the marathon is the ultimate goal for most runners, and that most people reading this have either run a marathon, are training for a marathon, or someday plan on running a marathon.  

Do we all realize that the marathon race was created to honor the fatal run of pheidippides?  This dude ran all the way from the battleground (named marathon) to Athens (after which we can only assume he, ya know, fought in a battle) so that he could tell the athenians that they had defeated the persians.  
 Lets review:

1.  He fought in a war.  And just so we're clear, I'm no historian, but i am pretty sure battles were way harder back then.  No machine guns, no riot gear, no dummy robot bomb dropping planes.  People actually had to fight each other.  With hand weapons.  Have you ever engaged in hand to hand combat with someone?  I assume it's exhausting.  

2.  After the battle, he then ran as fast as he could to let Athens know they won the battle.  This brings up some valid questions, because i thought they had horses back then.  Or maybe birds that deliver messages...nevermind, that was game of thrones...either way, that was one long hard run on some tired legs.  and i am sure their weren't people handing him dixie cups of gatorade and bananas along the way.

3.  I understand that it was an important message, but did he really need to run like the wind to tell the athenians that they won?  i mean, it's not like they lost.  Couldn't they have waited a few days?  I mean they won...

4.  They guesstimate that journey to be roughly 25 miles.  So Pheidippides ran 25 miles, but then he DIED.  So what do we do?  Tack on another mile for good measure.

5.  I don't know if this is accurate but i can't help but notice that in the picture above i stole from wikipedia that Pheidippides is totally naked.  And if i know anything about wikipedia, obviously it is 100% accurate regarding greek history.  Chafing could have been and probably was a factor in his death.  That and shame.

Here is a stature of created to show his epic run, only this time they put a skirt on him, for modesty's sake.  I have a running skirt that looks just like this, only in pink.  Also, maybe if you would have left the shield behind instead of dragging it with you for 25 miles, you wouldn't have died.  Just my two cents.

There is a lot more history on the marathon, but i thought this would be a good start.  We all pay lots of money, spend lots of time training, and make ourselves crazy, but in the end we get a shiny medal for not dying, like pheidippides did.


Thursday, February 23, 2012

running guilt.

Today as i write this blog, i am supposed to be at the gym.  My plan was to get up at 6, and get in 5-6 miles.  I just couldn't get up.  Matt tried repeatedly to wake me up using many different approaches...the sweet gentle wake up....putting the dog on my head....flipping the lights on....out right yelling....nothing worked.  I'm not sick, i'm not injured, and i don't have a big meeting this morning.

I just wanted to sleep an extra hour.  And for the record, it was glorious.  I feel extra bad, because as i lounge around surfing the internet, i just saw were are supposed to get crappy weather tonight.  I should have just gotten up and gone...
I plan on running tonight instead, but forsee the run getting shortened on account of how bad my commute will be.  

I have actually been suffering a lot of runners guilt lately, if this is even a real thing.  No matter how far i run, i feel like a slacker, because there is always someone running farther.  and probably way faster too.  After every run instead of that "woohoo"  feeling, i have been feeling kind of down, like i should have tried harder, or i shouldn't have stopped.  At the same time though, i am extremely injury prone, and i know that if i push myself too hard, something will go wrong, and thats not cool either.

I think i'm just in a running funk.  Perhaps a runk?  The whole glamour of running a marathon has worn off and left the reality that i have to run a marathon, and that is super scary, no matter how many miles i run beforehand.

Sorry for being a debbie downer, this is definitely been a running crisis for me lately, especially during the week when i struggle to make an hour of free time to sneak a run in.  On the plus side, sitting around wasting time this morning has allowed me the luxury of taking artistic photos of waffles with photobooth.

In case that whole running thing doesn't work out for me, i still have this.....

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

first world problems.

1. If Jeremy Lin is the American dream, than i quit America.  What a story of overcoming hardships.  Overcoming not being drafted to the pros after your senior at Harvard.  HARVARD?  perseverance at its finest.  I'm sorry, but your a harvard grad, AND a pro basketball player?  Let's stop the lin-sanity.
If you're the underdog, then what the f*** am I????

2.  When i am driving and listening to NPR, i cant tell the difference between the weird sounds from the experimental music and people honking at me.  That and i really don't care if people are honking at me.  I drive how i want.


3.  My legs finally stopped hating me, so i went for a run last night.  Despite checking the weather repeatedly, a freak freezing rain/wind storm popped up to ruin my night.  Also, there was another god damn raccoon - only this time it charged at me.  or maybe i was just in its way.  Either way i panicked.

4.  They are changing all the air filters at work and it is making my allergies act up.  The sacrifices i have to make for clean, filtered air!


5. Marathon training hunger is officially here.  I cannot get full no matter how much i eat, and it sucks, and is causing me to lash out at people in a hunger-induced rage.  Yesterday, my coworker knew that fuddruckers was having a 5 lb burger food challenge, and went there without me, just because "i don't eat red meat"  If you ever stand in the way of me and 5lbs of food, i will attack you like a honey badger.

6.  I am hosting my book club this weekend, and have completely neglected to read the book.  Now i either have to read the whole thing on Saturday, or watch the movie with Scarlett Johansson.
I don't know which is worse.

***not that it matters, we are just going to drink champagne and talk about celebrities anyway....

7.  Because i am such a good samaritan, i ordered these shoes:

When you buy a pair of toms, they donate a pair to the third world.  How do they reward my philanthropy?  Two weeks to ship??  ARGHHHHH!


8.  I think Chicago has had more alcohol induced '"driving the wrong way on the highway" crashes than the rest of the country combined.  Are we bad drivers, or just refusing to conform to oppression of traffic control regime?

9.  I wrote down a few first world problems at work yesterday, but i usually don't schlep in until 9, so now i can't complete the first world problems until then.


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Bad Calls

A word of advice-  Don't drink sparkling water before a run.
I had this baby around 4'o'clock in the afternoon, because i was thirsty, and sick of water, and craving a soda (which we don't have because of the health initiative.)

Little did i know, this was one of the dumbest things i have ever done.  (and if you read my blog, you know i do a LOT of dumb things!).  Sadly, i am not one of those people who can belch on command, so all that carbonation sat in my belly like a rock.  It was like running while pregnant with bubbles.  All that air was pushing on my diaphragm and just annoying me in general.  I ended up running four miles, and saying screw this, i am going to take lame pictures of myself instead.

So at least the night wasn't a total waste.

And in other news, IT'S FAT TUESDAY!!  Do you have any plans?  Traditions?  Going to eat some King's Cake??  Last year for Mardi Gras, i went to St. Louis to party is up with my friends Maya and my wolfpack, Ashley and Stacy.  FYI - St. Louis has the biggest Mardi Gras festival outside of New Orleans. The parade was awesome, and i got a ton of beads,  (and no, you don't really need to show any boobies for beads, its a family friendly affair (with booze.)  (and it was 30 degrees last year anyway!!)
This year, my big Fat Tuesday plans include a sandwich i made for lunch, as well as a run after work.  (MAN, i know how to party!!)  Maybe if i get really crazy, i will get some frozen yogurt after my run.  And sit around eating it while wearing Mardi Gras beads.

Correct me if i'm wrong (because i usually am) but i think fat tuesday is the last day before lent starts.  Catholics use lent as a time of fasting and reflection, and usually give up something to reflect on sacrifices.  Thats about all i can remember - i was actually raised in an athiest/wiccan household, so outside of solstices and equinoxes, holidays other than my birthday confuse me.  As an outsider, i like the idea of lent.  Sometimes i think we take for granted how much we have.  Like a cabinet full of discounted candy.  I am debating giving up candy for lent, but man, i will be so cranky for the next six weeks.  Here i go again with my lofty unattainable goals.  But i don't have to deal with that nonsense until tomorrow.  Today, I FEAST!

Monday, February 20, 2012


Have you ever been in a store and had some one noticeably judge you based on your purchase? Well, i did on friday night.  

I stopped off at the grocery store looking for a few staples.  In my world, there are really only four food groups.  Vodka, Olives, Cheese, and Baguette.  Any other food is just par for the course.  (whatever that means, i have never golfed...)  
If i were to choose a last meal, i would stuff the cheese in the olives, drop the olives in the vodka, and eat the baguette as an accoutrement.  In fact, why wait for a last meal - thats what i did Friday.  And maybe Saturday too....

While i was purchasing these staples of life, i also noticed that valentine's day candy was 50% off.  That's an awesome deal!! I like to think of myself as more of an opportunist than a binge eater.  Buy candy at 50% just makes sense.  We're in a recession after all....
So, in the end, the contents of my basket were mostly candy, accompanied by vodka, cheese, olives, and bread.  And i thought nothing of this.  As i unloaded my basket on the to the conveyor thing at the check out, the woman in front of me who was being rung up looked at my items, then at me, and then she LAUGHED.  WTF LADY?  Sometimes a girl just needs to stock up on vodka and candy.  Who do you think you are?  All high and mighty, buying your eggs and salmon.  GEEZ.

Have you ever been secretly or not so secretly judged?  Or, have you been the judger?  Sometimes i give people disapproving looks when i see them order an awesome blossom at a restaurant.  I mean seriously- no good can come from eating that thing.

In other news, my legs are still kinda sore from Saturday.  I went and cross-trained for an hour, and went to hot yoga class, but they still feel TIRED!  they just don't want to move.  I even ran a sad pathetic mile yesterday just to make sure i didn't really damage anything.  The legs work fine, they are just heavy and tight feeling.  This is the first time i haven't bounced right back from a run since i first started running last summer.  Apparently, running 16 miles is no easy task.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

my super sweet sixteen.

Well, i finally broke past that thirteen mile mark.  Physically, it was tough, but mentally it was tougher.  I really wanted to throw in the towel at 14 miles and peace out.  Or lay down and nap.  If my pace leader Trisha wasn't there, i would not have finished this run.  My whole body is pretty sore right now, but the worst off by far is my feet.  They feel like they have been through some kind of a physical assault.
Its definitely the most time i have spent running on them, and they are not pleased.  After the little starburst break at mile 12, they were slightly appalled that i continued running.  They never saw it coming....sorry little guys!

I came home and i was ravenous.  All i wanted was a bloody mary, in and around my face.  As i was drinking it, i remembered that skinny runner always refuels with chocolate milk.  Too bad i hate both chocolate and milk.  Dear Mrs. T's bloody mary mix.  SPONSOR ME.  Seriously, there is nothing else i would rather drink after a long run.
I will represent you.
Despite my success today, i am in a pissy mood.  As i sit next to Matt right now, i am debating punching him in the face.  Maybe its because i am starving and it is making me emotional, or maybe its because he has been on the lazy side lately.
As soon as i hobbled up the three flights of stairs after my 16 mile run, he was like "the dog really needs to go out, can you take her?" because he had neglected to put on pants yet, and was in the middle of a game of halo.  trying. not. to. punch. him.  Hobbling back down those stairs with the dog and then standing on my razor-blade feet in the cold in my sweaty freezing clothes was extremely unpleasant.

I have more ranting to go over about racks of ribs and grocery store judgement, but i will save it for tomorrow, since it is really hard to blog and drink this (second) bloody mary...

Friday, February 17, 2012

they're hereeeee

GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In case you were wondering what I'm doing tonight......

My post today is totally coming out of no where based on a post i just read over at Princess Kelseys blog, but has to do with goals  (it's just that all my goals are celebrity related.)  

They say for your first marathon, the goal is to finish.  Don't worry about time, don't push yourself too hard, just finish the damn race.  But do we realllllly follow this?  Are people going into their first marathon (or ANY race)  with no expectations? NONE?  only to finish?  I always set some kind of goal for myself.  I only make it half of the time, but i still set the goal.  I have no fear in failure.  None.  For example, last night i wanted to run 10 miles (which is crazy for my sickly state.)  Instead, i failed and i ran 8.  But if 8 miles is failure - bring me more of that!

I believe that if i said "i'm going to run 8 miles", i would have just crapped out at 6.  I know me - this is what i do.  My top secret goal for my first marathon in May is to beat Kate Gosselin (5 hours)  Because i feel that i can, and because i seriously do not like her.  
Her face is as fake as my sincerity, and i am going to destroy her marathon time if it kills me.  Also, stop telling people you haven't had any work done.  Faces just don't unfugify themselves out of nowhere.  LIAR.

My goal for next year is to destroy George Bush's time, mostly because i just cannot believe he ran a 3:44 marathon.  That is seriously fast, and i just never guessed he had it in him.  His whole persona just does not scream "speedy distance runner".  I think its because he's from Texas...if you can survive running in Texas, you can destroy runners in almost any other state.  

Do you make goals?  Are you beating yourself?  Your friends?  Celebrities?  Ex-presidents?  Do you just want to beat me?  (because thats easy, you should really try harder...)  I always have a goal in the back of my mind, whether i admit it or not.  And i have no problem failing at it.  over.  and over.  and over.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

first world problems - round 2.

I'm still feeling a little rough, but here it goes!

1.  Because i was so sick yesterday, i just had brown rice with soy sauce for dinner.  I was depressed on how sad and lame my dinner was, until i realized that it was a normal dinner in Asia.  Why do i eat so much?


2.  This morning my co-worker taught me that if you fill your mug with hot water for a couple minutes before putting the coffee in, your coffee will stay warm longer because of heat transfer properties.  This means that physics works, and i have been drinking lukewarm coffee for 28 years unnecessarily!


3.  Unnecessary is unnecessarily hard to spell.


4.  I watch/read the news everyday, listen to NPR, and have a pretty good understanding of current world affairs, and i can NOT figure out what the problem is in Syria.  What is going on over there people???

5.  All my dreams finally came true, and i won something.  I won a sampler pack of GNU bars from Kim over at  I had the cinnamon raisin and it was AMAZING and more, but Matt ate the cranberry orange one!  It's like he's eating my DREAMS!

6.  I am so used to running all the time and snot rocketing (gross, i know, but it's better than not breathing)  That i accidentally did it when walking to my car this morning.  I am so gross and uncool.


7.  My car just reached 30,000 miles, and i was so focused on driving that i missed it and didn't get to snap a picture until 30,006.  Also, my car is at 30,000 miles....

8.  I constantly shove dog treats in my pockets and forget about them.  They recently decided to fuse together and form a mega treat:
Should i encounter a pack of vicious dogs, i am set!  or in very big trouble....


9.  I thought i might lose some weight with all this marathon training, but alas, my weight has remained the same.  Not that i need to lose weight, i just want to buy new pants and feel like its justified.

Hello, my friend.....


10.  I have this grand delusion of running the Ragnar Relay in 2013, but i just don't think i have enough friends...


11.  I just figured out the Mag Mile Runner is a double entendre, because her name in Maggie... MAN, I AM SMART!


Until next time (and maybe by next time i will have finally run a few miles.....)