I think you're in the wrong place

I woke up this morning and quickly realized that i have nothing entertaining or valuable to society to say.  So, i present you with the third installment of weird shit people googled to end up on my blog.

1.  olive with drinks  Sounds like someone has heard about the infamous "sara-tini"

2.  "lobotomized teenagers"  I would be concerned about this, if it weren't for the quotation marks.  Somehow that makes it warm and almost lovable.

3.  american watch too much tv  Busted.  :(  Can you blame me though?  Walking Dead?  Boardwalk Empire?  is a girl supposed to just NOT watch these shows???

4.  dan gibbons- dog trainer  Obviously it did not take long for someone to bust me out on Waffles' terrible leash manners during a 5k....

5.  ginger runs back and forth.  So apparently I'm not the only one doing this?

6.  how soon is meow  Apparently, they missed my tribute to meow, who sadly lost his battle with feline obesity.  You are not forgotten, Meow!

7.  junkie lindsay lohan  Hey now, lets not judge.  Who among us can say that they don't get all hopped on a Biebs concert and then catfight a bitch.  Thats not drugs, thats spirit.  And drugs.

8.  turkey running to i will survive  Yeah, i want to see this.  I want it real bad.  Man i hope they found it....

9.  will there be bloody marys at the 2012 dan gibbons turkey trot  Yes, my friend.  And they will be plentiful.

And lastly, what is possibly the best thing ever googled, let alone google-directed to my blog......

10.  raccoon standing on garbage can with cutting torch
Yes.  A million times, YES.

Friday, i love you!

I seriously did not think Friday would ever get here!

First and foremost - Make sure you go visit Kim's blog, and wish her good luck on her first 50k!!  And then swing on by Charlyn's blog to wish her good luck this weekend as she runs a boston qualifying time at fox valley!

Neither of these ladies actually needs luck - they are both amazingly talented runners, but sometimes it's nice just to hear it anyway!!

Today, i would like to bring you another installment of "Weird shit people google to randomly end up at my blog"  (Kelsey at Ready, Set, Feast gets enough weirdo's to do a post like this every Friday - and it's amazing!)

1. "indian summer" guy in gym  All i know about Indian Summers is that they piss me off, because it usually manifests itself in the form of a 90 degree day in October.  Why are you in the gym and not outside if it's an indian summer?  Or, are you in the gym when its freezing out wearing bootie shorts, wishing it was an indian summer?  I swear, if you are causing an indian summer, i will knock you right off your treadmill, american gladiator style.

2.   aspaeris pivot shorts crotch sweat   Ummmmm, eww? I don't think thats normal.  Maybe try shorts with a little more ventilation?

3.  because those goddamn zombies  Because they what?  BECAUSE THEY WHAT???

4.  god damn raccoon trailer park  Is this a trailer park made for raccoons, or a trailer park over run with them.  Either way, this one made me re-google it.  In doing so, i found this picture and it made me lol.

5.  happy you made it through accident  This HAS to be a someecard....

6.  mumps gone wild  ......i don't have words for this one...

7.  which circle of hell do gingers go to  If they are in IKEA, then all of them...

8. +"i had to pee" +"i still had to pee"  Maybe you should try peeing!

9.  feeling tired, malnourished & pissed off   Welcome home, my children, welcome home....

10.  how to run a 1:55 half marathon   Have you read my blog?  Obviously, i have no freaking clue on how to do this.  Obviously...


And lastly, my favorite:

what would happen if i just got up and ran 20 miles

you will DIE.  the end.


Happy Friday!

I love the olympics and infograms!

You all know that i just can't help myself

(click on the infograms to view them larger.  Unless you have the eyes of a sharpshooter.  In which case, why aren't you at the olympics right now??)

I couldn't have said it better myself!


PS - can you imagine eating 16 bananas a day????

funnnnnn facts!

It's here it's here it's here it's HERE!


Nope, not the olympics yet, but Monday marks the start of the 35th annual Badwater Ultramarathon!!  Badwater takes you 135 miles through the heart of Death Valley, mid-July, and eventually up Mount Whitney to finish.

Why would i, the girl who in the past has whined extensively about running a race in high temps and running a race that had mountain plopped into the middle, be attracted to what is arguably the hardest foot race on the planet??


Well, I assure you, i have NO desire to ever personally run this race.  I know that if you train hard enough and long enough, you can do anything, but every body has limits, and i know i could never safely run 135 miles in 120 degree heat.  Ever.  But MAN, if anyone ever wants me to be on their pit crew!

So what is the deal with badwater?
- It's really exclusive (you need major credentials as an ultra-marathoner to qualify, they don't want people to die on the course.  And it seems pretty easy to die on the course.
- There is usually less than 100 people running it every year
- The course is 135 miles, starting at the lowest point on the continental US, ending at the highest point.  Thats a net elevation gain of 13,000 feet.  (To put it in perspective, i start whining at 350 ft elevation gains!)
- If you think it sounds hard now, it used to be the Badwater 146.  At that time, the end was at the summit of Mt. Whitney.  The forest service put a kibosh on racing up the mountain, so the race officially ends at the Mt. Whitney Portal.  Runners are welcome to get a permit to then finish to the summit on their own.  And some still DO.
- All runners are equipped with a fully staffed support crew consisting of one, but usually two vans, and  3-6 people.  The vans will have coolers of ice, food, and full medical support in case anything happens.  

This is super fun!

- The race was started when Al Arnold up and decided to run the course.  Just because it sounded fun to him.  Because runners are bat-shit crazy, subsequent runners have done the "double-crossing" (running to the summit of mount whitney and then all the way back through death valley) And in 94, Scott weber did a triple cross.  Not to be out done, in 01 Marshall Ulrich did the "Badwater quad" Yes.  Thats four 146 mile runs back to back.  Do i have any takers for 5??
- That crazy Scott Weber was also the first person to do the Badwater Ultra with no crew.  He carried all his stuff with him.
- The record for the 146 mile course is 33 hours, 54 minutes (?!?!?!?!) and the record for the 135 mile course is 22 hours, 51 minutes (men) and 26 hours, 16 minutes (women)
- The record high in Death Valley is 134.
- The average low in July is a refreshing 90 degrees

The female record holder

- The temps in July reached 130 in 2007, 2005, and 1998.  (not good odds if you ask me!)  Although Mondays temps in Death Valley look to be a pleasant 110-115 degrees.  (The average high for July is 116)
- Your shoes melt.  Like for real.  


In recent years, badwater has started to offer live web streaming of the race.  They have camera's mounted at all the check points, so you can monitor the runners as they complete the hardest race ever thought up.  I will be checking in periodically all day Monday and Tuesday!  Chicago's own Scott Jacaway of Downers Grove will be running it again!  Check out the rest of the roster HERE.


I think the coolest thing is that some of these people have full time jobs.  To able to train for an event like this and manage a job and a family is something that i am in awe of.  You guys are awesome.  Good luck to everyone competing in the 2012 Badwater Ultramarathon!!

Friday, where have you been??

This week has seemed like the longest week ever.  Between my awful day on Wednesday, and waking up at 5 yesterday for an all day work event, i am BEAT.  I was going to wake up early this morning to get my 11 miles in before the heat of the day, but my body failed me, and now i shall have to do them after work in the broiling heat.  I am not sure why i can NOT wake up in the morning anymore!


Thank god next week is the fourth of July, so i get a day off and a chance for me to "reset" my schedule.  I can catch up on sleep, and hopefully set in place some kind of a schedule for marathon training (the past month has been chaotic, and following a schedule has been impossible!)  In honor of this glorious mid-summer retreat from the standard american 60 hour work week, i bring you some fun facts about the fourth of July.

1.  John Hancock was famously the first to sign the declaration of Independence, but did you know who was the last to sign?  Thomas McKean.  Way to suck, Thomas McKean.


2.  The 4th of July has only been a federal legal holiday since 1941!


3.  If Benny Franklin had his way, our national bird would be the Turkey instead of the Bald Eagle.  I'm sorry, but a turkey just does not look nearly as awesome in a tacky animated gif as a bald eagle does....

It doesn't have the same impact....

4.  Yankee Doodle is actually a song the british made up.  To make fun of us.  Why do we keep singing this?


5.  The national anthem is actually set to the tune of an old English drinking song called "To Anacreon in Heaven" Sung here by the Georgia Tech glee club.

See? Copyright infringement is our heritage!


6. Approximately 150 million hot dogs will be consumed on July 4th.  Also, i just threw up in my mouth a little bit.


7.  Most of our flags and fireworks come from China, but we still can't figure out how this whole recession thing happened.


8. Betsy Ross created the first US flag (duh)  This makes her the first freelance graphic designer in US history.  It also makes her responsible for creating the logo and brand identity for one of the biggest brands in the world!  Take that, nike and apple.


9. And lastly, as a true-blooded american, nothing makes me happier than animated GIF's......

10. and infographics.

You googled what??

Every friday, Kelsey @ Ready Set Feast does the most hilarious post on things people googled to end up at her blog.  Sadly, i get no where near enough awesome random searches to do a post every friday, but here are a few of my favorite things people have searched that somehow landed them on the gingerfoxxx blog.  I will do my best to provide you the answers you seek.


1. Rockford Marathon ginger.
Am i really that notorious??? Was i the only ginger that finished?  Does that qualify me for an award??

2.  6 mo old costume peeps
ummmm, that is an awesome idea.  I don't have a baby, and i don't know what kind of costumes are currently available for babies, but dressing them as a giant marshmallow bird is 100% approved by me.


3. Do Dogs have belly buttons?
NO!  and don't let anyone tell you different...


4. Chances for gingers to survive a zombie apacolpse
I would assume that you mean apocalypse, but just to confirm, those chances are good, my friend, very good indeed.

5.  Do you wear athletic capris with underwear?
I do, but i think we determined that either way is acceptable.


6. First World Problems - champagne
If you have champagne, i find it hard to believe you are having any problems.  Unless maybe you are out of the aforementioned champagne....


7. Men freeballing in a car
I think i am actually more concerned that you actually spent considerable time on my blog.  You seem a little strange, but thanks for reading, i guess?


8.  Teenage mutant ninja turtles drown.
You are a sick bastard.


9. Wearing toms with long socks
totally acceptable in my book!  I do it all the time! Just expect people to make fun of you.

10. Ebola virus protection
My best advice is to stay far away from the ebola virus in the first place....but i'm not a doctor.


And, my all time favorite:


11. Where do raccoons come from?

They come from larger raccoons, friends.  If you need further explanation, then you should ask your parents.

TGIF

Seriously.  I don't know what in particular made this week so draining, but it was, and i am looking forward to this weekend.  Todays fun facts are about my favorite summer drinks that i will have to have less of now that marathon training has begun.  You drinks will always be in my heart, but only sometimes in my stomach.


1.  My favorite drink of all time, year round - The dirty martini.

Vodka with a splash of olive juice and a splash of vermouth.  It better be shaken and served up or i will be very angry at you.
If you want to be really crazy, you can make it a sara-tini and just add an extra 10 olives.

2.  The John Daly.  It's basically an alcoholic Arnold Palmer.  And if you seriously know nothing about golf references, its half lemonade/half sweet tea vodka, with a splash of club soda.  (or you can just do half lemonade, half sweet tea, and add regular vodka.)

3.  New Glarus spotted cow.
Spotted cow is one of my all time favorite summer beers.  It is light and crisp and oh so tasty.  The one problem is that it is only sold in the state of Wisconsin, so to get my hands on some, i have to travel to the great north, and smuggle it back to Chicago.  Luckily my moms house is only a 20 minute drive from the state line.  It's worth being a beer-runner though, (HA! Get it?  Beer runner?!?)  because spotted cow is worth it's weight in gold in Chicago.  And as long as you're making the journey, you can stock up on cheese curds too!

4.  Ginger & Jameson
In general, i like my whiskey straight, but when it gets hot out, warm whiskey does not have the same refreshing qualities. Ginger and Jameson is the younger, hipper version of the seven&seven our grandparents all drank.  And it has the word "ginger" in it.  It's ginger ale with Jameson whiskey, if you hadn't pieced that together yet.

5.  Sangria.  
It's wine with fruit in it.  How much more healthy eating can you really expect from me?
I like to get crazy and put mango in mine.  I am seriously a loose cannon.

6. Last, but definitely not least, Margaritas.

And i mean real margaritas.  None of that super sweet blended crap you get at Chili's (although i still love you Chili's)  I want tequila, lime juice, and simple syrup in a lowball glass over ice.  And if i am still standing after two of these, you are making it wrong.


*sigh* Its going to be a long summer....

So you signed up for a race and now it's going to be 90 degrees.

Today's fun facts are all about modifying your goals in in-climate weather!

I am by NO means an expert on running in the heat.  In fact i suck at it, proven by the fact that i have already collapsed from what was most likely heat stroke once this year.  But, I have had almost every single race i put my heart and soul into this year end up with a heat warning, so here are some of the lessons i have learned the hard way.

1.  There is always going to be someone in the race who is a seasoned runner and is completely unaffected by heat and humidity.  They will make you look like an asshole, but there is nothing you can do.  You run your race, they run theirs.  Every seasoned runner probably at one time had a race that was way too hot where they severely underperformed.

2.  Adjust your goals.  This is the hardest one (for me)  Maybe you have worked for the past four months training for this race.  Maybe you are running it to honor someone.  Maybe your whole family is watching.  It doesn't matter - if it's hot, you have to slow down and send your time goals packing.  You aren't going to meet them, and you might hurt yourself.**

**Luckily, i think most of us this weekend were running this race casually anyway, so hopefully there aren't many disappointed people.

3.  If you need to pull out at any point, no one will think any less of you.  I made that mistake at Rockford, when i knew i should have quit because my body couldn't handle it, but i was more concerned with people thinking i would be a failure if i didn't finish.  That's bananas.  No one will judge you if you don't start the race, nor will any one judge you if you don't finish it.  People WILL be upset if you die during the race though.

4.  Bring water.  You might not need it.  In fact, if it is a properly stocked race, you absolutely won't need it.  But do you really want to risk it?? At the same time, don't freak out and over hydrate.  If you drink 30 glasses of water today, you are just going to be up all night peeing, and will in no way have an advantage tomorrow.

5.  Don't over dress.  I can't tell you how many people i saw lying on the side of the road wearing black capris at the Rockford Marathon.  Are you kidding me?  If there is a heat advisory don't wear black pants!  As a general rule, dress like it is 20 degrees warmer.  So if its going to be 80, dress for 100 degrees.  If it's going to be 90, dress for 110.  I don't actually know what i would wear if it were 110 degrees though....i doubt i would leave the house.  And if i did, i would probably be naked. 

6.  Run with a buddy.  Or make a friend out there on the course.  You usually don't realize when the heat is frying your brain (i didn't).  You think you're running a nice steady pace, but you are actually weaving all over the place, mumbling something about tacos.  You're going to want someone who can intervene on your behalf and recognize that it is NOT your normal behavior.  Unless it is.

7.  Wear Sunblock.  I do not understand the whole "I'm too much of a badass for sunblock" movement.  I am bringing SPF 50 tomorrow if anyone wants in.  And even if you "don't burn like a ginger" do you really want to look like this?? 

8.  Just try to have fun.  If you want to whine, go to town, i encourage you.  I might whine myself.  But try your best to make light of the situation, because while you may be miserable, so is everyone else.  Yay to misery buddies!

But seriously, just be safe out there this weekend - I kind of like all of you!

Keepin it real.

First and foremost:


Come do yoga with me this weekend!  On Sunday, my favorite yoga studio, Tula Yoga, is doing a donation class at 5pm, and all the proceeds are going to Huntington's Disease!  Come watch me sit in childs pose in a hot room for an hour.

RSVP here, or don't, and just show up and surprise me - i'll be in the back.  In childs pose.




Now, for the serious stuff.


I have gotten a lot of flack for making light of the zombie incident in Miami, and i just want to let people know, i am not joking around about zombies.  Zombies are a real and serious threat, and i don't joke around about it.  


Here are a few fun facts - ways i am currently preparing for what is obviously an inevitable large scale zombie attack.


1. Remember that Machete i got for Christmas?  (and you all laughed...)

It had been hanging out in the hatch of my car, but since i am officially raising the zombie attack threat level from yellow to red, it has been moved up to the back seat for easy access.


2. I can barely fit my cell phone in my purse....

But i can fit a multi-use pocket knife, bandaids, and aspirin.  And gum.  Woe be the soul caught in zombie apocalypse without gum.


3. I am making sure to text this guy everyday.  

Do you have a zombie survival plan with anyone?  My brother and i have had this plan for years.  It also includes my friend Ashley, but she is currently in Europe, making it very hard to get to her in the even of a full scale zombie outbreak.  My brother is a collector of weaponry, and damn good shot in my opinion.  My goal is to get to him, and then pool our resources.  I am the "brains" of this duo.  


4. Carbo-loading.

You think a marathon is hard?  There is no finish line when being chased by zombies.  You just. keep. running.  Better make sure you are properly fueled.


5.  Food hoarding.

Sure, the bags of rice were on sale so it was a financially wise purchase, but my cabinets are currently packed with 15 lbs of Trader Joe's brown rice.  Because its delicious, and an excellent choice for sustained nutrition should i need to barricade myself in my apartment.  We also have a 40lb bag of puppy chow. (For the dog, obviously)  We are set.


6.  Rations deposits.
There is no telling when the zombie apocalypse will reach chicago.  I could be at work, or stuck in traffic, or at home, or walking the dog, or at a bar.  Thats why i am taking great lengths to make sure i am surrounded by food at ALL times.  I have a snack drawer at work, multiple bags of chex mix in my car, and sometimes i grab a clif bar just to go walk the dog. The only problem is, i keep eating all my snacks and depleting the rations...

7. Meticulous scanning of reputable periodicals for clues.  Remember in Men in Black, when "K" said he got all his leads from tabloid covers?  

Just sayin.


8.  When i was little, my dad taught me shoot a bow and arrow.  I wasn't very good then, and am probably even worse now....but it is definitely time to brush up, because if i learned anything from the walking dead, it's be the guy with the arrows. 

It is the single most efficient way to kill zombies.  And to hunt as well.  I figure at some point, my brown rice hoard will run out, and i will be forced to hunt to survive.  I will also need to convince myself to eat deer, as last i checked, free-range frozen yogurt cups were no longer found in the wild.....

It's Friday, Friday!

Today's fun facts are all about all the possible ways i can end up out of commission before next week, because i am sick right now, and its making me crazy.


(**It's important to mention that 1. I'm fine, seriously.  Its just a head cold, but i feel the need to be very dramatic about it.  2.  I am not a doctor, so i am basically making any medical knowledge up - If you do ever want some sound advice go check out RunnerNurse.)


So as i mentioned, i am sick.  I have the old sneezy, running nose, scratchy throat ailment going on.  So for fun, i went to Web MD to self diagnose myself with all the different things that might ruin my marathon.  :)


1. The Mumps.  My glands are swollen (which normally happens for me with any throat ailment) But there is the small chance that i could have the mumps right now.  That's impossible you say! We were all vaccinated for the mumps!  Wellllllll, i wasn't  and i have no idea why.  My mom just never ended up getting all the vaccinations.  In fact, paperwork was actually forged to get me into college, for reasons i will never understand (It is not a religious reason)  I just think my mom wanted to challenge us.  Like hey - on top of everything - try to survive the mumps sometime in your future.  <evil laugh>

2. Coxsackie Virus.  I have a sore on my tongue.  It is most likely from eating scalding hot soup, but why rule anything out.  This usually affects people under 10, but it's marathon week, and crazy things can happen.  


3. Catch Scratch Fever.  It's really a disease, not just a Ted Nugent song.  I haven't actually been attacked or scratched by a car recently (or ever i think) but one did give me a dirty look this week, and i swear, he was scratching my soul.

4. West Nile Virus.  I totally have a mosquito bite right nowwwwww!!!!!  And i run around a LAGOON!  I have all the symptoms....sore throat, joint pain, confusion.  It's over guys.  OVER.


5.  Sjogren's Syndrome.  It's an incredibly rare autoimmune disorder, but one of the symptoms is a sore throat.  I need to cover all my bases.


6.  Exercise or physical activity.  I just thought it was really funny that this was on webmd.  It looks like we're all sick folks.  

7. Ricin poisoning.  WHO THE HELL IS POISONING ME RIGHT BEFORE A MARATHON???


8. Rabies.  Waffles has gone from trying to steal food out of my hand to trying to steal food out of my mouth as i chew it.  She has had a rabies vaccine, but maybe she is some kind of carrier, like that monkey in outbreak.

9. What the hell, as long as i am going crazy here, maybe its the ebola virus itself.  You never know with these things.

10. And finally, WebMD did throw in the common cold, just for the heck of it.  Treatment: Rest, Fluids, and stop looking at WebMd.  And with that, i am off.  Have a great weekend folks, and tell your mom's you love them! (and thank them for vaccinating you for mumps, seriously.)


****Also, don't forget to enter my raffle if you haven't yet!  Winners announced Monday!!***

FFF - All about the Flying Pig!

This weeks fun facts are all about this weekends "Flying Pig Marathon"  because i think it is a really unique midwestern race!

1.  Its actually a pretty new race - it only just started in 1999!


2. You get to run in both Kentucky and Ohio - in one race!


3. Its called the Flying Pig because  in the 1800s Cincinnati's nickname was "Porkopolis" for all the meat processing plants located here.


4.  The Pig probably has some of the best spectators of any course - they have a parrot head aid station at mile 18

5.  I can't find any pictures to prove this, but apparently in the second half of the race, you run past a convent, and all the nuns come out to cheer, and some even wear pig gear over their habits!


6.  Everyone dresses up, and the costumes don't have any rhyme or reasons.  You know i am a sucker for costumes!

7.  This year you can customize your race bib - mine says "Gingerfoxxx!"


8.  The theme of this years race is surrounding Ohio's importance as a deciding state in the upcoming presidential election.

9.  I have the option now to defer the race because of the heat.  But since its only a half marathon, and not a full, i am going suck it up and do my best.  I really appreciate that they care about my safety though - you guys rock!


10.  And finally - Aside from the marathon and half marathon, they have a 10k, 5k, and 1 miles kids race.  Matt signed up for the 10k, only it turns out it is the day before, so now we will be driving there in the middle of the night, and hopefully will make it to Cincy by 3am so that he can get 3 hours of sleep before the race.  We both need to learn how to read.