Thursday, October 4, 2012

Shit happens.

No, seriously.

A bird pooped on me last night.  I was just going for a nice and relaxing run on the trail by my office, and all of sudden, i feel something on my arm.  Low and behold, its POOP.  The poopatrater didn't stick around either, denying me any retaliation. 

Naturally i did what any reasonable headed person would do, and i moved to the side of the trail to calmly clean up the mess and deal with the situation.  
I'm just kidding, i started screaming and maniacally ran around looking for something to get the poop off with.  I grabbed some leaves to try and wipe it off, but not only were the leaves i grabbed wet, moldy, and bug infested, but they also just smeared the poop around rather than remove it.  They also contaminated my skin with about 10 million germs, and possibly leprosy.  All this is in addition to the fact that i am covered in poop.  And i am in the middle of a trail, at least a mile from my car, but i have no choice but to persevere and run back to my car, covered in poop and leprosy.  And maybe the bubonic plague.

By the time i got back to my car, the poop remnants had been permeating my skin for about 15 minutes, and had stained my arm!  WHAT THE HELL are these birds eating???  Not keeping a soap ration in my car (a FWP that has now been remedied) I was left with no choice but to get in my car and drive home with poop on my arm.  I got home and retold the heartbreaking tale to Matt, who laughed in my face.

He also snapped this picture of the poop stain:
It doesn't look like much (actually, it looks like a bruise) But this is also after being wiped off!  It's like that birds poop tattooed my arm.

The moral of the story is that I hate everything.


  1. Another reason to like winter running: Long sleeves foil purple poopatraters from turning our skin purple with their purple poopie.

  2. awh, maybe the bird wanted you to know he loved you...xoxo

  3. I heard bird poop is the blessing from the running gods. Your marathon is going to me amazing!

  4. Hmm, I wonder what they are eating that is blue? I have been pooped on twice in the past year... it makes me laugh, but... I was never very clean :P

    (And it is supposed to be good luck! But that doesn't make you feel better when it's on your arm. When it happened to me walking back to the office last year after a meeting downtown, it was IN MY HAIR. Okay, I couldn't help it - - I hope that makes you laugh :))

  5. LOL....A friend of mine just got pooped on by a bird during a run. I am totally forwarding this to her. My last close encounter with bird poop occurred when I was a pre-teen on some sort of field trip. If I recall, I was scarred for several years afterwards. It sounds like you'll bounce back okay by comparison. :)

  6. Max got pooped on a couple weeks ago and it was the highlight of my life.

  7. On the bright side, your life is seriously so amusing and full of surprises :)

  8. funny..and kind of gross...sorry!

  9. Poor Gingerfoxxx!!! I once had a bird poop on my head and it is the WORST. (I have black hair and the bird poop was white - and I'll just leave it at that.) Yikes on the bird poop stain on your arm, I hope that wears off quickly!!! But in the meantime, its bruiselike appearance does make you look really tough. =D