Wednesday, October 17, 2012

There ain't no rest....for the First World.

1.  Last night was officially the worst night we had with waffles since the very first night we spent with her.  Not only is she still shooting projectiles from both ends, but then she broke out in hives last night.  The minute the vet's office closed for the night.  So, not only did she spend the whole night in our bed scratching (And wiggling around to scratch areas she couldn't reach) But then she woke us up at 4am.  And 6am.  Because she had to go outside.  
It may seem that i am constantly blogging about waffles being sick, and it's because she CONSTANTLY IS!

First World Problems.

2. Obviously, Matt took her to the vet first thing this AM.  It turns out she has doggie IBS.  We have to supplement her diet with probiotics, but its just gonna flare up from time to time, and we just have to deal with it.  For the record, I have been cooking her (and hand feeding her!) Shrimp and chicken (vet recommended) just to get her to eat something.  And now we are getting her these probiotic supplements and vitamins.  So the dog was hand fed organic chicken for dinner last night.  Guess who had wine and tortilla chips?
First World Problems.

3.  Unless you are living under a rock, you have heard about the Lance Armstrong debacle.  I don't know why, but i am super pissed off.  I'm not a cyclist.  I don't even own a bicycle!  Actually, it's questionable whether or not i can even ride a bike.  But i am seriously angry at Lance Armstrong.  I really wanted to believe that he beat cancer and won a bunch of tour de frances.  Using only what your maker gave ya.  It gave me hope that maybe one day i could suck significantly less without doing horrible illegal things to get there.  You are a dream crusher!!!!!!!  I never owned a livestrong bracelet on account of my dainty wrists, and man, am i glad now.

For you rock dwellers: SHAME-CENTRAL
First World Problems.

4. I was on a mission to cross county lines for cheaper gas because i am such a cheap skate.  (It's only a half-mile drive)  But in doing so, i had to take a different exit to get on the highway to go home.  I don't know what's wrong with my brain, but i turned onto the exit ramp, and then spotted a Don not enter sign and freaked the heck out.  I stopped my car and tried to figure out how to turn around, only someone had followed me, and then someone had followed him.  Then everyone started honking at me.

Then i realized i was going the right way the whole time, and had been sitting there for 5 minutes like an asshole because i was looking at the sign for the other exit ramp.  And everyone thought i was a moron.  
I'm sorry, but that sign is WAY too close to the correct exit.  Who does that??  This is not my fault.  Not even a little.  Also this is why i need a chauffer. 

First World Problems.

5.  I went to Jimmy Johns for lunch, and accused the guy of giving me the wrong sandwich because it was seriously done before i even walked down to the pick up counter from the register.  I'm sorry, but how does a sandwich make itself and then beat me in a footrace?  No. Way.  

Turns out it was my sandwich, and i walk really slow, and am kind of a jerk to people sometimes without even realizing it.  

I got the last laugh though, because i ate that unrealistically speedy sandwich!!

First World Problems.  

Unfortunately, if i let myself do problems 6-10, they will all be used as part of a political rant.  And i promised myself i wouldn't go there on the blog.  Because it's not that kind of blog.  And what do i know anyway?  I grew up in a single parent home - which apparently means I am one step away from lashing out with a semi-automatic.  I had some real political zingers, i swear.  I'm a riot.

Also, WTF - I have another marathon in 11 days??  Who the hell keeps letting me sign up for marathons???

(In other news, i may have decided on what my spring marathon will be...stay tuned!)

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMSSSS!!

23 comments:

  1. Aweeee poor Waffles!!!! And poor you for having to deal with all of that! haha

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    1. I really do feel bad for her, she has no idea whats going on!

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  2. Spill on the spring race!!!!

    Hope waffles' ibs is better, poor thing. It's tough being that awesome.

    As much as i loath political anything, i think a political fwp could've been the exception :)

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    1. It is so hard not to, but even as joking as i can be, i am sure it would piss some people off, and so few people read my blog in the first place....

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  3. HOly Hannah girl you make me laugh....you remind me of my Y friend...so quick with the quirky one liners too..she keeps me laughing all day long. (Or at least for the hour or so that we work out) ha!

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    1. Maybe we are sisters from another mister???

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  4. Aw poor Waffles- my parents dog Willie has IBS too poor little doggies.

    Stop drinking = stop signing up for marathons

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  5. I want to know how the hell you are able to do all these marathons!? Guess what? Give me a few days and I'm over my horrible marathon and ready for another. Too bad marathon season is nearly over and I have a half in 2 weeks to take on.

    I how waffles is feeling better. I was diagnosed with IBS so I feel waffle's pain, quite literally.

    I think you and I should drive to Mexico for some enhancing drugs. I want to actually run averagely for once in my life.

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    1. So i actually thought about it, and i am pretty sure that even the best performance enhancing drugs would put me in the 50th percentile. Maybe. True story.

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    2. Then it sounds like we have a plan!

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  6. poor waffles! How much cheaper was the gas? I love that you keep running marathons and giving us first world problems. *hands you a glass of wine* OOh lookie..there is a marathon this weekend, you should sign up! ;)

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    1. You are all enablers!

      I ended up saving 5 cents a gallon, which really doesn't justify all the trouble it caused. You know I'll do it again though.

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  7. I agree with Bobbi. I want to know more about this spring race!

    Poor Waffles! My pup has a vet appointment on Friday too. She keeps scratching herself raw in different spots and is back to wearing the "cone of shame" during the day. I thought Pepper was bad with only eating Beggin Strip treats. She at least eats dog food (granted, the super expensive grain-free food, but still).

    This whole Lance Armstrong thing is really disheartening. The more I read about it, the more it upsets me. I haven't been a fan of his since the "I'm famous now so I need a celebrity girlfriend" moves way back when, but I still always rooted for him. Hearing all this stuff, he just seems like a real jerk. I mean, yeah, he raised a ton of money for cancer research and that is great. BUT, he also did some really awful things. It will be interesting to see how he is held accountable for his actions through the media and the world of cycling. I don't want to know, yet I also NEED to know all at the same time.

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    1. It makes me extra angry that he is still denying it! I mean, you are busted. Apologize already.

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  8. Well, you have your weapons, apparently as a married woman with a full-time job, I need flexibility ... so I can get home in time to make Robert dinner. Who needs feminism any more???

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    1. If only we could force a group of people unto submission, convincing them they do not have equal rights to us, they we could make those people live with us and do all our cooking and cleaning. I'M A GENIUS!

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  9. ANOTHER MARATHON???????

    I've done the ramp "Do not enter" thing before. It's seriously too close to both and freaks me out!

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  10. Poor Waffles! Hope the marathon taper is going well for you!

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  11. Poor Miss Waffles!! Doggy IBS doesn't sound like fun for YOU or her! I wouldn't mind the wine and tortilla chips for dinner though. Anything with wine involved is awesome in my book!
    Is there a ghost in your house that keeps signing up for marathons? I bet it is Waffles...you seriously need to watch her. LOL :-)

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  12. Poor Waffles :( Doggy IBS? Definitely a FWP. Nothing screams "America" like feeding your pets with organic pet foods :)

    And all that drama around Lance? Oh don't even...it's dream-shattering! So disappointing.

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  13. I'd appreciate your putting the important things in LARGER print for us oldies. I seriously kept reading the damn comments and was like WTF are they talking about in regards to the "spring race". I mean I read the entire thing but missed that micro print at the end. Oooopppssss!

    Didn't the doc tell you to give Waffles some brown rice to help with the IBS? You need something to help "solidify" the problem.

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