...a zombie apocalypse.
But before that - Schwaggle is having a compression sock sale! You have been warned! get them before i buy them alllllllllll!
buy them all HERE.
Back to zombies.
Tis the first day of spring! We survived the long hard winter, and today marks a day of hope for warmer days ahead. (although to be perfectly honest, if it gets any warmer, i am going to kill someone.) The downside of spring however, is that all my winter TV shows end, like Walking Dead. :(
Looks like now i will have to entertain myself with things like running, and socializing with people, and cleaning the apartment. So, in order to fill the hole that has been left in my heart until next october, here are a few key insights on why distance runners have a better chance of survival during the zombie apocalypse.
1. The incredibly obvious - we can outrun them. It's not like you have to be fast - zombies seem to stumble along at about 4.5 mph (at my estimate). But they are tireless. If you sprint away from a horde of zombies and end up with a cramp, or an asthma attack, or just are too dang tired to carry on, YOU'RE DEAD. But if you can run 11 minute miles for 5 hours, most likely someone will tucker out before you and end up as a tasty distraction. Suck it fast people. "and the slow will inherit the earth" Oh wait, that was never said? my bad.
2. We are always prepared. Aside from the obvious fact that i have a machete in my car, at the ready, i also have a glove box full of granola bars, tylenol, electrolyte tabs, a full waterbottle, etc. I don't even leave the house without food and water on my person. (mostly because i am always hungry) If i get trapped by zombies somewhere, i am at least good for a few
3. We travel in groups. I have been known to tackle a long run on my own from time to time, but the plain fact is, distance runners like to be around other distance runners. We're like a wolf pack. A very slow wolf pack.
4. I have no problem skirting all my responsibilities to go for a run. I will take care of all you bitches after my run (i'm looking at you waffles....) This survival tactic seems to work out well for Lori in the Walking Dead.
You are an awesome role model Lori.
If we can eat this crap, we can eat anything. I think choking down nasty sugar paste has given me a better food tolerance. Roast squirrel doesn't sound quite as bad as it used to.
6. We are armed with an arsenal of sleeveless shirts, pepper spray, comfortable footwear and sweat-wicking socks. We might not be appreciated for our bad-assness in everyday life, but when the zombies come, people will wish they were as awesome as us. I'm just saying, based on the show, sleeveless shirts seem to be a must for zombie apocalypse survival.