Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I will survive....

...a zombie apocalypse.  

But before that - Schwaggle is having a compression sock sale!  You have been warned!  get them before i buy them alllllllllll!
buy them all HERE.

Back to zombies.

Tis the first day of spring!  We survived the long hard winter, and today marks a day of hope for warmer days ahead.  (although to be perfectly honest, if it gets any warmer, i am going to kill someone.)  The downside of spring however, is that all my winter TV shows end, like Walking Dead.  :(
Looks like now i will have to entertain myself with things like running, and socializing with people, and cleaning the apartment.  So, in order to fill the hole that has been left in my heart until next october, here are a few key insights on why distance runners have a better chance of survival during the zombie apocalypse.

1.  The incredibly obvious - we can outrun them.  It's not like you have to be fast - zombies seem to stumble along at about 4.5 mph (at my estimate).  But they are tireless.  If you sprint away from a horde of zombies and end up with a cramp, or an asthma attack, or just are too dang tired to carry on, YOU'RE DEAD.  But if you can run 11 minute miles for 5 hours, most likely someone will tucker out before you and end up as a tasty distraction.  Suck it fast people.  "and the slow will inherit the earth"   Oh wait, that was never said?  my bad.

2.  We are always prepared.  Aside from the obvious fact that i have a machete in my car, at the ready, i also have a glove box full of granola bars, tylenol, electrolyte tabs, a full waterbottle, etc.  I don't even leave the house without food and water on my person.  (mostly because i am always hungry)  If i get trapped by zombies somewhere, i am at least good for a few days hours.

3.  We travel in groups.  I have been known to tackle a long run on my own from time to time, but the plain fact is, distance runners like to be around other distance runners.  We're like a wolf pack.  A very slow wolf pack.

4.  I have no problem skirting all my responsibilities to go for a run.  I will take care of all you bitches after my run (i'm looking at you waffles....) This survival tactic seems to work out well for Lori in the Walking Dead.
You are an awesome role model Lori.

5.  
If we can eat this crap, we can eat anything.  I think choking down nasty sugar paste has given me a better food tolerance.  Roast squirrel doesn't sound quite as bad as it used to.

6.  We are armed with an arsenal of sleeveless shirts, pepper spray, comfortable footwear and sweat-wicking socks.  We might not be appreciated for our bad-assness in everyday life, but when the zombies come, people will wish they were as awesome as us.  I'm just saying, based on the show, sleeveless shirts seem to be a must for zombie apocalypse survival.

I will miss you so much Daryl - so, so much.....

14 comments:

  1. That first photo of Lori makes me laugh really hard. She is dumb. The finale was so good!

    Have you used the brand Pro Compression before? I thought about buying a pair but wasn't sure of the brand. I want to go to there!

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    1. I have a pair! They are the same compression amount as the CEP, only a little thinner. My only downside is that they are a tiny bit long, but i think its more that i have very short legs!

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    2. haha, i did too!! great minds think alike!

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  2. I am so mad at Pro Compression for doing this deal. I literally opened that email and said DAMN YOU. They are my fave socks and my bank account really does not want me to get yet another pair of compression socks....but I must....

    I really like this post. And you.

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    1. seriously, i am so broke, yet all my money still goes to brightly colored compression socks. (do i sense a first world problem for tomorrow?)

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  3. LOL! I love this post! Phew - now I know I will survive the zombie attach.

    I watched the first episode of the show and was kind of interested but could not make it through the second episode (there were too many new annoying characters). I think we will give it another try. My BiL gave the first season to my husband for Christmas.

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    1. It's weird, Matt hated the second season, but i loved it. I am biased though, because i love ANYTHING pertaining to zombies!

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  4. I hope you do get all those socks - then you can sell them for more muwhahahaha

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  5. I am sharing this with my fiancé in hopes that it helps him like running a little bit more! He's always very concerned about the possibility of a Zombie attack. :)

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    1. I know they make an app (which i am too cheap to buy) that will have you do intervals as "zombies" are approaching, haha

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