Taper Madness - scourge of the first world.

1.  Pinterest, i know i loved you at one point, but that love has turned into a venomous hate.  It is you that has driven me to consume no less than 3 pumpkin muffins on a daily basis for the past week!  Also, why would you have a recipe for 24 muffins without a freaking warning??  24 muffins in a house of two people is dangerous.  

Recipe here

I managed to stop myself after one and a half muffins today.  It's like weaning yourself off of crack.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  As you may know, i have been nursing a sore muscle in my calf.  It turns out its probably my "soleus" and the injury isn't even from running.  It's most likely from standing in one place for 12 hours straight at music festivals the day before my 20 miler (and then running a 20-miler).  When my mom told me rock n roll music was dangerous, i had know idea how right she was.  Also probably why you see very few mohawks during a marathon.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

3.  Did you know dogs don't have a soleus?

FIRST WORLD SOLUTIONS!

4.  Speaking of princess waffles, we got her a new coat!  And she hates it.

That is the face of stoic intolerance.  She refused to move in the coat.  Like at all.  She stood there like a statue glaring at me until i took it off.  Maybe because it isn't silk and cashmere like her majesty requires, and rather a random boots & barkley coat i bought at target when hoarding the candy corn i finally located.  I thought because it was plaid, she might be tricked into thinking it was burberry, but no dice.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5.  I got a random email from my vet on ways to battle pet obesity.  Oh, the irony!  My dog could not be fat even if she tried.  She invented the dog hunger strike.  This is what our EVERY morning looks like.

How DARE you try to feed me dog food!  I DEMAND the 2 day old tin can that used to be filled with clam chowder sitting in the bottom of the garbage!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6.  My coworker just sent me this article about Zombie Bees in Washington.  Apparently, they fly around at night erratically and then die.  I was slightly disappointed that the bees seemingly have no desire to eat other bees, which to me, is the core of being a zombie.  These could just as easily be "crackhead bees"  But, zom-BEEs sounds so adorable.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

7.  Are you noticing a complete lack of a train of thought here?  Thats because taper madness is in full effect.  I am losing my mind.  Lets just run the freaking marathon already, and stop giving mother nature the opportunity to get hotter.  If my brain degrades any further, i am going to be comatose.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  I have these adorable hot hand packs from restoration hardware that we got for a project last year, and seeing as my office has been freezing this week, i decided to try them out.  Only as it turns out, my weak little fingers were not strong enough to activate the heating disk.  May i remind you these little hot pads are made for children?  I sat there for 20 minutes waiting for them to get warm, and they did not.  Finally my coworker asked my why i was sitting at my desk holding a cold heating pack and staring at it angrily.  I embarrass myself daily.

foiled again!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

9.  One more day until i can obsessively compulsively start checking the 10 day weather forecast.  I am on the verge of peeing myself in anticipation.

Don't you screw me over again, weather!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  Waffles' "final" for puppy class intermediate is this Sunday.  Guess who will most likely be failing this puppy class, and bring shame upon the house of Gingerfoxxx?

Training a basenji is like teaching Helen Keller to dance. 
No offense, Ms. Keller.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

I deeply apologize for this random spewing of a blog post.  All the carbs i am eating are restricting blood flow from my brain.