FWP - roar.

For some reason, i have been operating on a short fuse this week.  Primarily, because i wanted to take friday off, and then realized that it is impossible to ever take a day off of work when i need one.  The second i requested off, i had three projects come in that were due the same week.  Little do they know, i would rather work late every single night just to still get the day off.  And work late i have!


1.  You know how people in repetitive, terrible situations become desensitized to the experience?  That is how i am feeling about weather right now.

Another scalding hot half marathon?  I am so emotionally detached that i can't even whine about it.  All i can do is make this apathetic grunt. "mmmmeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh."


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


2.  They make waterbeds for cows.

I seriously spent three years sleeping on the equivalent of an army cot that i bought at Ikea. You have GOT to be freaking kidding me.  

I have seriously spent 15 minutes trying to figure out if this is joke.  It has to be a joke, right???


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


3.  Speaking of animals, Waffles is on a slew of antibiotics and painkillers, so we have to crush up the medicine and mix it into wet food to feed to her.  I am normally against pampering the dog, but she recently had a growth spurt, and could use the extra food, so i am going along with it.  I worked so late this week, that the pet store i normally go to was closed, so i went to Whole Foods, like an asshole.  I ended up picking up Paul Newmans dog food, because it was the cheapest (cheapest at whole foods is still way out of my budget)

Oh. My. God.  Just to remind you, i don't eat meat, but both Matt and i were hovering over this can and salivating.  It is seriously like pot-roast dinner for dogs.  Cuts of beef, with potatoes and carrots.  It smelled so good i wanted to fight waffles and steal the food from her.  Then Matt and i sat down to our dinner of beet soup.  Tears were shed.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


4. The president of chick-fil-a has stated that gay marriage invites the judgement of God.

Well, condemning gay marriage when you are only qualified to critique chicken and waffle fries invites the judgement of ME.  And i assure you, most religious organizations agree that my wrath is equally terrifying and significantly more obnoxious.  Nothing annoys me more than when restaurants and brands decide to get political.  Why do you even feel the need to publicly bring this up, Dan Cathy?  What do you know about anything other than putting pickles on a chicken sandwich? Can't you just sit around eating your delicious sandwiches and judging everyone in silence?  And damn you if you didn't just alienate the biggest consumer of waffle fries in the US - ME.  


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


5. The cone of shame has been the great divider.  People who have pets look at her, then look at me and give me a sympathetic nod and smile.  They know whats going on, and they acknowledge our suffering.

Non pet owners cross the street to avoid walking past us.  As if the dog has leprosy.  I'm sorry, but walking past my dog is not going to infect you - you won't sprout a cone from your neck.  And stop sneering and asking me what is wrong with my dog.  She wears the cone so she doesn't have to look at your stupid face.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


6.  Our apartment is SO stuffy.  Why did i ever think living on the third floor was a good idea?  I actually yelled at Matt last night and accused him of "hogging all the oxygen"  Now that i am not so cranky, i am reconsidering if one can even hoard oxygen.  Why didn't I think of that??

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


7. Thanks to Keren, who truly understands living la vida FWP as much as i do, for sending me this: www.thefuckingweather.com  I am over you, weather channel.  This site speaks the truth!


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  I assure, there are many more problems, but i seriously just don't have time today.  Some is better then none, right??