Goals for Chicago

I cannot stress how important it has to have a detailed plan A, plan B, and plan C;  I'm not gonna lie, sometimes even a D when it comes to race day.  Something, whether it good or bad, is going shake things up, and you will be faced with a string of complications on race day that never seemed to be an issue before.   

Whether it be the weather, something we ate (or didn't) in the week before the race. lack of sleep. rogue shoelaces. seeing someone we love on the course. seeing someone we hate on the course. a broken ipod. a broken garmin. broken sunglasses. a random spot of chafing that never appeared on any of the training runs. pain in your toe. pain in your knee. pain in your stomach. the wrong flavor gu?  mystery drink that is not the gatorade promised. Is there a pinecone in my shoe?  There are too many people. Why aren't there any people? I'm going too fast.  I'm going too slow.  I am going the perfect speed yet still I'm filled with anxiety.  Is that a rain cloud?  Did someone just spit on me?? The mile markers are off.  Did i leave the stove on?  No seriously, is it on??? RENT! I forgot to pay rent in all my marathon anxiety!  My toenail has fallen off.  i just know it.  I can feel it.  Where are my friends?  They said they would be at mile 15!  or was it 17?  WTF did the pace leader go?? WHO SMELLS?  why did i wear this - what was i thinking??  All i want is ice.  This-is-the-longest-six-miles-i-have-ever-run. everyone is staring at me because i am going so slow.  Why am i sweating so more than everyone else?  I want to take my shoes off SO BAD!  Cotton socks were a bad choice.  Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.

Yeah, there are a lot of variables.  As an anxiety sufferer, the race day for me is really hard - much harder than all the training miles.  It is especially hard for me to prepare myself for Chicago, as their will be approximately 44,500 more people than my other two marathons.  Combined.  I tend to panic in crowds.  But, the best way for me to calm my nerves is to HAVE A MULTI-FACETED PLAN.

If there isn't water? Don't you leave it up to fate.  Bring your own.  Remember Rockford.
If it's hot?  no compression socks.  salt pills.  Start at a 10:40 pace.
If it's cold? Arm warmers.  Don't over dress, you always over dress.
If it rains?  Screw you bitches, because i am having a great race.  I love rain.
If i fall?  Get back up.  But go ahead and be dramatic about it.
If my calf is sore? Slow down, take it easy
If my calf pain becomes sharp? Stop race.  Cannot risk missing Dublin.
If someone holds out hand?  High five it.  High fives are awesome.

I think i am ready.  I am also reminding myself that this is technically a training run for another race.  And either way, i am not that fast of a runner anyway, i will always be in the middle of the party pack.  It's how i roll.

Goal A: Stars align.  Run a steady pace with the 4:30 group.  Lots of smiles.  It's a party. 
Goal B: Finish under 5 hours.  Keep whining to a minimum.
Goal C: It's my party, and i'll cry if i want to. 

What's your game plan for the marathon?

Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY?

I apologize in advance, because this has nothing to do with running, tapering, the marathon, the other marathon, candy, food in general, first world problems (well, maybe first world problems) or waffles.


This is a rant about the raised in a barn degenerates of suburban glenview.  

So, just so you know, i am the kind of girl to wait until the last possible minute to put gas in my car.  I am frequently late for everything, and basically, it is below me (kidding.  sort of.)  So, by the time last night rolled around, i left work desperately needing gas, as the empty light had turned on half way through my commute TO work.  Obviously, this was a fueling EMERGENCY.

I pull into the Shell that i pass to get onto the highway, and naturally, every pump is occupied, because my life sucks.  I wait, ever so patiently for a pump to open up, and when one does, i casually direct my car towards the pump, when someone ZOOMS into the spot at 300 miles per hour, cutting me off.  Are you F***ING kidding me??? UGH! so rude.  I back up, and wait for the next one.  Another one opens up, but its on the opposite side of my gas tank, so i commence the awkward ballet of turning my stupid car around so i can back in.  Meanwhile, someone ZOOMS in and takes the spot that i am very obviously backing into.  At this point, my ginger rage is in full effect.  I give it one last chance, and pull around to the other side to a spot that just opened up. This time, not only am i cut off, but i am cut off by someone who isn't even putting gas in their car, they are just stealing the spot to run in and buy cigarettes, and this spot was closer than the epic walk from the open parking spot less than 100 feet away.

At this point i just started screaming and laying on the horn, having a full fledged nuclear meltdown within the confines of my car.  I didn't know whether to cry, or to start ramming my car into everyone around me, Towanda style.

I ended up leaving, and going to another gas station, but i barely made it, and those rude, self-absorbed, lexus driving suburbanites basically ruined my evening.  Should the suburb of glenview suddenly burst into flames, i would not be sad.  Not one bit.

Taper Madness - scourge of the first world.

1.  Pinterest, i know i loved you at one point, but that love has turned into a venomous hate.  It is you that has driven me to consume no less than 3 pumpkin muffins on a daily basis for the past week!  Also, why would you have a recipe for 24 muffins without a freaking warning??  24 muffins in a house of two people is dangerous.  

Recipe here

I managed to stop myself after one and a half muffins today.  It's like weaning yourself off of crack.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  As you may know, i have been nursing a sore muscle in my calf.  It turns out its probably my "soleus" and the injury isn't even from running.  It's most likely from standing in one place for 12 hours straight at music festivals the day before my 20 miler (and then running a 20-miler).  When my mom told me rock n roll music was dangerous, i had know idea how right she was.  Also probably why you see very few mohawks during a marathon.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

3.  Did you know dogs don't have a soleus?

FIRST WORLD SOLUTIONS!

4.  Speaking of princess waffles, we got her a new coat!  And she hates it.

That is the face of stoic intolerance.  She refused to move in the coat.  Like at all.  She stood there like a statue glaring at me until i took it off.  Maybe because it isn't silk and cashmere like her majesty requires, and rather a random boots & barkley coat i bought at target when hoarding the candy corn i finally located.  I thought because it was plaid, she might be tricked into thinking it was burberry, but no dice.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5.  I got a random email from my vet on ways to battle pet obesity.  Oh, the irony!  My dog could not be fat even if she tried.  She invented the dog hunger strike.  This is what our EVERY morning looks like.

How DARE you try to feed me dog food!  I DEMAND the 2 day old tin can that used to be filled with clam chowder sitting in the bottom of the garbage!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6.  My coworker just sent me this article about Zombie Bees in Washington.  Apparently, they fly around at night erratically and then die.  I was slightly disappointed that the bees seemingly have no desire to eat other bees, which to me, is the core of being a zombie.  These could just as easily be "crackhead bees"  But, zom-BEEs sounds so adorable.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

7.  Are you noticing a complete lack of a train of thought here?  Thats because taper madness is in full effect.  I am losing my mind.  Lets just run the freaking marathon already, and stop giving mother nature the opportunity to get hotter.  If my brain degrades any further, i am going to be comatose.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  I have these adorable hot hand packs from restoration hardware that we got for a project last year, and seeing as my office has been freezing this week, i decided to try them out.  Only as it turns out, my weak little fingers were not strong enough to activate the heating disk.  May i remind you these little hot pads are made for children?  I sat there for 20 minutes waiting for them to get warm, and they did not.  Finally my coworker asked my why i was sitting at my desk holding a cold heating pack and staring at it angrily.  I embarrass myself daily.

foiled again!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

9.  One more day until i can obsessively compulsively start checking the 10 day weather forecast.  I am on the verge of peeing myself in anticipation.

Don't you screw me over again, weather!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  Waffles' "final" for puppy class intermediate is this Sunday.  Guess who will most likely be failing this puppy class, and bring shame upon the house of Gingerfoxxx?

Training a basenji is like teaching Helen Keller to dance. 
No offense, Ms. Keller.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

I deeply apologize for this random spewing of a blog post.  All the carbs i am eating are restricting blood flow from my brain.

Fort 2 Base!

Obviously, my brain is malfunctioning a little, as this race review is a day late and dollar short.  Actually, it is not a dollar short, but it is short a few photos.  In fact, i don't even know where my camera is these days - taper madness has me a hot mess!

On Sunday, i woke up pre dawn to drive up to the great lakes naval base for the 2nd annual Fort 2 Base race!  The race comes highly acclaimed, and i was lucky enough to win an entry through Maggie's blog.  

The drive to the base took longer than i expected, even at 5 am.  Its an awkward distance from home in that its not far enough for me to get a hotel, but its a solid drive to get to and from.  Maggie had warned me to get there really early, but apparently my interpretation of early is no where near early enough.  When i got to the offsite parking area, the lot was full!  Luckily, Mayhem had taken over, and people were just illegally parking everywhere.  It was a morning i was very grateful for my mediocre at best parallel parking abilities.  From there, we were shuttled to the start line which was somewhere in Fort Sheridan.  The line for port-a-potties was REDONK, so i made an executive decision to hold it.  And, if you want my advice on any race 13 miles or less where there is an insane porta-potty line- just hold it.  Usually the urge to pee dissipates after a few miles.  And if not, the lines on the course are usually non-existant.  But holding it is good advice for life - so i hope you wrote that down.

I felt a little useless at the start - they were honoring all those who have served in the military.  Which is definitely not me.  I felt a little guilty.  But then the race started and it was awesome again!  I positioned myself in between the 10:00 and the 9:30 pace group (my goal pace for Dublin is 9:40, my goal pace for chicago is PARTY)  and just hung out there.  Somewhere between miles 6-7 an older gentleman started talking to me.  He spent a good chunk of his life on the naval base, and just started telling me all kinds of stories.  It was so awesome, and the miles just flew by.  It was really amazing to see the lake views from the naval base - as a civilian, i would never have otherwise gotten the chance.  I regret not bringing my camera, and will totally do so next year!  by the time we got to the giant downhill that preceded the giant uphill, my calf started to hurt something fierce.  Luckily my older gentleman friend was able to motivate me keep going (he was running repeats on this hill when i was a fetus, he reminded me), and the uphill was actually much easier for me than the downhill.

Minus the pain in calf, i felt strong, and fully capable of continuing on.  It's rare that i finish a race feeling good about myself as a runner, so this was a huge boost with two marathons on the agenda next month.  And, i suppose its a PR for me, as i have never run 10 Nautical miles before.  Sadly, i still don't know what a nautical mile is - i thought that question might answer itself while on the course.

Post race had just about the best swag i have ever seen at a race.  No joke.  Larabars, cookies, gatorade, muscle milk, CHEESE!, and even deodorant samples.  It's like they knew i would be there.

I met up with these hip ladies

And then hopped on a bus back to my illegally parked car.  

Topline: This race was awesome.  The view was amazing, and everyone volunteering was awesome.  Sexy men in uniform can high-five me anytime.  ANYTIME.  I will do this race next year (schedule permitting) and plan on dragging Matt along too!

Pros:  Beautiful course; Chance for civilians to be on naval base; awesome medal and (excellent fitting!) shirt; good-looking menfolk (and ladyfolk!) in uniform motivating you along the course; Better post race spread than most marathons; and great distance (this seems so much easier than 13.1!)

Cons:  Parking.  My understanding is that it improved, but is still nowhere near seamless; Its a bit a little bit of a trek from Chicago; start area could use more porta-potties.  

You know if my biggest complaint is having to wait to pee, it must be a pretty awesome race.  I had a great time, and would recommend this to everyone.  Learn from my mistakes though, and bring a camera!  When else will you be running along the lakefront of a naval base??

Everyday i'm tapering!

Thats all i have for today folks - Taper on!

**Kim pointed out that i am making grammatical errors left and right - does anyone else feel "less sharp" during taper weeks?  I am not brightest bulb to begin with, but man, tapering makes me feel physically AND mentally slow!  It's like my brain is on vay-cay...hopefully somewhere nice!

In the meantime, more coffee!!!

Like a moth to the flame

Here we are, 16 days away from the Chicago Marathon, and i can't help but recall my first marathon, exactly 4 months ago.  If you didn't read the horrific shit show that it was, you can check it out HERE.  Granted, as i lay there, presumably dying, i vowed to never ever run a marathon again.  But here i am, 16 days away from one.  Granted, my experience at the Rockford Marathon was basically what nightmares are made of, but now, four months later, i am glad i went through it.  It showed me what a strong person i am physically and mentally, and that perseverance is the single most important factor in running a marathon.  Oh, and water.  That is super important too, Rockford... 

Ok, the actual intent of this post - I got this in my email:

Registration for the 2013 Rockford Marathon is now open.

Why would i even look twice at this??

On one hand, Rockford is where i grew up, and i kind of feel like it really needs my help.  It's a failed manufacturing town with violent crime and unemployment rates that rival Detroit and Flint.  Its number 9 on the top 10 list of most dangerous cities to live.  But its still my hometown, and quite frankly, it needs help.  It needs revenues, and it needs a little bit of a "character makeover."  I really want to see the Rockford marathon be successful, something that shows how great Rockford can be.

But on the other hand, THIS MARATHON ALMOST KILLED ME.  Seriously.  Limping through one of the worst neighborhoods in town, delirious from dehydration, while crack heads look at you like you're the crazy one is not pretty.  Or safe.  Or forgivable.  Sports Event Management totally botched this event by not having enough water, not canceling the race when the temps hit 90,  and leaving people out on the course alone and confused.  And unconscious.  I would like to think they learned a valuable lesson from their failures, but would i stake my life on it?

But on the other hand, it's so cheap!  under $50 with my CARA discount, and i have a place to stay, and a babysitter for waffles.  And part of me (the ferocious, vengeance-seeking part) wants to show this race that i will f*ck it up the same way it did to me.

In short, i have this question for you.  If you had a truly horrific experience at a race (that was in part because of race management), would you ever go back for more?  Am i a masochist??

Marathon's are such a first world problem.

I left my camera at home, so all images will be expressed through memes, animated gif's and someecards.  Your welcome.

1.  I was limping my way through a walk with waffles yesterday evening, and i encountered a man walking his dogs who apparently knew my name and training schedule.  Just as i was about to call for an adult, he said that he and Matt run into each other at the dog park frequently and chit chat.  He asked how training was going, and i just exploded with all my frustrations over my stupid calf, and not being able to run, and the race being 2 1/2 weeks out.  He actually ended up looking at the calf muscle, despite having no medical background.  He expressed his sympathies though.  It was a strange encounter.
"Hey, I just met you,And this is crazy,But here's my calf muscle,So call me, maybe crazy?"

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  I have been a total nutcase all week, mostly because i haven't been venting all my excess energy through running.  I am going to attack the next person that asks me if i am ready for the marathon.  I'm not ready.  In fact, i won't be ready until i am about 10 miles into that baby.  That's just how i roll.

Approaching the finish line of the Chicago Half Marathon

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

3.  I'm not quite sure what happened yesterday, but i entered my car with a bag of kraft caramels, but after sitting in traffic for an hour, i arrived home and those caramels were gone!  The obvious assumption i know you are all thinking is that i ate them all.  But i don't recall doing that!  The obvious presence of a blackout period would imply that i was abducted by aliens, who confiscated my caramels before returning me to my car.  (if we have learned anything from the x-files.)

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

4.  I was sitting on the couch eating a triscuit on monday (FINE, a box of triscuits) and Waffles was peacefully sitting next to me, presumably napping.  In a split second, that monster stuck her snout INTO MY MOUTH to retrieve the triscuit i was chewing, and eat it herself.  She literally stole food right out of my mouth as i was chewing it.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5.  I have a splinter in my tongue from a popsicle stick.  You have no idea how painful it is.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6.  So far i have found candy corn oreos, candy corn colored peeps, candy corn EVERYTHING except candy corn itself.  Do you think the drought has something to do with this?  Was the corn crop of the candy variety also affected??  Oh, what a world!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

7.  My dear friend Aaron that is supposed to be running the marathon with me has still only completed one training run.  About 7 weeks ago.  I have a strong hunch that i will be running this baby all alone, much like the 20 miler.  sigh.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  As it gets chilly, i have realized that in the upcoming months, i will have no choice but to buy waffles a sweater.  I am going to be the girl that has a dog that wears a sweater.  I am inconsolable.  Actually, i am just going to try and fashion her a poncho out of dish towel, a la pinterest!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

9.  I switch off between two pairs of shoes (long runs and short runs) only i have not kept track of mileage per shoes at all.  So each pair has somewhere between 1 and 1,000,000 miles on them.  Why don't these things have counters on them??  I don't have time for routine math.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  American Horror Story, basically the scariest most awesome tv show ever, starts in a few weeks.  I am already having nightmares based on the 30 second preview.  Who has nightmares from previews???  This isn't even HBO!  I'm in trouble.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

Holy crap, it's fall!

Just when i entered the darkest hour, the universe presents me with fall.  Well played, universe, well played!

I know we still have a little more time before it's "officially" fall, but i turned the heat on in my car this morning, so you better believe it's time to hook up a cider IV, buy a cart full of candy corn and spend some quality time on my couch watching all my favorite shows that are starting up again!

Reasons I am crying autumn colored tears of joy:

1.  I can now wear scarves to cover up the ridiculous collage of sports bra sunburn lines.

2.  My 8 remaining toenails on my hideous feet can be shoved inside woolie socks, and then further shoved into adorable boots, ensuring the world will never, ever have to lay eyes on them.

3.  I seem slightly less weird with my incessant zombie talk.

4.  Pumpkin beer is flowing into my mouth like the mississippi flows into the gulf.

5.  I can finally go for a run without a sweat towel for my car seat.

6.  Pumpkin muffins, pumpkin bread, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin EVERYTHING!

7.  I am eating an entire squash as i write this.  No, seriously.

and finally, 

8.  Candy corn.  It's everywhere.  If this doesn't bring about world peace, then i don't know what will.

Are you as excited as i am??  Did i miss any awesome perks of fall?  Are you also celebrating, or are you one of those weirdos that actually likes summer?

that weekend where too much happened.

SATURDAY:

my third year pouring beers with Becca!

I was a volunteer beer vendor at the hideout block party on Saturday morning.  I do this every year, because they let me drink unlimited beer, i get to hang out with my friends, i get free entry to the block party (which had headliners Iron and wine and Wilco this year!) and the girl pouring the beer is the most popular girl at the event.  Beer servers have all the power, and it brings me one step closer to world domination.

I had to limit myself to one beer though, because of my Sunday 20-miler.  It was very sad.

After being at the block party all morning/afternoon, Matt picked me up and we headed down to RiotFest!!  We caught the very end of slapstick's set, and got to watch the Dropkick Murphys and the Descendants.  15 year old Sara was very happy.

Despite all of this, i still managed to make it home and in bed at a reasonable hour.  (although being on my feet the entire day was probably not the best idea.)

SUNDAY:

Sunday morning i was participating in the Newton Ready to Run 20-miler. For non Chicagoans, This is  an event created by the Chicago Area Runners Association, and is used as "test run" for the marathon.  I actually really love this idea.  My biggest complaint about the training this summer is that because the groups are massive, every water stop takes 5-10 minutes.  That's bananas.  You will not stop for 10 minutes in a marathon.  So this run is set up with a start line, finish line, and water stops just like the race, so you can actually get a sense of what you will do on race day.  I still chose a 10:30 pace because it seemed like a smart move for me.  It is, still, just a training run.  Now, bear with me, as i have a few criticisms of the run.  I'm not trying to be a bitch, i really enjoyed the way this was set up, and i would recommend it to anyone, and would totally do this again.  These are just some helpful observances.

1.  I have never seen so many people that are completely unprepared to run 20 miles try to run 20 miles in my life.  This was terrifying.  It is an open event (not just CARA members) so i think something like 3500 people "ran" this.  I use quotations because so many people were walking by mile 10!  Seriously?  If you are walking by mile 10, you should seriously rethink running the marathon.  I am not trying to be a bitch, this is coming from a place of legitimate concern....if you haven't trained, you are putting yourself at risk.  One girl that started with my pace group had to fall back before we hit mile one.  People were still on the course 5.5 hours after the start.  This concerns me.....

2.  A lot of the pace groups were off.  Like, way off.  My goal for this run was to run twenty miles at a 10:30 pace.  That includes water, bathroom, walk breaks, anything.  In general, i just assumed that we would obviously lose time at the water stops (always a clusterf*ck, thats just a given) and we would speed up a little to balance it.  This didn't happen.  After the second water stop, I had to leave my group because they were no where near the pace, and i have specific goals i need to meet. I ended up running most of this run alone, passing through a variety of pace groups, that were not on pace.  At  mile 17, i ran into my friend Brittany, whom i met through winter training. I was so happy to see her, and those last three miles were by far the easiest, because i had her to talk to.  I eventually saw the group i started with when i was getting on the bus to leave.  Their average pace had been 11:30, and by the time they finished, they had run out of beer.  If i had stayed with them, i would have ended up going on rampage because there was no beer.  In short, don't rely on a pace group if you have specific goals other than "just finish".  My run was super lonely, but i was right on pace.

3.  I am injured.  This is actually no ones fault, but i am totally blaming anything and everything i can because i am pissed off and not dealing with it very well.  About half way through the 20-miler, i started having pain right above my achilles on my left leg, just below the calf.  By the time i finished the run and sat down to stretch, it felt rock hard, and was throbbing in pain.  When i got home, i couldn't even walk up the stairs to my apartment.  So i crawled.  Up three flights of stairs.  I got inside and was in tears.  I have pretty high pain tolerance, but this was awful.  Matt carried me to the couch and we iced it.  Then i took some pain killers, and rubbed numbing gel on the area. Then i had to sit through puppy class.  I just sat there the whole time with my leg propped up, while waffles misbehaved.  We took her home, and went back to riotfest so that i could see the Jesus and Mary chain.  This was a horrible idea, and i admit it.  But i had been waiting for months to see them.  I stood on one leg the whole time, leaning on Matt.  Luckily, the painkillers and beer seemed to help.

After that we grabbed some dinner with friends, and went home so i could ice my leg some more.

When i woke up today, it still hurt, but not as bad. Walking is ok, but stairs are very painful.  I am hoping it was just a strained muscle, and a few days rest will help.  I am trying to keep the thoughts of not being able to run either marathon out of my head, but it was all i dreamt about last night.   I am so grouchy because it just started out of nowhere, without any (perceived by me) warning. 20 days before the marathon.  I am trying to stay positive and look on the bright side, but it is definitely a struggle right now.  

Friday, i love you!

I seriously did not think Friday would ever get here!

First and foremost - Make sure you go visit Kim's blog, and wish her good luck on her first 50k!!  And then swing on by Charlyn's blog to wish her good luck this weekend as she runs a boston qualifying time at fox valley!

Neither of these ladies actually needs luck - they are both amazingly talented runners, but sometimes it's nice just to hear it anyway!!

Today, i would like to bring you another installment of "Weird shit people google to randomly end up at my blog"  (Kelsey at Ready, Set, Feast gets enough weirdo's to do a post like this every Friday - and it's amazing!)

1. "indian summer" guy in gym  All i know about Indian Summers is that they piss me off, because it usually manifests itself in the form of a 90 degree day in October.  Why are you in the gym and not outside if it's an indian summer?  Or, are you in the gym when its freezing out wearing bootie shorts, wishing it was an indian summer?  I swear, if you are causing an indian summer, i will knock you right off your treadmill, american gladiator style.

2.   aspaeris pivot shorts crotch sweat   Ummmmm, eww? I don't think thats normal.  Maybe try shorts with a little more ventilation?

3.  because those goddamn zombies  Because they what?  BECAUSE THEY WHAT???

4.  god damn raccoon trailer park  Is this a trailer park made for raccoons, or a trailer park over run with them.  Either way, this one made me re-google it.  In doing so, i found this picture and it made me lol.

5.  happy you made it through accident  This HAS to be a someecard....

6.  mumps gone wild  ......i don't have words for this one...

7.  which circle of hell do gingers go to  If they are in IKEA, then all of them...

8. +"i had to pee" +"i still had to pee"  Maybe you should try peeing!

9.  feeling tired, malnourished & pissed off   Welcome home, my children, welcome home....

10.  how to run a 1:55 half marathon   Have you read my blog?  Obviously, i have no freaking clue on how to do this.  Obviously...


And lastly, my favorite:

what would happen if i just got up and ran 20 miles

you will DIE.  the end.


Happy Friday!

The Hardest Week.

23 days.  23 days.  23 days.

I knew this would be the hardest week of marathon training, but now that its here, i can confirm:

This is the hardest week of marathon training.

I don't know what it is, but it psychs me out.  I have been dreading it for a month now!  Every run seems so long, and arduous, and exhausting.  I just want to call in sick to work, and sleep all day long.  Everyone talks about how terrible taper madness is, but for me, this week (super high mileage week) is much worse.  BUT, surviving this week is good practice for surviving the marathon.  Provided i don't fall asleep in traffic or murder anyone at work.  It's like i need some kind of magic super woman energy drink....

It's not even that the mileage itself scares me - its the time involved in scheduling this much mileage into an already packed week!  This is always the week where i hate people who literally have nothing to do other than just run.  I also despise super fast people, because they finish their runs twice as fast as me, allowing them more time for laundry, dog-walking, and food preparation.  Why don't you share the wealth and come do some of MY laundry with all of your free time?? You suck, fast leisurely people.  

Obviously, i am totally kidding.  But i am really tired and "overwhelmed" feeling - like i am sure all of us are who plan on running the Chicago Marathon in 23 days. And i am reminding myself how much harder it would be with kids.  When i got home last night, i seriously gave waffles a chew toy and told her to leave me alone for the night (not that she did anyway) so i could catch up on domestic tasks.  I am 90% sure you can't do that with kids.  Although maybe you can.  Thank god i don't have kids....

In other news, i finally went and bought the oreos!

They are delicious, in case you were concerned.

I had to go to Target anyway because i had to pick up some baking ingredients, because some how, i am in charge of throwing a surprise bridal shower for our receptionist this week (why anyone would put me in charge of this task is beyond me).  I am making cupcakes tonight, and i made truffles last night...

i wish.

I love these little truffles, because they taste amazing, and are really easy to make - therefore making me look way more awesome and together than i am.  They are a must for when you get caught needing to provide treats during high mileage week.

In times of need, refined sugar will always be there for you.  Always.
Hang in there, everyone!

I might be the root of my problems...

First and foremost, my dog is an ASSHOLE!

1.  So waffles has once again decided that she doesn't want to eat in the morning.  And its not that she isn't hungry, because she ate half a roll of toilet paper.  She just doesn't want to eat her food.  So i did what my mom did for me when i was being an asshole and wouldn't eat my food.  I melted cheese all over it.

Notice i had to take the picture from afar with my zoom while i hid around the corner.  Her highness cannot be watched while she eats.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  Also, she ate the cheesy food so fast she proceeded to puke 1 minute later.  So that was my morning.    Moral of the story?  Don't melt cheese all over your dogs food.  Thanks for nothing, mom.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

3.  Fall is (almost) here!  Fall is (almost) here!!  I seriously love fall so much! My only complaint about fall is how early it gets dark.  When i run after work and dont get home until about 8, i end up walking the dog in the dark, which is the worst.  Have you ever been freezing cold in your sweating running clothes trying to locate tiny dog poops by the light of your cell phone, because she only poops in the darkest shadows of the neighborhood?  It's not pleasant, in case you were wondering.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

4.  Just because i don't like the dark, doesn't mean i like the light either.  Why haven't they figured out a way to make it only dusk or dawn, 24 hours a day.  Why isn't anyone working on this??

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

5.  I did a bad, bad thing.....

And bought these beautiful, beautiful jeans.  I totally do not have the extra cash to be buying pants right now.  But seriously, my snaggle knees have ripped through all my jeans, and i am starting to get looks from the higher ups at work for frequently dressing like a transient.  They were just so beautiful and i needed them!  Don't tell Matt...although he will figure it out when i come home and look FABULOUS.
Also, i might have bought two pairs....

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6.  Also the aforementioned jeans?

Covered in a fine shellac of nilla wafer crumbs already.  So they made it about two hours.  I hate myself.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

7.  So the other day the receptionist sent me an email saying a package from target was here for me, naturally, i assumed they read my blog, realized that my only desire is candy corn oreos, and so they shipped me some.  What actually happened in the receptionist meant to type Kara, who had ordered something.  I have no oreos right now, and i am crushed.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  With the Chicago marathon a little over three weeks away, i am becoming a complete diva.  Matt invited his BFF and his wife to come stay in chicago for a weekend.  The only weekend they can make it is marathon weekend.  WTF?  why isn't my schedule always priority number one??  I need peace!  I need quiet! I need to have my pre-marathon zen space!  I have a strict pre-race diet!  ME ME ME ME ME!!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

9. It's September....

10. AND STILL 90 DEGREES.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.