Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Marathon's are such a first world problem.

I left my camera at home, so all images will be expressed through memes, animated gif's and someecards.  Your welcome.

1.  I was limping my way through a walk with waffles yesterday evening, and i encountered a man walking his dogs who apparently knew my name and training schedule.  Just as i was about to call for an adult, he said that he and Matt run into each other at the dog park frequently and chit chat.  He asked how training was going, and i just exploded with all my frustrations over my stupid calf, and not being able to run, and the race being 2 1/2 weeks out.  He actually ended up looking at the calf muscle, despite having no medical background.  He expressed his sympathies though.  It was a strange encounter.
"Hey, I just met you,And this is crazy,But here's my calf muscle,So call me, maybe crazy?"


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  I have been a total nutcase all week, mostly because i haven't been venting all my excess energy through running.  I am going to attack the next person that asks me if i am ready for the marathon.  I'm not ready.  In fact, i won't be ready until i am about 10 miles into that baby.  That's just how i roll.
Approaching the finish line of the Chicago Half Marathon

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

3.  I'm not quite sure what happened yesterday, but i entered my car with a bag of kraft caramels, but after sitting in traffic for an hour, i arrived home and those caramels were gone!  The obvious assumption i know you are all thinking is that i ate them all.  But i don't recall doing that!  The obvious presence of a blackout period would imply that i was abducted by aliens, who confiscated my caramels before returning me to my car.  (if we have learned anything from the x-files.)

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

4.  I was sitting on the couch eating a triscuit on monday (FINE, a box of triscuits) and Waffles was peacefully sitting next to me, presumably napping.  In a split second, that monster stuck her snout INTO MY MOUTH to retrieve the triscuit i was chewing, and eat it herself.  She literally stole food right out of my mouth as i was chewing it.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5.  I have a splinter in my tongue from a popsicle stick.  You have no idea how painful it is.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6.  So far i have found candy corn oreos, candy corn colored peeps, candy corn EVERYTHING except candy corn itself.  Do you think the drought has something to do with this?  Was the corn crop of the candy variety also affected??  Oh, what a world!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

7.  My dear friend Aaron that is supposed to be running the marathon with me has still only completed one training run.  About 7 weeks ago.  I have a strong hunch that i will be running this baby all alone, much like the 20 miler.  sigh.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8.  As it gets chilly, i have realized that in the upcoming months, i will have no choice but to buy waffles a sweater.  I am going to be the girl that has a dog that wears a sweater.  I am inconsolable.  Actually, i am just going to try and fashion her a poncho out of dish towel, a la pinterest!


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

9.  I switch off between two pairs of shoes (long runs and short runs) only i have not kept track of mileage per shoes at all.  So each pair has somewhere between 1 and 1,000,000 miles on them.  Why don't these things have counters on them??  I don't have time for routine math.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  American Horror Story, basically the scariest most awesome tv show ever, starts in a few weeks.  I am already having nightmares based on the 30 second preview.  Who has nightmares from previews???  This isn't even HBO!  I'm in trouble.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

20 comments:

  1. ha! I just bought Rudy his first fall fleece...complete with pumpkins and the like...I even have pictures on the blog today...I think he likes it secretly. ;-)

    UGH....the calf!!

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    1. I was secretly online dog-wear shopping and totally found leg warmers for whippets (a similar breed) I might have to do it.

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  2. American Horror Story needs to get released on Netflix STAT. I wanna watch it!!! That's my FWP for the day.

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    1. for real, i could watch season one over and over, if it wasn't so pee your pants terrifying...

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  3. You are too funny! I especially love the "call me maybe" reference as well as the Candy Corn Drought picture.

    I get a ton of folks asking me if I'm ready for the marathon, too. I read somewhere that even with the best training, it is not physically possible to be "ready" for this distance (unless you are Kenyan, presumably). But that's probably too much detail for the casual marathon inquiry, LOL.

    A splinter in your tongue!?!?!? GOOD GOD!!! I can't even imagine how much that would hurt!!! I hope it heals quickly!!!

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    1. It's the worst! It's my own fault for chewing on the popsicle stick though. lesson learned.

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  4. I guess I need to start stockpiling candy corn this fall in case there is another candy corn drought next year. For Waffles sake, at least she ate a Triscuit out of your mouth and not candy corn! There likely would have been trouble!

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    1. had i known, i wouldn't have eaten through my stockpile from last year so quickly.....this candy corn addiction is teaching me alot about supply and demand though!

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  5. I don't ever keep the mileage on my shoes. Math is hard. I wore one pair maybe 3 times and ready to retire them for a hot pink pair I want to wear in a couple of races coming up.

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  6. If it helps you feel any better I don't keep track of the miles on my shoes either.

    I have found candy corn in Spokane and was also abducted by aliens on my 2 mile commute home because by the time I got home my candy corn was gone and I don't remember eating the whole bag to myself. It wasn't just any candy corn, it was carmel candy corn. Those damn aliens.

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  7. You are MORE than welcome to hang in corral L with me and Michelle and run with us. Just sayin.

    I bought a bag of twizzlers (hello pms impulse buy) and hid them in a drawer (hoarded) and i opened it to get one (or 4) and they were GONE. Someome MUST have found my hiding place. It's the only explanation...

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    1. Maybe i will! Although i am pretty sure you will want to strangle me before the end, i get super bratty in between miles 20-26....

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  8. What Bobbi said! She just read my mind...I know you are faster than I am, but you can help push me to a sub 5hr race! Corral L is for the cool kids, just sayin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. I just started keeping track of miles because the last time I didn't I had IT band issues for at least a month. Not trying that one again!!

    Ouch on the tongue splinter? Just think that you are giving yourself plenty of rest to have fresh legs :)

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  10. I swear I saw candy corn at walgreens over a month ago.

    do you have a stick? I swear by mine..

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  11. Seriously, how do people keep up with the shoe miles?! I just figure if I start to hate them or they get a giant hole in them, they're out.

    But are you ready for the marathon yet? Kidding -- don't attack me!:)

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  12. Haha I love your FWP posts! I would seriously freak out if a random man would start to touch my calve. I'm so paranoid.

    Splinter in your tongue?? How does that happen to someone?

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  13. LOL! Waffles! I cannot believe she grabbed at triscuit out of your mouth. Wait. Yes I can. She is too funny!

    Stuipid effin' calf. I hope the rest now leaves you so refreshed you don't realize you ran a marathon until it's over!

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