Wednesday, February 13, 2013

what the WHAT?!?!

First off, the biggest first world problem in the HISTORY of first world problems has occurred.


1. LADY GAGA CANCELLED ON ME TONIGHT!!!!
BLERGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
My Bff and i see her every year.  I am devastated.  DEVASTATED!
Gaga 2011
Gaga 2012














Gaga 2013   :(  :(   :(   :(
First World Problem :(

2. A bunch of other serious stuff happened, but i was too focused on Gaga's sore joints to edu-macate myself.
Sadly, this is all i can attest to the current state of affairs.  Gaga depression is hurting my brain.  I don't know what the f*** is going on anymore.

First World Problems.

3.  I spent all week perfecting my lady gaga outfit, and now that effort is wasted.  Do you know how hard it is to walk into a Forever 21, and approach the 16 year old folding stuff and ask her to help me choose something gaga-appropriate, because she knows more than me??  It's damn hard, let me tell you.  Also, when did 16 year olds get so tiny?  (or when did i turn into a giant???)

First World Problems.

4.  When and where will i EVER wear this now????
Opportunities to wear things that are wildly age inappropriate and covered in glitter are few and far between.  My heart breaks for this mini-skirt.  It really does....

First World Problems.

5.  So i tried to go to the Dick Pond fun run last night, because i have no one to run with in the evenings, and i am afraid of the dark.  It didn't look that far or hard to get to on the map either.  Fast Forward to an hour later when i am driving around in random circles because park ridge is totally one of the inner circles of hell, navigationally speaking.  Everytime i think i can handle the suburbs, some place like park ridge goes rogue from the grid system and proves me wrong.
Needless to say, at one point, i almost hit ohare.  I eventually gave up and went home in defeat.

None of this is Dick Pond or Park Ridges fault.  I am just an idiot.

First World Problems.

6. During my plight to escape park ridge, i stopped at an Ulta to regain my composure.  I don't know if thats a problem or a solution.  Either way, i spent too much money, but also have an awesome new sparkly eye shadow.  I'll let you be the judge....

First World Problems.

7.  WHY ARE THERE NEVER ENOUGH BRUSSELS SPROUTS?????
First World Problems

8.  Did you hear that to meet demands, Makers Mark has had to dilute their whisky with water, so now it's 84 proof rather than 90 proof.  Honestly, i doubt the taste or ability to get me drunk will be affected, but just to feed into the stereotype of the drunk angry whisky drinker, and i am going to smash things in protest, and then join in the twitter rampage.  (because i am too lazy to leave my comfy chair in the name of my convictions.)

First World Problems

9.  I went to a boxing class with a co-worker monday night.  It was super hard, and my noodle arms still hurt.  Ironically enough, the class was taught by a super petite woman who could destroy me with one arm if need be.  Also she was 8 months pregnant.  It's questionable if i could punch my way out of a paper bag if it came down to it  (although when will i ever need to??)
First World Problems.

10.  I'm too lazy and apathetic to think up a 10.  Also, running is hard.

First World Problems.

23 comments:

  1. Sorry about the Gaga cancellation. That is bad news for the Gaga fans out there. You could maybe have a Gaga sighting at Pitchfork in July, or maybe she will do a stage dive again at Lolla! I didn't appreciate how talented Lady Gaga was until I saw her performance on Howard Stern http://tinyurl.com/c2hb2px. Anyway, I saw 2 dusty 90 proof bottles of Makers Mark at the Jewel yesterday and was tempted to buy them as collectors items! :-)

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    1. I never even thought of that. I am going to hoard all the booze! VWA HA HA!

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  2. Major bummer about Gaga. I think the only other place to wear that skirt (not on Halloween) would be a rave or gay bar? I dunno, I'm 30, I'm old. I have no idea where the kids go these days. I'm guessing raves aren't a thing anymore?

    I once signed up for a kickboxing class, thinking it was an aerobics-style cardio kickboxing class. Nope, he wanted to train us to eventually spar and maybe fight? Either way it was awesome and a good workout.

    I wish my commute wasn't ridiculously long, otherwise I would join you at DPPR for their group runs. But I try to book it out of here by 3:45 (I get here by 7:30).

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    1. we were totally sparring! It was fun because i was with a friend i didn't mind hitting

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  3. Go out and celebrate Gaga style with your BFF on that night instead anyways, people would still get it right??

    Better luck next time on finding Duck Pond! (if you ever dare attempt it again)

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    1. I don't know, get lost once, shame on them, but twice? (ok, whatever, it was still my fault and always will be) :)

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  4. Is it wrong that my first thought is to wear that skirt over running tights in a race? That's probably not practical at all, but I'm searching for something fun and sequined/sparkly for my first half so it just came to mind.

    Kim told me that you work not far from me (I'm in Lincolnshire, but take 94/41 home so I'd probably be close by), so if you ever want to go for a probably slow run after work sometime, let me know! I mean, I'm only in the office two days a week, but maybe?

    Also, there's always a pregnant chick who is about to pop flying past me in every race I do, which always makes me feel good about my skills.

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    1. I think we are more alike than we realize. The only problem is it is skin tight, and it would probably explode off of me in a race. I was once passed in a race by a woman with a double jogging stroller. she wasn't even in the race. just casually out jogging.....sigh.

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    2. Haha, that's happened to me on some of the lakefront races! At least she doesn't also have a baby bjorn strapped on or something.

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    3. Agreed- WEAR IT TO THE BEER RUN

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    4. You're kidding, but I'll DO IT!!!!!!

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  5. Can we also talk about the sizing at Forever 21? and the fact that nobody considers that you will need to wear a bra? Who is designing this stuff because they are not considering my needs.

    I wore a white sparkly dress for my bach party...last time that will ever be appropriate.

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    1. I seriously feel like the jolly green giant in that store, and i am a very average sized person!

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  6. Oh Man...I heard that news this morning on the local radio station. I guess she just had a show in MN and then cancelled the rest....I however, am not a huge Gaga fan so I had no idea it was happening other than hearing about it after from the dj's. ;-)

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    1. yeah, i am a little ashamed to admit i'm a fan, as i am usually the oldest fan there. I just love dressing up so much!

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  7. HOLY CRAP HOW COULD SHE CANCEL ON YOU. What a biotch.

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  8. I wonder if she's really in rehab! Maybe that thought will keep you occupied. Hopefully you're drunk instead!!!

    Btw, have you ever heard Vitamin String Quartet's cover album of Gaga? Best. Running. Music. Ever.

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    1. Last i heard, she is having hip surgery, and the whole tour is cancelled. DEVASTATED!!!

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  9. I am sorry to hear that Gaga cancelled. That is a total bummer. I am jealous you have seen her in concert two times already. I bet she puts on an amazing show! Is the concert going to be rescheduled for a later date? I would hate for that mini skirt to go to waste. It is pretty Gaga spectacular.

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    1. Apparently, i have now been challenged to wear it to a fun run. So i have that going for me. She is definitely a master of theatrics - her shows are really fun, even if you aren't a huge fan!

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  10. I am super old, but I think you should get dressed up with your friend and go out like you are 21. ;)

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  11. Did you see the news last night that she has a labral hip tear and had to cancel the entire tour so she can get surgery? What a freakin' bummer. I would love to see her in concert :( I hope you get a refund? :(

    You are so cute in the boxing pic! I love boxing!!! Are you going back?

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