what the WHAT?!?!

First off, the biggest first world problem in the HISTORY of first world problems has occurred.


1. LADY GAGA CANCELLED ON ME TONIGHT!!!!
BLERGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
My Bff and i see her every year.  I am devastated.  DEVASTATED!

Gaga 2011

Gaga 2012














Gaga 2013   :(  :(   :(   :(

First World Problem :(

2. A bunch of other serious stuff happened, but i was too focused on Gaga's sore joints to edu-macate myself.

Sadly, this is all i can attest to the current state of affairs.  Gaga depression is hurting my brain.  I don't know what the f*** is going on anymore.

First World Problems.

3.  I spent all week perfecting my lady gaga outfit, and now that effort is wasted.  Do you know how hard it is to walk into a Forever 21, and approach the 16 year old folding stuff and ask her to help me choose something gaga-appropriate, because she knows more than me??  It's damn hard, let me tell you.  Also, when did 16 year olds get so tiny?  (or when did i turn into a giant???)

First World Problems.

4.  When and where will i EVER wear this now????

Opportunities to wear things that are wildly age inappropriate and covered in glitter are few and far between.  My heart breaks for this mini-skirt.  It really does....

First World Problems.

5.  So i tried to go to the Dick Pond fun run last night, because i have no one to run with in the evenings, and i am afraid of the dark.  It didn't look that far or hard to get to on the map either.  Fast Forward to an hour later when i am driving around in random circles because park ridge is totally one of the inner circles of hell, navigationally speaking.  Everytime i think i can handle the suburbs, some place like park ridge goes rogue from the grid system and proves me wrong.

Needless to say, at one point, i almost hit ohare.  I eventually gave up and went home in defeat.

None of this is Dick Pond or Park Ridges fault.  I am just an idiot.

First World Problems.

6. During my plight to escape park ridge, i stopped at an Ulta to regain my composure.  I don't know if thats a problem or a solution.  Either way, i spent too much money, but also have an awesome new sparkly eye shadow.  I'll let you be the judge....

First World Problems.

7.  WHY ARE THERE NEVER ENOUGH BRUSSELS SPROUTS?????

First World Problems

8.  Did you hear that to meet demands, Makers Mark has had to dilute their whisky with water, so now it's 84 proof rather than 90 proof.  Honestly, i doubt the taste or ability to get me drunk will be affected, but just to feed into the stereotype of the drunk angry whisky drinker, and i am going to smash things in protest, and then join in the twitter rampage.  (because i am too lazy to leave my comfy chair in the name of my convictions.)

First World Problems

9.  I went to a boxing class with a co-worker monday night.  It was super hard, and my noodle arms still hurt.  Ironically enough, the class was taught by a super petite woman who could destroy me with one arm if need be.  Also she was 8 months pregnant.  It's questionable if i could punch my way out of a paper bag if it came down to it  (although when will i ever need to??)

First World Problems.

10.  I'm too lazy and apathetic to think up a 10.  Also, running is hard.

First World Problems.