fwp.

1. Does it even need to be said that the 90+ temps everyday this week are a huge problem?  Oh it does. Screw you heat.  I am not even going to whine about running in the heat.
Things i will whine about?
Getting into my car when it is 150 degrees, and burning my god damn elbow because the interior is actually beginning to melt.

It might not look like much, but it is honestly a miracle that i survived this.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


2.  I'm also going to whine about what this god-forsaken weather is doing to my hair.  Granted, my 3 year streak of not brushing my hair might have a small influence in this, but regardless, this is what happened to my hair last night:

Yeah, i had to cut those hair-ties out of my hair with a pocket knife, bear grylls style.  If i was ok with existing in these atmospheric conditions, then i would have just moved to the bayou, southern texas, somewhere in the congo, guam, cuba, the innermost circles of hell.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


3. I'm sorry, but in what world?

So apparently we have the time to choreograph an impromptu synchronized cart ballet at the Costco parking lot, but we don't have time to just bring the cart back to the store so that i can have a freaking cart.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


4.  I see this pan-handler everyday on my way to work.  I was going to give him my granola bar the other day, and then i noticed that he was drinking organic orange juice.  Are you KIDDING ME?  I can't even afford organic orange juice!  In fact, i thought i hit it big when i switched from tang to tropicana!  You should be giving charity to ME, friend.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


5.  This:

Is the form i need to renew my city of chicago sticker.  Thanks Waffles.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.


6.  I may have mentioned that Matt and i have been playing the license plate game for the past 8 months.  (find all 50 states)  We had been at a stalemate for months because of the lack of both Delaware and Idaho.  Well -

BAM. Delaware.

BAM.  IDAHO!

So suck it, Matt.  Game over.
But seriously, sitting in traffic is back to sucking.  What do people do when they are not endangering the lives of themselves and others by trying to photograph license plates while driving???
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


7. I have officially downgraded the Zombie apocalypse warning level back to yellow.  Not because we are any safer, but because i have eaten all the emergency rations in my car and at my desk.  :(

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


8.  It took us 32 years to figure out that the dingo ate the baby?  REALLY?

Well, at least the judicial system has got their shit together.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


9.  In world news, they were reporting last night that Hosni Mubarek is mostly dead.  Mostly dead?  Am i the only one who can only think the princess bride right now?

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


10.  In an earth-shattering shocker:  Bristol Palin's reality show is vapid and uninteresting.

No really, people are surprised by this.  But, these are the same people who gave this moron a show, if it's any indicator.  Thank god Jersey Shore will be back soon so we can have some culture in our lives.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.