Well, for the second week in a row, my attempt at speed training was ugly and terrible. Only this time it literally tried to kill me.
My thought was to have a warm up mile, two miles at tempo pace (whatever that is...a tempo pace for me is a normal pace for most people) and a mile cool down. Instead, i was a 1 mile warm up, about 1.5 mile tempo, asthma attack, and a half mile walk. Having an asthma attack is kinda the worst thing ever. You're running along, looking cool (well not me, but some people) and then all of a sudden it's like someone turned off the oxygen. You breathe in, but you don't get any air. And then if you're me (be grateful you aren't), you panic and make everything ten times worse.
It's like nature doesn't want me to improve at running. My legs felt fine, my brain felt fine, but my lungs were like "awwww HELLLLL no. we're done here." So apparently, speed is just not my thing.
Regardless, the experience left me with two pieces of core knowledge:
1. I have no idea what i am doing.
2. My asthma is kinda outta control this winter.
Obviously, i need to stop being a doofus and have my inhaler on me at all times, no matter how bulky and #runnerdy it makes me look. But the speed training is a mystery to me. And i can't be doing it right if it is ending in an asthma attack. All the guides say things like run your 5k pace for half a mile! run your 10k pace for 2 miles! seriously? My pace for any distance is don't die or look like you're dying. I don't have a set pace for ANY distance. I ran one 10k last year, and it was 95 degrees, and i think my pace ended up being like 9:50/mile. Is that my 10k pace then?
Why is speed training so mysterious? perhaps i'll never know or understand how to speed train. I will spend my life and my fortune (ha) desperately searching for the answers, much like the people still investigating the disappearance of Amelia Earhart (spoiler: she crashed the f***ing plane. But seriously, why are we still spending money to investigate this one??)
Or maybe someone will be able to dumb it down enough for me to understand through stick figures and smiley faces. Either way. It's hard and exhausting and confusing. But i suppose it's supposed to be that way....
What am i complaining about? At least I'm not Lance Armstrong....
Suck it, Lance Armstrong.