Grocery shopping? Over it.

Thanks for everyone who put up with my whining yesterday.  And double thanks to anyone who actually chanced it and came back today.  It sounds like a lot of us are in the same boat, and i take a small comfort in that.  And i am excited just to run an event with so many awesome people leaving me in the dust, and cheering from the sidelines, near and far!

Yesterday afternoon, i was worried about what the eff i would write about today, with my lack of problems this past week.  Then i had to go get groceries.  

Ask, and you shall receive.

1.  So i woke up this morning to a particularly snarky letter from the condo board about dogs being off leash in public areas.  There are actually lots of dogs in the building, and some of them do run around in the "courtyard" but never waffles, because i just don't trust her.  Apparently dogs have to be leashed at all times, even in the freaking stairway.  Granted, my dog does break into peoples apartments, but it is cute and lovable.  This minor inconvenience of leashing my dog in the hallway to go downstairs has sent me into a rage.

Sorry my 15lb barkless, hypo-allergenic, no-shed, super-friendly dog is such a threat to everyone.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  Matt woke me up in the middle of the night yelling about a giant spider, and then trailing off to straight up jibberish, and then falling back asleep.  While he proceeded to peacefully slumber the rest of the night, i was curled up in a ball, wide awake and ready to defend myself against this so-called giant spider.  He remembers none of this.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

3.  Why is it that every time i have to swing by the grocery store after a sweaty and gross run, i am looking for something impossible to find without assistance.  I have actually had a guy at whole foods touch my back while attempting to point me in the right direction, only to recoil in horror by the fact that i am soaking wet.  I am so sorry, chicagoland grocery stores....

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

4.  This is what happens when i am at the grocery store after running 8 miles....

Seriously, what was i thinking?  Why did i buy this? What the eff am i going to do with this?  We don't have ice cream or hot cocoa.  I have problems.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5.  This happens too.

Sadly though, by the time i got home, it was too late to drink it, because i can't have that much sugar before my 9pm bedtime, otherwise I would have been the one having giant spider nightmares.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

6.  I'm finally at an age where i find getting carded for things flattering, but this one crossed the line.

Really?  Your going to card me for buying vanilla extract???  I'm sorry that you have me confused with a troublesome teen, rather than a poor girl who just wants to make some god damn muffins.  Obviously, i wasted 10 minutes fighting with them about this, rather than just show them my ID.  FYI, if you are a problematic teen, who goes around to all the Trader Joe's hoarding the Pure Bourbon Vanilla Extract, you're a freaking moron.  And, they're on to you.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

7.  ummmm....

YOU'RE THE SAME THING!  I AM SO FREAKING ON TO YOUR SCAM, FIRST WORLD!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

8.  I have told Matt about a dozen times to stop putting the lemons next to the onions, because it makes them mold.  We have lost like 8 lemons in the past two weeks because of this oversight.  I turn my back for one second, and what happens?

Seriously??

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

9.  The whole reason i even went to the store was to buy cracked wheat so i could make tabouleh (tabouli? tabbouli?)  Do you think i could find this anywhere in the entire store?  NO.  I spent 40 minutes, and enlisted 3 clerks on this mission, and still failed.  Finally, i purchased this, because it was the grain most resembling cracked wheat visually.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  And here's the shocker.  It turned out to be some kind of oatmeal-like kosher breakfast cereal, and the meal was an epic fail.  This is why i should not ever be put in charge of the groceries.  EVER.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!