|Yea, THAT just happened!|
I also spent that two hours trying to sleuth and figure out what the hell happened to make the traffic so bad. You can usually find clues laying along the side of the highway. A fender here, a headlight there....
I saw plenty of fender bender remnants, but non of those should be enough to lead to a two hour gridlock. At one point, i saw tons of little white foam pellets all along the side of the highway, and a trail of them went on for two miles. Obviously, being the master mind that i am, i was able to crack the case. The only solution is that a bean bag chair and a giant inflatable snow-globe lawn ornament had a throw down in the middle of the highway, a throwdown which they both lost, resulting in their pellet-y insides being spewed across the highway, and creating a monumental traffic jam as spectators tried to flee in horror.
Don't worry, i'm not quitting my day job.