Monday, December 5, 2011

The race that damn near killed me.

I don't know why i have these illusions of grandeur, i really, really don't.  I signed up for this race thinking i would end my "season" on high note.  I really don't run much in december, and i am cool with that.  I wanted this one last chance to dip below two hours for my half time.  It seemed totally doable.  I ran a 2:02 in Cincy, and i ran just under 9 minute miles for that 10 miler. I assumed that because this was a "turkey trot" half marathon, it would be fun and casual.

BREAKING NEWS: i'm a moron.

This was by far the most competitive race i have ever run! Matt dropped me off at the packet pick up, and i had to take a trolley to the start line.  I was creepily spying overhearing everyone around me, and most people were like, "ughhhh, i should actually be running 30 miles today, i am being sooooo lazy" While i am sitting there thinking "uuuughhhhh, don't throw up all the wine you have been drinking for the past week straight."
Not the best way to go into a race.  It was also cold.  Apparently the year before when they ran the race it was about 28 degrees, so while it was a balmy 40 degrees, it was still cold, and i was out of breath just standing in line to use the port-a-potty.  (it is soooo time to get an inhaler.) I located a 2:00 pace group, and figured i would hang with them as long as i could, but the windy, windy cold was getting to me, and i  knew breathing would be an issue.  I figured, i will keep up as long as i can, and then pull back when i need to.  There is no need to kill myself for this race.  We started out ok, and i kept up with the pace group for about 3 miles.  I kept getting further behind at the water stations because they didnt stop, and i didn't care enough to catch up.  Around mile 4, it started to rain.  And it continued to rain for the next 10 miles.  It actually rained ALL DAY LONG.  I was so cold, and wet, and miserable.  I was coughing up copious amounts of phlegm, and i managed to get mascara in my eye rendering me damn near blind.  Did i mention i was cold, wet, and miserable?  ok good.  I actually started crying around mile 9.  I don't deal with being cold and wet very well, obviously.  Matt had chosen to wait out the race in the car because of the obviously impending rain.  smart man.  We actually had to run past the finish like at mile 10, and then do a separate out and back for the last 3 miles.  That killed me.  I just wanted to sneak out and finish.  But then i saw Matt!  he was waiting for me at the 10 mile mark!
smiling through the tears.
Right before he took this, i actually had my fingers to my temple like a gun.  No words, just emotions....I finished in 2:11, which is horrible, but i felt a little better because everyone seemed to be about 5-10 minutes behind where they wanted to be, even the pace groups!  (i actually finished before the 2:10 pace group, if thats any indication of the suck level that occured that day.)  

We finished, and i grabbed a mushy bagel and soggy popcorn, and we ran to the car, where i promptly blasted the heat at 800 degrees.  Unfortunately, the parking situation was a huge issue for this race, and it took us 30 minutes to get out of the parking lot, which sucks for Matt more than anything because i whined the whole time.  
This race hurt me.  The cold made me really sore, and i was undertrained, and i think my soul was a little damaged....
On the plus side though, i love the race shirt.  Its really simple and black and i can't stop wearing it.  I would consider running the race again just for the shirt.  And revenge.  I would do it for revenge.
Way to go, cluckie, you god damn slave driving stuffed chicken.


  1. HA! I totally I have some races I want to do again for revenge!

    PS found your blog by stalking comments on a recent Skinny Runner post (the one asking for Chicago runners). I'm in the south burbs (which suck mostly but I make the best of it).

  2. I love the south burbs! I have a friend who grew up in naperville and every once in a blue moon he agrees to run with me in exchange for a brief cessation in my nagging. There's an awesome trail down there, Palos heights, i think. Is that even south? Runners there were pretty fast!! Doing any local races next year??

  3. I ran this race too, with the same delusional thoughts that I can EASILY get sub 2. Eh, not so much....I wanted to run with the 2 hour group...I spent 3 miles chasing them because the starting line bottle necked and then I hung with them until 10 miles when I started was not a fun way to end the season..but you're right, loved the race shirt.....

    1. Is it wrong that even though this race actually caused me to quit running for a month i will still probably run it next year for the shirt??