Oh, is it Wednesday?

1. My marathon is in 25 days.  I am so scared i could cry.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  Kara Gouchers 1 year old son has a blog chronicling her road to the Olympics in London.  Not only is a baby much funnier and more interesting that i am, it turns out that despite being just a baby, he is also faster than me.  And cuter than me.  Damn you, Goucher family, why are you so awesome!!  I tried to see if waffles would write a blog post for me, since she is technically my baby, but this is all i got-

kafgh,kl,k  h 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000hflx xk. ,ggggggjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj .s dfghsdfgl dflgk sdflgh

She is an intense puppy.

Then i asked if Matt would be my Adam Goucher and blog on my behalf.  To which he said "your blog is lame."  I get no love here.  No love.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

3.  Everyone has warned me about "taper madness."  It makes sense, that when you prepare for something for months, that you tend to freak out a little in the few weeks before the big day.  Its the same thing with pregnancy jitters and bridezillas, and senioritis.  However, nobody ever warned me about "pre-taper madness" in which i am fully infected (My taper doesn't even start until next week!)  All i can think about is the race.  And because there are still 15 days before i can obsessively check the 10-day weather report, i have taken to obsessively checking the farmers almanac, and historic weather facts.  The weird thing is that information never changes.  I just keep looking at it.  Did you know that on May 20, 1983 it was 66 degrees? and on May 20, 1994 it was 84 degrees?  Now you do.  Somebody stop me.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

4.  I have been really sad lately that despite being a working professional with a masters degrees, I am living paycheck to paycheck.  I have a relatively low amount of student loans, especially compared to the national average, but it still sucks up all my extra money.  This just seems so wrong, that everyone finishes school, and then spends 15 years eating ramen and scrambling to pay rent.  WTF, America?  its been a main topic at a lot of Obama's recent speeches.  Did you know that him and Michele only paid off their student loans in the past seven years?? What does that mean for me???

i do not.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5. Just gonna throw this out there - 

NOT A CAR!!!!  Do not go cruising down the street at 15mph thinking you are a going at a comparable speed to my automobile!  You are not Lance Armstrong!!! Also, you are not going too fast to stop at a stop sign.  SO STOP AT IT.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

6.  I have two pairs of the exact same shoe.  

The only difference is color.  For some reason, the silver pair hurts my ankle.  The pink pair never does.  WTF? I hate to complain, but there is an 8 year old in Malaysia that is obviously slacking right now.  Think of it like a video game kid - a fun video game where you make my shoes properly!  It'll all be alright. 

FIRST WORLD PROBLEM (although, really - this problem is totally the third worlds fault.)

7.  I heard on the news today that the amount of illegal immigrants from Mexico is actually decreasing.  That means people who came here are leaving, because the think it sucks here.  All i can think about is the South Park episode where butters ends up illegally immigrating to Mexico, and becomes a god.

The times, they are a changin.

Also, i obviously have a very poor understanding of current events.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8. My hands still smell like shallots from Sunday's cooking class!  HOW???

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

9.  What do i even say about this 40lb cat.  How does a cat even get to be 40lbs???  And why does everyone always go after the owner?  Obviously the cat was overfed, but if he doesn't have the self control to stop eating the food when he is full, then that is a personal problem. Lets stop pointing fingers.  Get it together, Meow!  Only you can change this. 

And for that matter, if you chose to be this way, thats fine.  Don't conform to the pressures of society to be thin.  You do whatever you want.  Because you're a cat.  And your name is Meow.  And because you are now more famous than any of us will ever be.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

10.  Am i the only one who finds this offensive??

You can't just add bell peppers to corn and call it "Mexicorn"  that is so politically incorrect!  I don't know how companies sneak this stuff into our cabinets.  Its like if you put bamboo shoots in with the corn, you could call it "China-corn."  I don't know why i was offended by this.  Maybe its just the idea of canned corn in general that offends me.  Frozen is so much better.  I'm just gonna stop now.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.