FWP Wednesday.

1.  The biggest of my first world problems this week is that Matt lost his job.  Here's how it went down - Matt had generously informed them that he would be leaving because of inability to work with his boss (due to the reason that he is a total f***ing psychopath- i know, he used to be my boss.) So they discuss him staying for a while to wrap up projects.  When the psychopath boss finds out, he fires him.  for quitting.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  You can't quit!  YOU'RE FIRED! Now go get unemployment!  I seriously fear for this mans ability to reason.  It's a.... 

....FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.


2.  Because Matt is now unemployed, and a little salty about he way things went down, he proceeded to drink his sorrows last night, and i don't blame him.  I am however, desperate to know what the hell went on last night after i went to sleep.  I went to take the dog out this morning, and noticed that a piece of the leash was missing, as well as all the doggy bags.  When i got to the bottom of the stairs, i found the piece of the leash.  When i got outside, i found the roll of doggy bags wrapped around a tree, ironically enough, next to a piece of waffles poop.  What the hell happened??  I am baffled!! and sad that i missed what must have been an amazing scene of a drunk guy trying to pick up poop.

I always miss all the fun.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS


3.  I cannot tell a lie.  I cheated and ate candy this lent.  But karma got the better of me, and when i tried to enhale this cadbury egg, i ended up eating half the foil because i was so excited, and the foil was kind of stuck to the egg in parts, and there was just NO TIME FOR EXTRACTION.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


4. Speaking of tasty treats, did anyone see this in the news yesterday?  Apparently, there was an attack at the forever yogurt on North Ave.  (which i frequent way too often.)  Here's the kicker, the assault weapon was hot caramel sauce.  Apparently an angry customer flung the caramel at an employee in a fit of rage.  WTF?  She was later arrested near the train stop, but seriously, who wastes hot caramel??  Prosecute that bitch!!

Also, as a general rule, people are more than welcome to assault me with hot caramel anytime - in and around my mouth.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


5.  I know that a couple weeks ago slow cook oats were on this list for their obnoxious 30 minute cook time, but now that their gone, i miss them.  And i'm hungry.  :(

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


6.  Did anyone see Madmen this weekend?  Am i a bad person because i hate Betty Draper/Francis less now that she's super fat?

It's easier to tolerate her when she's fat.  If a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, than a 50 lb fat suit definitely helps betty draper not make me want to punch her.  as much.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


7.  I ran 41 miles last week, and all daily mile gave me was a "super".  Are you F***ing kidding me??  I need more encouragement than that?  SUPER?  How about epic?  Mind-blowing?  PHENOMENAL??  just super?  why am i even doing this.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


8. What is with the haterade lately?  Maggie brought it up here a couple months ago.  I have become very aware of people at work not liking me because i run.  I apologize that i am in great shape and have buns of steel from the 40 miles i am putting in every week.  Oh wait, no, no i don't apologize.  at all.  It's not like i am rubbing it in peoples faces either, i don't wear my medals around the office.  And i have only wore my running shoes to work once, and that was because i somehow got all the way to my car and realized i wasn't wearing shoes, and was too lazy to go back for some.  ONE TIME!


Sorry i don't get drunk and go dancing every weekend.  I get drunk and run marathons.  

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


9.  Speaking of haterade, i made my first ever "G-foxxx's mortal enemy list" It goes as follows:


     1.  13.1 half marathon.  Seriously, i am super pissed at you, and will continue to bad mouth you as long as i have fingers that can type how much you suck..  you brought this upon yourself.
     2.  Jim Warner.  You are like the AIDS of the packaging design community.  I sit and dream of the day i will throw a glass of red wine at you at a business event.  That day, justice will be mine!


Actually thats the whole list.  I am really not good at making enemy lists.  Word of warning though - stay off the list.  


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS


10.  They're on to me.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.