Wednesday, April 4, 2012

FWP Wednesday.

1.  The biggest of my first world problems this week is that Matt lost his job.  Here's how it went down - Matt had generously informed them that he would be leaving because of inability to work with his boss (due to the reason that he is a total f***ing psychopath- i know, he used to be my boss.) So they discuss him staying for a while to wrap up projects.  When the psychopath boss finds out, he fires him.  for quitting.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  You can't quit!  YOU'RE FIRED! Now go get unemployment!  I seriously fear for this mans ability to reason.  It's a.... 


....FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.


2.  Because Matt is now unemployed, and a little salty about he way things went down, he proceeded to drink his sorrows last night, and i don't blame him.  I am however, desperate to know what the hell went on last night after i went to sleep.  I went to take the dog out this morning, and noticed that a piece of the leash was missing, as well as all the doggy bags.  When i got to the bottom of the stairs, i found the piece of the leash.  When i got outside, i found the roll of doggy bags wrapped around a tree, ironically enough, next to a piece of waffles poop.  What the hell happened??  I am baffled!! and sad that i missed what must have been an amazing scene of a drunk guy trying to pick up poop.
I always miss all the fun.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS


3.  I cannot tell a lie.  I cheated and ate candy this lent.  But karma got the better of me, and when i tried to enhale this cadbury egg, i ended up eating half the foil because i was so excited, and the foil was kind of stuck to the egg in parts, and there was just NO TIME FOR EXTRACTION.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


4. Speaking of tasty treats, did anyone see this in the news yesterday?  Apparently, there was an attack at the forever yogurt on North Ave.  (which i frequent way too often.)  Here's the kicker, the assault weapon was hot caramel sauce.  Apparently an angry customer flung the caramel at an employee in a fit of rage.  WTF?  She was later arrested near the train stop, but seriously, who wastes hot caramel??  Prosecute that bitch!!
Also, as a general rule, people are more than welcome to assault me with hot caramel anytime - in and around my mouth.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


5.  I know that a couple weeks ago slow cook oats were on this list for their obnoxious 30 minute cook time, but now that their gone, i miss them.  And i'm hungry.  :(
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


6.  Did anyone see Madmen this weekend?  Am i a bad person because i hate Betty Draper/Francis less now that she's super fat?
It's easier to tolerate her when she's fat.  If a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, than a 50 lb fat suit definitely helps betty draper not make me want to punch her.  as much.


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


7.  I ran 41 miles last week, and all daily mile gave me was a "super".  Are you F***ing kidding me??  I need more encouragement than that?  SUPER?  How about epic?  Mind-blowing?  PHENOMENAL??  just super?  why am i even doing this.
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


8. What is with the haterade lately?  Maggie brought it up here a couple months ago.  I have become very aware of people at work not liking me because i run.  I apologize that i am in great shape and have buns of steel from the 40 miles i am putting in every week.  Oh wait, no, no i don't apologize.  at all.  It's not like i am rubbing it in peoples faces either, i don't wear my medals around the office.  And i have only wore my running shoes to work once, and that was because i somehow got all the way to my car and realized i wasn't wearing shoes, and was too lazy to go back for some.  ONE TIME!


Sorry i don't get drunk and go dancing every weekend.  I get drunk and run marathons.  
FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.


9.  Speaking of haterade, i made my first ever "G-foxxx's mortal enemy list" It goes as follows:


     1.  13.1 half marathon.  Seriously, i am super pissed at you, and will continue to bad mouth you as long as i have fingers that can type how much you suck..  you brought this upon yourself.
     2.  Jim Warner.  You are like the AIDS of the packaging design community.  I sit and dream of the day i will throw a glass of red wine at you at a business event.  That day, justice will be mine!


Actually thats the whole list.  I am really not good at making enemy lists.  Word of warning though - stay off the list.  


FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS


10.  They're on to me.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

18 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear about his job loss. I hope we hear what happended

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    1. I think he is upset because he wanted to leave on good terms, but it was a very toxic job. I would rather suffer in poverty for a while then see him half to work another day there!

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about Matt! At least he's out of there? Fingers crossed he finds something ASAP.

    BETTY IS FAT??? I haven't watched the episode yet. I can't stand her though so this sorta makes me happy..

    13.1 is forever on my hate list too.

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    1. Dude, i seriously hope i didn't ruin it for you. Matt and i both screamed when we saw her. it's so amazing.

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  3. probably not a good time to tell you i won a free entry to 13.1 on another blog..........no, ok, i won't tell you. maybe your hatred will make you run super fast?

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    1. ok, how could you have NOT won free entry?? they are basically throwing them at people like it's tshirt gun. You can't like the race though - thats my only demand. Or if you do like, say you hate it anyway. :D

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  4. Awesome. Love the drunken "fun" that you missed. LOL! At least he took out the dog! Hehehehehe!

    And I totally think the runner hating should be against the law....and I wear my running shoes to work EVERY day (thanks to plantar fasciitis).

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    1. The best part is, he has no recollection. So we will never know. Unless i can somehow find security footage from out building.

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  5. Hahaha I think we all wish we'd been there for that drunken hilarity. I also have found people get irritated when they find out I "run". Wtf they can do it too...

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    1. Yeah, it's not like we're skllfully crafting Faberge eggs. most people can run. where's the love?

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  6. Ugh! Sorry that Matt was trying to end of good terms and his boss had to be a dick. I hope he has a new plan, since that was cut short!

    41 is stellar, imho! And I am sorry people are giving you crap about running. They do it to me too. I don't understand why people are so interested in my life. I don't even find it that interesting!

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    1. I really think it comes from people with no interests/hobbies/talents. They are just so bored!

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  7. OMG so sorry to hear about Matt and his psycho former boss. I've BTDT and it's no fun. On to bigger, better and more $$$ though right?
    Do tell: Why all the 13.1 hate?
    I ran I think 16 last week and DM said 'here's your training' and I thought the same as you: WTF?? DM must have been crabby.

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    1. I am on a blogosphere rampage against the 13.1 race because myself and two other bloggers were excluded from the dozens of free entries they gave to every other chicago running blogger! It's basically like they spit on my blog. (sadly i had already registered - never again!!)

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  8. Add me to the list of bloggers who were dissed so you're in good company. I'm doing Ragnar though so wouldn't have done it anyway but still.

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    1. ugh! would totally rather be doing ragnar. i will just focus my energies on protesting the race as i run it.

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  9. Haha, thanks for the shout out! The people at your office would HATE me. I change into my running clothes at work, and often traipse around in my running shorts, asking my co-worker (who is a runner) on my way out if he's going running after work. Yes, I do that purposely in my running clothes to make him feel guilty if the answer is anything other than "YES RUNNING IS AWESOME."

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    1. oh my god, please come to my office. We could be a unified ginger running front.

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