It's official - I'm cursed. Where ever i go, the yellow warning flag, it follows. I think this picture just about sums up how i am feeling right now:
Yeah, i'm pretty pissed off and wallowing in my own misery. I could write a long post just whining about how i have the worst luck in the world, and how scared i am, and sad that any chance of a respectable time just went out the window. OR i could write a post about just training for this has overcome all the odds, and that the most important thing is that i finish.
I assure you, i will do neither of those things. Instead of my traditional First World Problems post, today i bring you: People with bigger FWP's than me!
1. Francois Hollande
I'm sorry, but if within hours of being elected the new president of France your plane is struck by lightening, i would be peeing my pants scared of what the next four years of your Presidency hold. I have five hours of mother nature hating me, but you my friend, you have five years.
2. Basically anyone in Greece. Or Spain. Or Syria. Actually, that whole general area seems to be having some general issues lately.
Whats worse than running a molten lava hot marathon? Living in Greece. I kid. But not really. They have problems.
3. Any animal within a half mile radius of Lady Gaga.
God forbid i be the only asshole to bring up how many starving children could have feasted off of one of your MANY meaty ensembles. SERIOUSLY.
Seriously, i am a crazy bitch this week. I pity all of you who have been reading my blog lately, but this poor kid lives with me. When you look him in the eye, all you see is suffering. I'm sorry Matt. Also, go get me a popsicle.
5. This guy who was bitten by a rattlesnake in a walmart.
Seriously. He was bitten by a rattlesnake. IN A WALMART.
6. This guy, picketing an all you can eat fish fry establishment.
How dare you advertise unlimited fried fish and then try to cut a man off after 20 pieces. What has the world come too?? WHAT CAN WE BELIEVE IN????
7. This poor Dead Girl.
Whose tuberculosis was misdiagnosed as "lovesickness" It's an honest mistake. I mix the two up all the time. Fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, coughing up blood - it's like they are the same illness. Thank god we have WebMD.
8. Whoever was in charge of printing all these signs.
I think you might have made a mistake, friend.
9. Fat Betty Draper
Watching Betty Draper try to lose weight on madmen is heart-breaking. Poor Betty Draper....You just have to stop eating so much girl! Be patient. I actually like you better fat. (and did anyone else see that avocados were on the list of foods not to eat in her weight watchers meeting? People were crazy in the 1960's)
10. Lindsay Lohan
Do i really need to say anymore? She looks old enough to be my grandma.