FWP - personal failures edition!

1. Driving safely to work.  I was attacked by a moth on Monday morning during my commute.  Rather than calmly and rationally opening a window and patiently waiting for him to exit of his own accord, i started screaming, swerving, and (unsuccessfully) trying to photograph it for the blog.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

2.  Guarding my belongings.  I was the last person to leave work Friday, and i left a six pack of soda in the very back corner of my desk area (not easily accessible)  I drank one at work on Friday, but when i came into work Monday morning, i discovered this:

SERIOUSLY???? Where is the 5th can? Who just goes into someone's space and takes there food items??? I feel so violated!  What kind of world do we live in where someone just takes a soda from someone's desk like its some kind of COMMUNAL SODA??  WE ARE NOT COMMUNISTS, buy your own soda!!!

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

3.  Teaching. In response to a previous post, i finally taught Matt how to use a can opener.  He was in no way grateful, and actually criticized the can opener as an inferior tool.  This coming from the guy opening cans with an oyster shucker.  See if i mentor people in the future.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

4. Basic administrative functions.  My phone has been blinking for over a week now because i have a voicemail.  I have no idea how to check it.  I have been at my job for two years.  There is no way i can ask IT for help with this at this point.  I don't what makes me more sad - the fact that i can't use the voicemail, or the fact that this is my first voicemail.  In two years.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

5. Banking.  I went to the drive through bank because i get sick of them trying to get me to sign up for crap everytime i go inside.  And i vaguely remember always getting candy from the drive through bank as a child.  I pulled up, and ended up sitting there for 10 minutes.  Waiting for them to help me, or give me candy, or SOMETHING.  It turns out you have to push a call button to initiate the transaction.  So i sat there like an asshole for 10 minutes.  I was so blinded by my candy anticipation that i never thought about the logistics.  Also, i didn't get candy.  FML.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS

6.  Puppy parenting.  Waffles has her first test on friday for puppy class, and she is supposed to be able to sit.  I can tell you right now - she doesn't sit.  I even tried forcing her butt into the sit position, and she just flops onto her back.

Not. Even. Close.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

7. Choosing races that won't kill me.  I have been so obsessed with weather reports for the day of the marathon that i completely forgot to check the weather for the half marathon i am running this weekend in Cincinnati.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME OHIO???

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

8. Tapering.  This sucks, and i don't know what to do with myself.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

9.  GPS skills.  My Garmin is stuck on Kilometers, and i can't get it to change back.  It is seriously messing with my head.  I do not understand the metric system at all, and i can't tell if i am running really fast or really slow.  

I've given up at this point and accepted that i either need to buy a new watch, or embrace the metric system.  

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS, EH.

10. Social Networking.  As you saw, my twitter account got hacked.  I feel violated.  I got it from another girls twitter, but i am angry, because i didn't open anything, or click on any links.  I rarely even use twitter.  I mostly have it so that no one else can have my moniker.  (I'm selfish like that)  So who was screwing around with my twitter???  Then i noticed this picture i took of Matt this weekend.

BUSTED.   Never trust a puppy.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS