Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The aftermath



Thanks to everyone for your kind words and advice.  I've been having a lot of trouble communicating how i'm feeling since the race, primarily because part of my frontal lobe actually melted.  True story.  Obviously, i will run a marathon again.  Mostly, because i signed up for two more this year, and i can't bear to waste money.   Also because in the history of weather, Ireland has only reached 90 degrees once and it was in 1887, and summer.  So a late October marathon there is about as close as you can get to a 50 degree guarantee.  


I've been thinking a lot about Sunday, and I'm stopping the pity party right about here.  Yeah, i was in the bottom 25% of finishers for this race, and my time was about an hour and a half longer than what i could probably do in ideal conditions.  But i was looking at all the results for the race, and about 20% of the people didn't finish.  And i did finish.  Also, i think my time should be knocked down by 15 minutes for the time i spent lying on the ground.  It's only fair.


Did you know that when i was in grad school i joined a local roller derby?  Don't get too excited, i was terrible. Some would say atrocious. My petite size made me a terrible blocker, and while i could usually achieve the speeds necessary to be a jammer, i couldn't control them and would fall. every time there was a curve.  On the round track.  My one skill when skating is that i got up faster than anyone.  I fell about 300% more frequently, but i would hit the ground and spring back up over and over and over.  I was never down for more than 2-3 seconds.  I think thats my gift.  


The aftermath:
1. I'm still not hungry, which is weird.  Based on training, i thought i would have been tearing through the kitchen like the incredible hulk, but i am struggling to eat.  I just don't want food.  I have been trying to drink disgusting protein shakes/meal drinks until my appetite returns.


2.  I'm not in pain.  My feet got a little roughed up, and my calves are a little tender, but i feel fine.  The only aftereffect i have had is intense waves of nausea, which i think is just residual dehydration.  I heard that you are not supposed to run for a couple weeks, but i think 6 hours in the giant sauna on Sunday might have saved me some muscle soreness.


3.  My brain is a little wonky.  I keep misspelling words (more than usual) and mixing words up when i talk.  Math is impossible right now.  I am seriously concerned that i lost part of my brain out there.


4.  I have been coughing since the race.  I think i strained my lungs a little.  I had a lot of trouble breathing in the second half, mostly because of the hot wind.  I might have been having an asthma attack, but i was too far gone to tell.  I feel like i used that coupon for cigarettes and then smoked them all.  


5.  I keep randomly bursting into tears.  It happened about 5 times yesterday.  Seriously. Brain. is. broken.


6.  Matt's in really bad shape.  I feel awful, because he was in no way prepared to run/walk/stagger 8 miles in that heat.  If it was impossible for me, i can't imagine what it was like for him.  He is feeling pretty rough, and really nervous for the soldier field 10 miler this weekend.  It's going to be awesome though.  I kind of want to super bowl shuffle across the finish line. 


7.  I don't know if i would run the Rockford full marathon again, mostly because of PTSD, but i would definitely do the half.  It's cheap, it's flat, and in nice weather its actually pretty scenic for Rockford.  And the volunteers were amazing for what they had to put up with (understaffed and not enough water)  


8. I'm still sad and disappointed, and probably will be for a while, but thats ok.  I have other races to look forward to, and most importantly, a summer full of running with awesome people.  

20 comments:

  1. the dehydration is likely why you are feeling wonky and you don't have an appetite yet. and maybe a little heat stroke? be kind to yourself...

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    1. I think you're right. I just feel so parched - i think i have clocked a mile in trips to the water cooler today :)

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  2. I think you get at least a week of pity party!!! :)

    And you don't have to wait that long to run if you don't want to. I am happy you feel physically okay! And I hope the mental parts come back soon (although I am never too great at math...).

    LOL about the cigs. I cannot believe that was in your race packet!!!

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    1. There were also McDonalds coupons, but strangely, that is not a race packet first for me!

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  3. Sara, I'm now 5 weeks post-Boston and still not quite right......so I. can. comiserate.

    Keep hydrating.....take it easy for a while......and you'll be back out there before you know it!!!

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    1. It makes me wonder how that Dean Karnazes does it! Although compared to how most people end up, i can't complain...I don't have a single blister!

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  4. Great blog! I shared it with some fellow runners/coworkers - we were all laughing/sympathizing (“no one paused my Garmin. Assholes”). I ran Rockford on Sunday. That was my 20-something marathon and 4th 80+ degree marathon in 5 years (I’m cursed). That was probably the worst one. I ran Rockford in 2008 and it was cold and I ran my best time. Heat will destroy anyone. The good news is that every marathon after this one will be more enjoyable for you. In regards to your physical state, I often can't eat after a race. I typically don't sleep well the night after a race - my body, including my brain, is completely agitated. I'm sure it's from some imbalance of chemical brought on by dehydration, stress, too many gels, etc... Actually, a lingering cold resurfaced Sunday night – I probably destroyed my immune system. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helped me frame how awful it was. The water/Gatorade was like drinking tea – the 30 mph wind wasn’t refreshing; it felt like a blast of heat from an oven. Don’t focus on the time it took you to finish. You should be extremely proud of yourself!!! You finished one of the hottest marathons in recent history.

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    1. Thanks so much! Its a relief to hear someone agree with me that the weather was kind of a bummer on Sunday. I kept asking people if it was hot out during the race, but everyone thought i was being a smart ass. I would like to think that down the road, i will be able to say that i have run 20+ marathons, and that Rockford 2012 was the worst one.

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  5. Keep on drinking. Make sure you're getting some sodium, too. You probably sweat out all the salt your body has ever stored!

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    1. i was going to photograph the salt streaks on my legs after the race, but the dog started licking me, and i just wanted to take an ice cold shower :)

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  6. Ugh, sorry to hear your marathon was basically hell. Just think how amazing your other marathons will be after that horrid experience!

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  7. I'm sure your body is still in shock from that race. Keep resting, drinking and take the time you need to recover. I have Soldier Field 10 miler war stories I need to share when we finally meet one of these days. Ha!

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  8. I too, feel terrible after my 1/2 this past sunday...but we have to remind ourselves that Mother Nature isn't always in our corner. But guess what, all of your friends ARE! keep your chin up love...xoxo

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  9. my guess is you need some hydrating still. I hope Matt recovers for this weekend.

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  10. Keep your head up, rest and take care of yourself! Mentally AND physically. You'll get through it. :)

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  11. Agreed, every marathon (even every race!) from here on out will be a piece of cake compared to this. You did it, and you finished and that's huge! Don't let the disappointment get you down, you should feel very proud that you were committed enough to stay out there! On to the next 26.2!

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  12. You pushed yourself and finished when so many other people would have quit miles before the finish. I agree with the previous comments about the dehydration being a big factor in how you are feeling now. That can really make you feel awful for days after.

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  13. I didn't run a marathon in that heat, but I totally know what you mean with your feelings of disappointment and I have gone through several of these stages of mourning myself. In the end, you did something not many people can say. You completed a marathon. That is no small feat. Plus, you have a great starting off point for a PR later this year with your other marathon(s). I like that your last point is keeping it positive. I think that's the best way to get over something sad. :)

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