Screw you foot.

I ended up with an almost astonishing mileage last week of 10 miles.  No, seriously, thats the total.  FOR THE WEEK.  I don't mind though, as i needed some R&R.  I was starting to think i had mono for christ's sake.  I have forgiven myself for taking a week off, and intend to resume training this week.  There is one little problem standing in my way.  or more so, one little problem NOT standing in my way.....My pinky toenail up and DONE LEFT ME!!!!  First my boss, now my damn toenail!  and i love that it chooses to leave on the week that i don't run.  Are you serious toenail?


I don't think it will be a huge problem....It doesn't really hurt, except when i am wearing my cowboy boots that rub up against the toe.  


URBAN COWGIRL PROBLEMS!

yep.

Yesterday i ended up doing nothing.  NOTHING.  i can't remember the last time i did that.  It's been years.  I didn't even put on real pants.  Leggings FTW!  I also didn't cook dinner and demanded takeout.  I also drank 2.5 dirty martinis.  2.5! (yes thats 2 POINT 5, not 25.  i do still have to go to work.....for now.)  Who does that??  ME!

salty boozy perfection.

I also discovered the show Jericho on netflix.  It's not zombies, but it is apocalyptic, and it has skeet ullrich, so i went for it.

what else was i gonna do...be a productive member of society??  HA!

So, that was my weekend of nothing.  Jericho, martinis, pantslessness, and a half-assed 5k.  I need to start actually running again this week, as i have a couple races on the horizon.  Also, i need to sign up for more races.  The midwest seems to have a shortage of early spring races!  (probably the mega-lame weather)  I haven't been able to find a half marathon before mid-april!  There is one in january, but i just don't know if i can handle all that cold up in my business.  I have seen January's where is 60 degrees, but also Januarys where it's -30.  So that one is TBD.  If anyone reads my blog (HA!) and knows of some good midwestern races in Feb/March, let me know!!

The run of the dead!

Yesterday morning some of my friends and i got up to run the "carreras de los muertos"  or the "run of the dead"


A lot of factors were in play to make this a terrible race.  To me, 5ks are pointless because i am slow and steady like the turtle.  Plus it was cold.  plus i had a hangover.  plus, we were out of granola bars.  Like a trifecta of bad news.  I even debated not going.....i think the fact that my professional like was in chaos would be excuse enough to skip a 5k.  My friend Aaron however shared the fact that he had only gotten 4 hours of sleep, and had franzia and pizza for dinner.  I decided to stop moping and go.  We got there at the perfect time...we were a little behind schedule, but still made it to the race on time, and it meant less time standing in the cold.  My friend Katherine was running with us, and is a new runner, so that is really exciting.  I ended up not dressing up because none of my friends did, and i regret that now.  There were some awesome costumes!  I am  for sure running it next year, AND dressing up.

Matt, Me, my neon green sports bra, Aaron, Katherine, and Marcie.

The race itself was pretty awesome for a 5k.  It was a fun run/walk, so people weren't too serious.  There were lots of fire dancers and bands along the course, which is amazing!  Katherine was worried that we would zoom ahead and abandon her (no one has ever put "me" and "zoom" in the same sentence"  so she was the official pace setter.  It was actually really nice.  I have been obsessing over pace and getting faster lately, and it makes running hard and sad.  This slow super easy run was just what i needed.  We were all able to talk to each other, and laugh and look at costumes, and enjoy the nice chilly weather (mid 30's, yikes!).  It was really nice to not care at all about what time it was!  After the race, we got free tampico and churros!

putting that hangover in its place!

Anyways, i cannot say enough nice things about this race.  The only downside is that i have to wait an entire year for it to come back.  LAME.  At least i have the awesome shirt to wear.

I think i also loved this race because it was just what i needed.  To remember that i actually really love running, and that i have come pretty far in the 6 months i have been doing it.  I have been feeling so overwhelmed lately (mostly from my job!  DAMN YOU JOB!)  and my running has been suffering in the wake of my stress induced exhaustive state.  This race inspired me take the rest of the weekend off.  No worrying.  no errand running.  just laying around, reading, watching movies, and maybe, but only maybe, i will go for a nice easy run today!

Zombies?

I tried to go to the costume store for "run of the dead" accessories, and it was a grade A skankfest nightmare.  NIGHTMARE.  I felt like i was going to have a panic attack, so i decided to come home and drink a  bunch of dirty martinis.  Because that makes sense the night before a race.  I have a preused zombie costume that i am debating wearing.

memmmmmoooorrriiieeessssssss

Yeah, i was zombie bridesmaid.  I am sitting here drinking my martini debating if i could run a 5k in this baby tomorrow morning.  Actually, i am debating if i can run a 5k tomorrow morning.  I suppose the most perfect ending to this month would be to combine zombies and running.  Also, it could be an excuse for running slow, rather than my inevitable hangover.  

Maybe one more martini and will have talked myself into it.......

weirdest. day. ever.

So this post will be short.  My boss quit today.  so that's kinda weird.  There is really only one thing that can be derived from this.


I'm in charge now.


Ok, totally not true at all.  BUT, since my coworker is on vacation, i am kinda running the department for today.  Needless to day, all this work drama is affecting my ability to run and eat candy.  I have been feeling super tired, and thinking i had mono, but it turns out it's just work stress!!  I'd like to think that even kara goucher has weeks where she is overwhelmed by life and doesn't run as much as she would like too.  


I didn't run yesterday, but i did get a bunch done at work, celebrated my best friends birthday, and made these awesome cupcakes!

Maybe betty crocker helped a teeny bit.

I know its not much, but i felt super empowered to work a ridiculously long day and still knock out some awesome cupcakes.


Today, i have to figure out how i am going to dress for the Carrera de las Muertes tomorrow.  (The run of the dead!)  Its a 5k through the historic Pilsen neighborhood here in Chicago.  I wanted to wear a bright sombrero, but i don't know how well it would stay on my head (because i am SOOOOOO fast and all.)  I think i am going to hit up the Halloween store at lunch to look for some cool accessories.  I didn't cross train this morning because i consumed quite a few miller highlifes last night in celebration of all that is Rachel, so i think i am going to try and force myself to go after work.

Champagne of beers?  YEAH ya are!

I will probably blog about more interesting things when i am not so stunned by my new being the boss lifestyle!

de ja vu

I am finally back at my office!  Ugh, why am i excited about that?  Traveling around was actually kind of fun, but it was a lot of driving, and sleeping in beds that are not my bed.  I did however get to stay in the lap of luxury - The Grand Geneva.  This is a picture of my room:

This is what i have deserved all along.

Its a really nice resort.  I had been here once before, for a wedding many years ago, and didn't realize it was the same place until i was walking through the hallways of the resort lost, and had a flashback to that wedding where my date got drunk and peed in the hallway.  AT THE GRAND GENEVA!  I am surprised they let me back in!  
I won't bore you with the details of the conference, because unless you are an engineer, they will bore you to death, and even if you are an engineer, it still was far from razzle dazzle.  


Some highlights:
1.  Tv in bathroom.  This sounds gross, but it allowed me to put on my make-up, admire myself, and watch the news all at once.  AMAZING.
2.  Individual temp thingy.  I am pretty sure most hotels probably have this (obviously i don't stay in them very often) I won't lie.  I set that baby to 78.  We can't figure out our furnace yet, and i can't deal with sleeping in a 55 degree room any longer.  78 was amazing, and i slept like a babe.
3.  Awesome food.  They served dessert with lunch! (two different kinds, so naturally i got two lunch-desserts.  I love America.)


Some lowlights:
1.  They had beautiful, scenic path that went around a lake that i wasn't allowed to use.  Apparently, it was for the golfers.  They did however offer my the consolation of either a.  running through the woods in the dark.  or b.  running on a road in the dark where people drive like maniacs.  REALLY?  I ended up running on there fancy treadmill.  It was fine for what it was, but i still hate the treadmill more than anything.  I ran three miles and struggles alot.


The conference wrapped up yesterday, and i got to drive home just in time to hit rushhour traffic.  I did manage to squeeze in a 3 mile run around the neighborhood when i got back, and then went to hot yoga.  


Last night i baked some cupcakes as well which i will frost and deliver tonight at my best friends birthday bonanza.  I will take pictures, or if i screw it up, i will post pictures of much more beautiful cupcakes, and lie and say they are mine!

I am a Unicorn

I am currently out of town for an engineering conference.  In case you were wondering, yes, it is incredibly boring, and yes, i am the only female in attendance at the conference.  On the plus side, it is at a super swanky  resort, when my bathroom mirror is also a large screen tv.  I will have a much longer post describing my amazing design talents, adventures in Wisconsin, running in a gym built for royalty, and my future arrest for running through the golf course they forbade me from running through tomorrow!

Until tomorrow, folks....

Zombie Marathon day 23

Yeah, i am behind by about four movies.  I might actually feel bad about it too if people read my blog.  

Holy mother of hell.Last night i watched REC, and it was about as close as i have ever com to peeing my pants out of fear.

(two close calls in one weekend, dang!)  This was the Spanish zombie movie that "Quarantine" was based on.  I vaguely remember watching quarantine and being so scared i turned it off.  That was a good decision, in hind-sight.  I was so scared i couldn't sleep.  Whats even worse is that there is a sequel, waiting for me....and two more in the works.  CRAP.  The only major difference between REC and Quarantine is that Quarantine has some religious/possession themes to it.  Like it matters, either way, it is TERRIFYING.  It plays on a combination of all my fears....being alone in the dark with fast-moving zombies in a psychopaths torture lair.  YIKES.

PROS:

1. Zombies are legit scary.

2  They don't explain what is going on, so you are clueless as to why everything is happening

3.  The Madieras girl.  (You will know when you watch it.

CONS:

1.  You will have nightmares

2.  You will have to watch the sequels, most likely causing additional nightmares

3.  You may or may not pee your pants.

Things to do in Cincinnati

If you should ever find yourself in Cincinnati, here are some things to check out!  After the race, Matt and i hung out at the after party drinking Moerlein Lagers (they sponsered the race).  They were delicious!  I wish i could have drank more actually, but my stomach felt a little weird after running for so long.  We went home and made some turkey bacon and eggs (my fav)  and i ended up taking a power nap.  When i woke up, the real hunger started to kick in, and it was a beautiful sunny day, so i demanded froyo.  To which Matt said "doesn't exist in Cincinnati."  I call shenanigans on that, but he took me to Graeters Ice cream, demanding it was even better than froyo.  My main issue with ice cream is that 90% of the flavors have chocolate in them, and that really isn't my cup of tea.  Graeters won me over though, because they also had cotton candy with sprinkles ice cream.  If there was ever a more perfect combination than cotton candy and sprinkles, i haven't heard of it!

Apparently, perfection DOES exist.

Graeters also had gourmet candy and desserts!

Well HELLO THERE, boys!

The biggest thing that Cincinnati is known for, arguably, is skyline chili.  The only problem with skyline chili is that i don't eat beef, and Cincinnati doesn't tolerate vegetarians.  Thank goodness Jessica was the guinea pig, and not only went to Skyline, but got the 5-way chili inverted with garlic.  Basically, thats hardcore.  I would post a picture, but it is horrific beyond words.  You are a trooper Jess.
Every i go to Cincy, i see a fast food chain called Big Boy.  Matt refuses to take me there because their specialty is fried fish and tarter sauce - two things i hate.  I finally convinced him this time, at least to pull over, let me jump out of the car, and take a picture of me with the big boy!

Next time i am buying a hamburger to hold up next to him!

We also went to two bars while we there.
The first was Japps (seriously)  which is a fairly new casual cocktail bar.  The drinks were excellent, but they didn't have a ton of beer selections for the boys.  The second place we went was called Neon's, and had an amazing outdoor patio space with heaters and firepits.  It was a little crowded though, probably because it was awesome.  The drinks were very strong, and we ended up making a late night run to the border.  Literally.  We ended up at a taco bell in Kentucky.  These things happen.


My only regret is that running so slow cut into my valuable Cincinnati eating time!  I will be back for christmas, and you better believe i will be back for you, big boy!

The Nasty 'Nati

Well, another half marathon and i didn't die.  I am also still slow though, and slightly concerned that i will never ever qualify for the Boston marathon until i am 80.  If thats the way it is, SO BE IT!


Friday:
Matt, my former roommate Jessica, and myself drove down to Cincy after work.  It's about a 5 1/2 hour drive, so already, that is lame.  I was super concerned about what to eat, because i get really nervous before a race, and have a sensitive stomach to begin with.  We ended up stopping at Wendys, and i had a delicious baked potato and a side salad.

Matt was running the 5k, and decided to carbo-load with a spicy chicken sandwich, fries, soda, and later a mcflurry.  He is very serious about fuel.

We went to sleep around 12:30, and woke up at 5:30, so i could have my coffee and screw around for a little bit.  I become hysterical when i am running late, so i like to make sure i have plenty of time.  We left for the race, which was about a 20 minute drive, but we ended up getting lost in downtown Cincinnati.  (Navigation is one of my weak points.  that and running.  and saying no to candy)  We started to see other runners after driving in circles, and eventually just parked.  By this time we had about 10 minutes until the race started, and i entered hysteria mode.  (why can't i just start a race without chaos???)  We made it with a few minutes to spare, but as i was entering the corral, i realized we had SWITCHED NUMBERS!  i was wearing Matt's 5k bib!!  It was also 35 degrees, so we struggled to unhook the safety pins.  We ended up ripping the bibs off, and it was a nightmare.  By the time we got straightened out, i had 60 seconds to mentally prepare myself, and realize that i had to pee. awesome.  At least it made me forget how freaking cold it was.  The race started and the sun came up and slowly warmed things a tiny bit.  The only thing i remembered about the first 5 miles is that we passes a cupcake shop. 

priorities.

I saw matt at mile 6 because he had just finished his 5k, and that was a nice surprise.  Then the course switches to a road along the river for an out and back for the remaining 7 miles.  The only problem was that a huge fog cloud had rolled in!  you could only see 10 feet in front of you!  I tried to take a picture, but it didn't turn out, so just imaging a white square.

Oh shit, fog!

It was really confusing, and i kind of lost sense of where i was.  I also felt really lonely because i could only see people close to me.  There weren't many spectators, but i had a few people yell to me that they loved my outfit, and that made it all worth while.  I put my head phones in at mile 8, but was starting to lose my energy at that point.  I was tired and cold, and over the whole running thing.  I took a gel (jet blackberry, the only one that doesn't make me want to puke)  but it didn't seem to help too much.  My last two miles were slow, and i started to have a lot of trouble breathing.  Damn you ohio river valley!!  The last mile emerged from the fog onto a beautiful river walk.  It was still only 39 degrees, and i couldn't feel my legs.  I actually thought i had peed myself at one point, but it turns out it was just thigh-frostbite turning into thigh chafing.  The last half a mile was so hard and painful.  I saw Matt and just gave one final push.  I finished in 2:02:15, which was 12 minutes better than the last race, but 2 minutes slower than what i wanted to run.  I was really sad until they offered me free unlimited beer as a condolence prize.

Not dying is always a win!

All in all, it was a really nice race.  Only a few water stations, but it was so cold that i didn't even stop at the last one.  The after party was really nice, and they even gave out candy!

yes.

Matt ended up winning first for his age group!!  also, there were three people in his age group.  I need to run races like that!

winners.

In summary, the Cincinnati half marathon was a really fun race!  Just make sure you know where you are going in the morning, and be ready to want to hang out a while after.  I hope to run it again next year!!

Another race medal for cluckie!

I have some more to discuss on Cincinnati in general, like ice cream, and my views on 5-way chili, but i will have to do it in the morning.  It's late and i have to pack for a conference, and i am pee-my-pants scared from the zombie movie i just watched.

And did i mention my legs hurt?  they do.

Zombie Marathon day 20

Bad weather, bad traffic, and cranky because our heat isn't working and our apartment is hovering in the upper 50's.  We need a good zombie movie.

Thank god for you.

Everytime i watch this movie, it gets better.  I LURVEEEEEEEEEE this movie.  When i watch this movie, i feel that i could also survive a zombie apocalypse.  Except i would have a baseball bat instead of a cricket paddle.  Because i am American and all.  While i was watching it, i tried to think of what bar i would hole myself up in during zombie apocalypse.  My first thought was Bob-inn

The greatest bar in Chicago.  period.

I love this bar.  I  moved to be closer to this bar. It's family owned, and sometimes i enjoy just going in to enjoy a beer, watch a sports game, and chat with my neighbors.  Todays pros and cons will be about surviving the zombie apocalypse in the Bob Inn.  (Chicago's "Winchester")


PROS:  
1.  Closest bar to my house, could get there in 5 minutes.  2 1/2 minutes if being chased by zombies.
2.  Fully stocked with can's of miller highlife.  They know what i like.
3.  No one else would think to go there during zombie apocalypse.


CONS:
1.  No food.  I can't go more than three hours without eating something.
2.  Front door is weak, and would not provide much protection from zombies.
3.  They don't have weapons in the bar.  That i know of.  All though i bet i could do some damage with a pool cue....

The greatest thing since sliced bread....

is sliced bagels.

THE BAGELS WERE PRESLICED!!!

Ohhh, thats cute.  you thought i only ate half the bagel?  HA!  I inhaled half of it before i could get my camera out.  What else am i supposed to do on a guilt-free mandatory rest day?  Its kind of nice actually.  I got to sleep in.....i got to drink beer last night.....man, i could get used to rest days!!   


Actually, i am pretty sure they call that "not running."
(and who am I kidding, i drink beer most nights.  The only difference was that i didn't have to run hungover today and instead got to sleep in and then eat a bagel.  I LOVE BAGEL DAY!)


Now i am besides myself with two things.  
1: What to wear tomorrow.  The race starts at sunrise tomorrow.  (how awful romantic)  There is a high of 64 (perfect)  But when the race starts, it will probably be in the upper 30's  (dis-like.)  Pants?  shorts?  Gloves?  I don't know what to dooooo!


2:  What do i eat for dinner tonight?  We are leaving Chicago right after work tonight, but it's a 5-6 hour drive.  I could pack a dinner, but that would be super annoying for my travel mates.  I could eat fast food, but it normally makes me sick, even in the best circumstances.  (my stomach just can't not handle all that deliciousness.)  I normally eat plain, sauceless pasta before my long runs.  Or rice, or something bland.  How the hell do i do that on the road??


If bagels can become even better, than so can i.  I will figure this one out.  Lets just hope not the hard way.  Or the puke during a race way.

Zombie Marathon day 19

We watched Zombie High

It started out well enough....ridiculous 80's soundtrack....gratuitous tube socks.....what could go wrong?
This is a movie from the 80's about a girl who transfers to a swanky prep school....and then things go terribly wrongggggg!


I object to their interpretation of zombies.  When they say "zombie" they mean lobotomized teenagers that study hard, do well in school, are extremely focused and polite.  The exact opposite of teenagers.  I am pretty sure this already exists, and they call it ritalin.  or adderol.  AND, if that is what it is to be a zombie, SIGN ME UP.  If i had focus, i probably could have taken over the world years ago.  I would like to make sure that my future children are also zombies.  convert them young, i say.  It wasn't particularly scary or funny.  I actually found the movie really boring, and had trouble staying focused.  Maybe if i were a zombie, i could have sat through it.  The scariest part of the whole night was the tree branch that kept hitting our window.  


PROS:
1.  Keytar and synthesizers used to transition scenes
2.  Tube socks in full effect
3.  Nope...sorry.


CONS:
1.  Created a time warp, we paused it after watching for three hours, and only 40 minutes had elapsed
2.  Not scary
3.  Makes me want to be a zombie...

Going nowhere fast

Today was my "Last Chance" run before Cincinnati.  Much like in the biggest loser, its my last chance to squeeze in a challenging run in the morning, outside, before weigh-in raceday.  On the bright side, there was an hour gap in the pouring rain this morning.  On the not so bright side, it was 42 degrees, 36 with the windchill, which was carried in on 40 mph winds, and still raining a little bit.  What happened to fall??  We went right from summer to winter!!  I am not prepared!!  I ran 2.5 miles, but is was so windy it felt twice as far.  I actually have some wind burn on my face!  I got a lot of weird looks too, kinda like "HEY LADY- DIDN'T YOU SEE THE RED EXCLAMATION POINT FROM WEATHER BUG??"  I couldn't tell if they were looking at me with pity, or condescending disdain.  Maybe it was the fact that i was dressed like a special needs runner?  I have no winter running gear (uhhhh, it was 80 degrees last week!)  So i had to piece together a cold weather outfit as best i could.  I wore my capris (because i don't have pants)  gray knit knee high socks (because baseball players do it) a white long sleeve shirt, and my gray shark hoodie.  I also had brightly colored mismatch cotton gloves, and my Purdue ear warmers.  So, yeah...i looked like an olympian.  A very special olympian.

in my mind, this makes sense.

yep.  that just happened.

My personal style services are available, for anyone who needs to suit up for cold weather running, but doesn't have the money for pants!

The windy city of doom.

There is one thing more than any other that i hate to wake up to.  I don't mind the alarm.  I actually enjoy sun on my face.  Even the train is an endearing thing to wake up to.  The one thing i loathe in the morning is the Weather bug alerts.

Guess what?!? Your morning run is cancelled.  And you will spend two hours in traffic.  And you will still be late to work,

Chicago is under some kind of attack, from what i can only assume to be poseidon, god of the ocean, and acting ruler over Lake Michigan.  The city is being sacked right now with pouring rain, super high winds, colder than usual temps, and even 15 ft waves on lake Michigan.  Thats quite a wave for a lake!  They even closed down the lakefront path so that innocent joggers won't be swept into the abyss. Needless to say that exclamation point ruined my morning, and so many other warnings as well.  (excessive heat warning! freezing rain! blizzard!)  I have my hot yoga class tonight, so i wont have time to run after work, unless i go really late, which totally interferes with my desire to go to bed at 9, so this left me with no choice but to run on the dreadmill.

Remember me??  VWA HA HA!

We have one in the basement at work, so it is kinda my plan C when i can't find the time to run both before and after work, and have to run on my lunch break.  LAME.  Today i did 4 miles at 9 minutes a mile.  I even tried to entertain myself by pretending to do speed training, but in reality tried to find the speed at which i fall off the machine.  (8.4, in case you were curious)  


I just cannot run on a treadmill.  I get so bored, and then start to focus on how it makes my shins hurt.  Or how long a minute really is.  Or how slow i am actually going when you have the time to think about it.  Then, because i am at work, i have to spend the next hour with the dreaded tomato face, which i get real bad.  (the downfall of being ginger.)  Having red hair and a tomato face is unacceptable.  UNACCEPTABLE!


Ok, i should probably stop whining and start working.  Some people train for marathons using only a treadmill, because they live in places even more uninhabitable than Chicago (the horror!)  I will just pout way through this bad weather, because to be honest, it's only going to get worse from here.  Winter is coming.

You have no idea, girl.  NO IDEA.

Zombie Marathon day 18

Man!  Watching all these movies is just as exhausting as running!!


Last night, matt and i decided to go for a scary one.  It was really cold in our apartment, mostly because i am a nazi that wont turn the heat on until november, even if it is 50 degrees in the apartment.  (Gas ain't cheap!)


We watched "Mutants"

It. was. scary. and. French.


I don't know what it is about the French, but then just seem to film movies so much better.  
This movie scared me.  At multiple points, i debated just turning it off so i could go to bed and have horrible nightmares all night.  I think the scariest part about it, is that the main character is alone in this giant scary building with her husband slowly transforming into a zombie, and that sucks.  Other survivors eventually end up at the building as well, but they only want to steal her ambulance rather than help her.  French people are so mean!  If i happen to be in France when the zombie apocalypse occurs, i am just going to start shooting anyone who gets near me, because French zombie movies have taught me better than to EVER TRUST A FRENCH PERSON!  This is the second of three French zombie movies on my cue for October.  Luckily the third one is a drama, and in no way scary, because French horror movies make me want to pee my pants.


PROS:
1.  It's scary.  I was hiding under a blanket at one point
2.  Zombie transformation was really believable.  Kudos to the makeup people
3.  Uber skinny woman claiming to be pregnant is heroine and sole survivor, just like in the Horde


CONS:
1.  Shouldn't not have watched on a scary stormy night
2.  Ending leaves you hanging a bit, and that annoys me
3.  Subtitles.  Even harder when you are hiding under a blanket.

Zombie Marathon day 13

Zombie Wars.

Don't worry, it's much cheesier that the cover would let on.

Zombie Wars take place 50 years after the zombie revolution, and the human survivors are scavengers in rags, sleeping under tarps and struggling to survive.  The zombies however, have started farming people solely for food.  They also have barns for the people, and farm people food to feed the people.

SERIOUSLY?  The zombies are that smart and the people are that stupid?  I am very displeased if the only people who survive zombie apocalypse are the boneheads and rejects.  And, while i am not an animal rights activist, i could totally see how this could play into animal rights, because the human rag-tag band keeps breaking into the zombie farm to try and free (or more accurately, bang) the farmed humans.  Am i the only one who could see PETA all over this?  This movie was so bad, it was awesome.  Just make sure you have a drink or two while you watch it.

PROS:

1.  The farmed people are like, norwegian porn stars, and that amuses me.

2.  The zombies only seem to know how to grow carrots to feed the people.

3.  90% sure all the actors in this film have a background in porn, and thought this was "their big break"

CONS:

1.  I find it hard to believe the zombies are that much more civilized than people.  Maybe I'm a bitch

2.  Pretty poorly filmed

3.  90% sure all the actors in this film have a background in porn, and thought this was "their big break"

Stay tuned, more back blogs to come over the course of the week!!

Coach Skunky McSpeedwork

After work i went for what will probably be my last run on my afterwork trail until spring.  It was pitch black by 6:30, and i dont feel comfortable running through the woods alone in the dark.  (You hear that serial killers?  I'M ON TO YOU.)  It was really important to me that this run be good, because i am nervous about sucking at the half marathon this weekend.  Remember how hours ago i blogged with youthful glee about cotton candy corn?  SCREW YOU CANDY CORN.  It totally decided to try for an encore appearance on my run.  So wonderful going down, not so wonderful trying to come up.  


***in defense of the candy corn, maybe if i had stuck to a single serving, it wouldn't have been so deadly.


I really started to slow down in order to keep the contents of my stomach intact, when right in front of me on the trail i saw this:

HEY GURRRRLLLLLL!

Yeah.  A god damn skunk within a few feet of me.  I only first saw a skunk this past summer, in an unfortunate "late night dog-walking/misidentifying as a suburban squirrel" incident, and after that, i swore i never wanted to see one again.  Especially not all up in my face.  I assume that like most animals, if you remain calm and don't make sudden movements, you will be fine.  Naturally, i start screaming, and SPRINT the other way.  I still felt sick, but there was no way i was getting skunked.  I didn't stop to look behind me, but i am 99% sure he chased me all the way back to my car, like a stinky, black and white bobcat.  I wonder what the fastest speeds are that skunks have been clocked at?

Why do you run so fast, amour?? your negative split, its c'est magnifique!

Needless to say, despite wanting to walk the second half my run, i ended up with a wicked negative split, and a run not to be ashamed of.  Thank you, Coach Skunky McSpeedwork, i would be much slower with out you.  

Coach Skunky's speed training shaved minutes off my time!

yeah they did.

Cotton Candy Corns.

God damn you target!  I swore i would buy no more candy corn this year!  This is how they get me.  Every year they come up with new flavors that i HAVE to sample.  At least i can assure you that it is delicious.  I was out all morning doing store visits for work, and also not so secretly looking for a running jacket.  I am already sensing that this will be a nightmare, because i am crazing about details.  At the rate i am going, i should have a jacket by next spring.   At least the weather for Cincinnati this weekend is supposed to be sunny and 60.  If only it were as easy for me to purchase a running jacket as it is for me to purchase bulk candy corns...